Hello! This site is amazing. I’ve done just a little bit of searching around, and was motivated to join and write as I am at a crossroads with my current mattress.
We started out on a twin on the floor of our studio, lol. Then inherited a futon, which we did well on in our 20s. The first mattress we bought was a Simmons Beautyrest pillowtop. He thought I liked it, I thought he liked it and we kept it for over 10 years. He suffered more than I did with this choice. We are determined to get a suitable mattress this time, but we are struggling. In general, he likes a firmer, flatter bed and I like softer. He’s 230 lbs and I’m 150 in the 5’7" range. He’s mostly a side sleeper. I’m mostly a back sleeper with a little side, too. He’s easily adaptable and I am ultra-sensitive. The most important part of my value equation is my/our comfort. I won’t spend $10K on a camel hair bed, but I also won’t hem and haw about $800 here or there for a better deal. My best deal will be that I love my bed, not hate it. I feel fairly hopeless right now, but I’m trying to cultivate belief that there is a mattress out there that will work for me/us.
We decided on the Alpine HDM CK (C level firmness) on standard boxes at ESW. I wanted to cry after sleeping on this all night, so we switched to split A/B firmness with me taking the A side. I kept switching back and forth between A and B and while better than the C, not okay. Got a pillow top, slightly better, not okay. Changed out for the adjustable slats (softest setting), repositioned the adjustable slats, slightly better not okay. Added a 1/2" layer of foam in the mattress, still not okay. For me. He’s fine and adjusting to all of these changes. But for me, I feel like I have this constant pressure on my low to mid back. I feel like I’m on a platform only on my low to mid back. This has been the problem since the beginning. It has become less intense since trying the other things, but uncomfortable enough that I wake up stiff in the middle of the night and in the morning. At night my body is moving itself toward the center of the bed for relief. I don’t like the slats so much, because I must stay in an exact position and it still feels stiff, even though initially it was softer than the boxes. I even moved to the center on purpose several nights for relief. Their suggestion at this point is to try the Nordic 2 HDM (A firmness) with pillow top. The reason is that the Nordic will give more pressure relief. And don’t go for the Calico because it would be too drastic for my partner. Even though when trying it out before, I remember feeling like I liked the Calico.
I should ask what about the Nordic will give the pressure relief. The only thing I can think of is either the different coils or more latex. I’m doubtful that more latex will help, because as we added the pillowtop and the ½" inside the mattress, it only marginally became more comfortable to me.
So far we love the natural materials with no offgassing, are glad that we don’t sleep hot anymore, and appreciate the customer service. I just need to find something that is comfortable. It is so hard to try out in the store and say what feels okay, and then sleep on it all night and it feels terrible. There’s no way I could fathom ever ordering a bed online. I feel like I’m doing a terrible job testing it out in the store. I wonder if I’m not being honest with myself. I wonder if I’m trying out the bed and saying, eh this could work, but I really don’t like it, but I’m saying eh this could work, because I don’t believe there’s a bed that will work for me or be compatible with my partner.
We’ve been mattress shopping for 4 years now, and finally pulled the trigger on something. In that process we know we don’t like tempurpedic, we don’t like solid latex, he doesn’t like tufted tops. We’re either exchanging for a different bed or returning and sleeping on camping mats until we can figure something out.
Trying to stay hopeful. We welcome any suggestions as we go through our process.