Definitely "sleepless in seattle" and need some advice

Oh man, I wish i had found these forums before buying my bed - but now I’m in a situation and looking for advice on what to do.

Some background - I had been living in a fully furnished place in Oregon, sleeping on their mattress (not even sure what it was). It was saggy as all get out - but I never had aches and pains. Had to move to the seattle area for work, into a place with no furniture. Not having found this forum - I blithely wandered into a big chain mattress store…

I have always slept in this funky kind-of part stomache, part side position. I’m a bit on the heavier side, definitely “curvy” and starting to feel some aches and pains at 47. Needless to say, the salesperson took me into the “S” mattresses. I sleep extremely hot, made even worse by my current changes as I age. Memory foam and tempurpedic mattress in the past always felt uncomfortably warm to me - so I steered clear of those.

So, first mattress was a Sealy firm - they called it an A-70, which I realize now means nothing - lol. Anyway, home it came. 3 weeks later I felt like I’d gone 5 rounds with Mike Tyson. EVERYTHING hurt, from my shoulders to my ribs to my breastbone, and I was miserable. And my jaw was sore from grinding my teeth at night, which i never did before this mattress.

Went back to do the exchange. Tried every mattress in there again. Ended up with a Stearns & Foster “Ann Marie” Luxury Plush Euro Pillowtop (I know, I know - mistake # 2). For the first 3 nights I felt amazing. Then, BAM - something wrenched in my neck and my side, and it felt like a bruised rib or something… The last 5 days have been heaping amounts of Tiger Balm and constant heating pads and wraps. Still hurts, but at least I feel like I can walk without grimacing. The only position I can sleep in at the moment is on my back, which i have never been able to sleep in that position before. Anything else just hurts. But, the jaw pain is gone at least…

So, here I am without the option of exchanging again - and I’m trying to figure out what I can do to make the best of this situation.

After doing some research, I was thinking of adding either a wool mattress pad or a topper. I still sleep incredibly warm (with a new hell of hot flashes as I get older). What I don’t know for sure, though, is whether this mattress is already too software with it’s Pillowtop - or if that part is still not letting me get comfortable…

I’m not at all sure what to do… I guess I could write this off as a bad purchase - but i really don’t have the funds to just chuck this mattress and start again. But i also don’t want to throw good money after bad. However, getting a great night’s sleep is a priority for me.

Anyway, I’m looking for some solid advice from anyone that would like to reply. In the meantime, it’s time to change the heating pad :slight_smile:

Hi bghouse,

The first step would be to identify if your “symptoms” are from a mattress that is too soft and doesn’t provide enough pressure relief and contouring in which case a topper can help (see the topper guidelines in post #8 here) or if your “symptoms” are more alignment related from a mattress that is too soft in which case your options would be very limited because you can’t really make a mattress that is too soft any firmer without replacing the layers that are either too thick or too soft although there are a few options in post #4 here that may be helpful as a partial or temporary fix.

Post #2 here along with some of the posts it links to may give you some insights into what is happening and the underlying cause of your symptoms but based on that fact that your mattress is a luxury plush euro pillowtop it seems to me that your mattress is probably in the “too soft” range rather than the too firm range so a “fix” will be more difficult.

Phoenix

Hi Phoenix,

Thanks for your quick response. I feel a bit like Goldilocks - first bed was too hard, this one too soft :slight_smile:

Maybe I can try a topper, if I can find one with a return policy, before having to shop for another mattress. Or, I may just have to bite the bullet and try this again.

It’s a little frustrating, to be honest. I have traveled extensively in the last decade for my job, weeks in different hotels globally - and I never really thought about the mattress or pillows. They always all seemed to just work, and I had good sleep with no aches and pains. Obviously they were all different mattresses - but I wonder what these hotel mattresses have in common that I didn’t get right with my mattress purchase? It’s kind of sad when you start thinking about checking into a hotel just to get some pain-free sleep :wink:

Thanks again!

Hi bghouse,

Probably not a lot because there are a wide range of hotel mattresses. They would tend to be in a middle range though (not too soft and not too firm in either the comfort or support layers) so that they match a wider range of people “on average”. They often have a topper or bedding package as well that will change how the mattress feels and they tend to be in better condition than the mattresses most people sleep on at home (they aren’t used as much as a home mattress and are replaced more frequently). In many cases it’s the “anything is better than my mattress” syndrome if the mattress at home is not in good condition. Many people will find that purchasing a hotel mattress that they slept well on doesn’t translate very well into their experience at home even with the same mattress. You can read more about hotel mattresses in post #3 here.

I would also keep in mind that your experience may be from twisting something or straining a muscle because it came on so suddenly and it may be an idea to give it a little time before deciding what to do. Pain in your upper body or neck can also be connected to a pillow and it’s not uncommon at all for a new mattress to need a different pillow to maintain good alignment for the head and neck.

The previous link I posted has my thoughts about using a topper with a mattress that is too soft and some of the options that may be worth trying but if you are using a topper to add more softness to a mattress that is already too soft then I would make sure you have good return options available because the odds of a long term “fix” would be low.

Phoenix

Hi Phoenix,

Thanks again for the advice. I had already decided that I can’t do anything until the pain is truly gone, so that I can be sure I’m not fixing a temporary problem.

I’m managing at the moment, and getting better. So I’m thinking my next step once I feel better might be to find a good retailer around me, not the mass ones, and see if I can try mattresses again. Maybe a good retailer will help me really narrow in things a bit more.

Meanwhile, I’m reading all your great articles and trying to learn more - to hopefully not make this mistake again. One thing I find odd though is why manufacturers moved away from the mattress that you actually flipped. I mean, I guess i do understand - cheaper and wear out faster / more purchases - but still… Mattresses now days are so much different than they were before.

Too bad we can’t somehow tell the whole world to NOT buy a mattress until they read this site. Although, maybe I don’t want them to read this until after I find a new mattress and unload this one on craigslist :slight_smile:

Cheers

Hi bghouse,

Some of the better options or possibilities I’m aware of in the Seattle area are listed in post #2 here (just in case you haven’t seen it yet).

I think you understand the “why” very well … and I agree with you that mainstream mattresses aren’t as durable today as they were 10 or 15 years ago before the era of one sided mattresses and thick pillowtops that use lower quality materials and soften and break down much more quickly.

Here’s a suggested ad :slight_smile:

For Sale: one mattress that is too soft for me and probably uses lower quality materials in the comfort layers which may break down fairly quickly … but is made by Stearns & Foster which many people continue to believe is higher quality because of the name on the label. I hope you are one of them. PLEASE don’t read ANYTHING at The Mattress Underground before buying this because I need the money to buy a better mattress.

Phoenix

AWESOME!! lol. Thanks again for all the advice and your fantastic site!

If I could ask one more question, and please feel free to point me to another thread :slight_smile:

I’m trying to figure out more about what could be causing my pains - and understand more about pressure points versus posture alignment.

At this point, i still feel some aches in the morning. It is not in my back or my hips - but in my upper shoulders and neck area. Sometimes, like this morning, I wake with a “pins and needles” feeling in my arm. But mostly neck and shoulders now.

I’m sleeping on my back, which is not a position I’ve usually slept in. But my normal sort-of stomach position cause the horrible rib cage pains so I’ve been avoiding it.

As I start trying to figure this out again, I’ve been trying to think about the sinking down versus sinking in. It’s kind of hard to diagnose yourself when sleeping alone - lol.

I’ve gone through 5 different pillows so far, currently the best I’ve gotten is with a medium down pillow from Macy’s. I’ll probably have to keep looking at that also - because while the squish factor is great, my nose has started to stuff up again (always happens with down, sadly).

The pillow top on this mattress definitely “gives”, but it’s weird because I can also feel it kind of poking me - and I can feel every on of those little dips and bumps when trying to sleep.

Anyway, if there are any articles or threads talking about symptoms from pressure points versus alignment, or hard versus soft, etc. - something to help me try and logically figure this out.

Thanks!

@Phoenix - just wanted to follow up with a huge thank you for this site and all the resources it provides.

I just spent 5 hours in It’s Bedtime (Silverdale, WA) after seeing them on your list. I can say that the experience was wonderful - they were very knowledgeable.

We basically started from scratch and I tried everything - spring, memory foam, latex and hybrids. We also tried various mattress toppers across various mattresses.

I really appreciated that on each mattress they stood behind me to look at my spine alignment (since i don’t have eyes in the back of my head), and that they really didn’t try to just put my in one mattress - but made me try everything. The also didn’t immediately criticize my sleeping position (halfway between a stomach and side sleeper), and really listened to my feedback of what I was feeling both good and bad.

I’m so thankful I found your site - as I would have never even have let myself consider Latex before - and I ended up really liking the 45th Street Bedding Latex bed. I also tried the Pure Latex Bliss, but found myself too much “on top” of the bed and not feeling like it was letting my curves and muscles relax. And I reaffirmed that I just do not like Memory Foam - lol.

I ended up finding that their Woodlawn Plush worked the best for me, which says it is a 6" core 75lb 28ILD. So on the softer side it seems, but it didn’t fight my body or drop me down at weird angles. It just seemed to move out of the way where it needed to, and keep me feeling good. (I did accidentally fall asleep for about an hour - which I guess I needed - lol).

I was intrigued to learn that the 45th Street Bedding mattresses are double-sided. I’ll need to make friends with a strong neighbor for bed flipping.

Anyway - I just wanted to thank you again for all the great information, and also give a shout out to It’s Bedtime for a wonderful experience.

Hi bghouse,

Pins and needles sensations are usually caused by lack of circulation which is most often pressure points but could also be from joints that are not inside their “neutral” range of motion and are restricting blood flow (like arms and legs that fall asleep when they are in a stressed position for a longer period of time).

Post #2 here and the posts it links to may be helpful with the “detective work” that is often necessary to track down the source of any discomfort or pain you are having on a mattress. :slight_smile:

I wish it was easier but our bodies are very complex and individual it’s a lot like trying to “diagnose” a medical issue over the internet without being able to see someone in person.

Phoenix

Thanks again for replying. Yes, it definitely is an adventure. Makes me wonder how anyone can read a mattress review - lol.

I’m going to go back to It’s Bedtime tomorrow, and take another nice long lay on the mattress I like - just to be sure before I make the purchase. But I have to say I was amazed and would have never thought Latex would be what I liked. And I’m so glad I was able to read up on Latex so I had more of an idea why my reaction to PLB was so different from 45th Street Bedding.

I’ve been telling all my neighbors about your site and the great information :wink:

Cheers!