Hi shaxpere,
I’m sorry to hear that your mattresses didn’t work out for you as well as you hoped for.
While both of the mattresses you purchased use good quality materials … It certainly sounds like neither one of them was a good “match” for you in terms of PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and your Personal preferences).
While it’s not possible to “diagnose” mattress comfort issues on a forum with any certainty because there are too many unique unknowns, variables, and complexities involved that can affect how each person sleeps on a mattress in terms of “comfort” and PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and your Personal preferences) or any “symptoms” they experience … there is more about the most common symptoms that people may experience when they sleep on a mattress and the most likely (although not the only) reasons for them in post #2 here.
There is also more about primary or “deep” support and secondary or “surface” support and their relationship to firmness and pressure relief and the “roles” of different layers in a mattress in post #2 here and in post #4 here that may also be helpful in clarifying the difference between “support” and “pressure relief” and “feel”.
These posts are the “tools” that can help with the analysis, detective work, or trial and error that may be necessary to help you learn your body’s language and “translate” what your body is trying to tell you so you can identify the types of changes that have the best chance of reducing or eliminating any “symptoms” you are experiencing (at least to the degree that any symptoms are from your mattress rather than the result of any other circumstances or pre-existing issues you may have that aren’t connected to a mattress).
While the most common cause of lower back pain is a mattress that is too soft … it can also be caused by a mattress that is too firm and if I had to guess based on your comments I would say that this is probably what is happening in your case.
There are also some comments about Essentia and some of the misleading claims they make and some forum discussions with them (as well as some of the FTC issues they have had about their claims) in this thread and this thread and posts #3 and #4 here). I certainly wouldn’t treat the information on their website (or on some of the other websites I’ve seen that write about them) as a reliable source of “fact based” information and I would also make some very careful “value” comparisons before considering any Essentia mattress because they tend to be in a much higher budget range than other mattresses that use similar quality materials as well and for most people they certainly wouldn’t be the best value choice.
It’s possible that adding a topper may solve the issues you are having … but if you can’t test the mattress/topper combination in person then there is always some risk and uncertainty involved in adding a topper because the specifics of the mattress itself along with your own body type, sleeping position, and preferences can affect which specific topper would be a suitable choice on any specific mattress.
While only you can decide what to do … given the cost of the Essentia mattress and the uncertainty that can be involved in adding a topper … if I was in your shoes I would probably lean towards returning it and starting over again so you can choose a mattress that is a better “match” for you in terms of PPP.
If you decide to try a topper then there is more information about choosing a topper in post #2 here and the topper guidelines it links to which along with a conversation with a reliable supplier that can provide you with good information about how their toppers compare to each other or to other toppers they are familiar with that are available on the market can help you use your sleeping experience as a reference point and guideline to help you choose the type, thickness, and firmness for a topper that has the least possible risk and the best chance for success.
If you decide to purchase a different mattress … the first place to start your research is the mattress shopping tutorial here which includes all the basic information, steps, and guidelines that can help you make the best possible choice … and perhaps more importantly know how and why to avoid the worst ones.
Two of the most important links in the tutorial that I would especially make sure you’ve read are post #2 here which has more about the different ways to choose a suitable mattress (either locally or online) that is the best “match” for you in terms of “comfort” and PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and Personal preferences) that can help you assess and minimize the risks of making a choice that doesn’t turn out as well as you hoped for and post #13 here which has more about the most important parts of the “value” of a mattress purchase which can help you make more meaningful quality/value comparisons between mattresses in terms of suitability (how well you will sleep), durability (how long you will sleep well), and the overall value of a mattress compared to your other finalists (based on all the parts of your personal value equation that are most important to you).
If you are looking at online options then the tutorial includes several links to lists of the better online manufacturers and retailers I’m aware of (in the optional online step) that include a wide range of different types and categories of mattresses in a wide range of different designs, firmness levels and budgets and many of them have good return policies as well.
If you are also interested in local options that you can test in person before a purchase then if you let me know your city or zip code I’d also be happy to let you know about the better options or possibilities I’m aware of in your area as well.
Phoenix