Hi McFife,
Thank you for the kind words … and you’re welcome 
I imagine you’ve probably seen this but just in case the members of the site that specialize in phone or online orders are listed in post #21 here with a brief description of each. While Savvy Rest and PLB are also high quality choices … I certainly agree with your comments about their relative value.
On the page here, the SleepEz ILD’s are listed. soft is 22-24, medium is 30-32, firm is 36-40 and X-firm (not shown) is 44. Of course ILD’s are never exact although Talalay is more “accurate” and consistent across the surface than Dunlop.
While suggestions based on height, weight, body shape, and sleeping positions are never as accurate as personal testing because there isn’t really a point of reference as to how you perceive different layering patterns, and Shawn has much more experience with his specific mattresses than I have with thousands of customer’s feedback about different layering (which is also true with the specific mattresses made by the other manufacturing members here), my guess would be for you (top to bottom) Medium/Firm/X-Firm and for your wife one step down in each layer so Soft/ Medium/ Firm. This would also give you a variety of layers to re-arrange to test any fine tuning that was needed. Because you are primarily a side sleeper (and based on preference as well) … you may also prefer a soft layer on top to allow your shoulders to sink in more (this for example would be my personal preference as a side sleeper who is a “fan” of softer over firmer and is 6’5" and 195 lbs) while keeping the firmer layer underneath to keep the support. The mix of layers would allow you to test this by “borrowing” your wife’s soft layer while she could test the medium on top to see if she preferred it for her back sleeping which doesn’t need the same softness/thickness as side sleeping.
Like the others here … they are great with phone consultations and a conversation can better take into account the nuances, mattresses you know you have liked, and known preferences or issues you have had with other mattresses rather than just the “basics”.
Hope this helps.
Phoenix