Hi ozmann,
The first place to start is the tutorial post here which has all the information, steps, and guidelines you will need to make the best possible choices … and avoid the worst ones. When you get to step 3 (and are ready to start testing mattresses) then if you let me know your city or zip I’d be happy to let you know of any of the better options or possibilities I’m aware of in your area. The tutorial post also has links to two lists that include some the online manufacturers or retailers that that are among the better online options if you are comfortable with an online purchase and you know the types of materials or mattress each of you prefer.
You can see some of my thoughts about airbeds in this article and your new wife’s complaints are not unusual.
There are too many variables, unknowns, and preferences involved to use any kind of “formula” or “theory at a distance” for anyone to be able to predict or know with any certainty what specific mattress will work best for someone else (see mattress firmness/comfort levels in post #2 here) so most of the information here will be about “how” to find your best options rather than what to specifically buy (which only you can decide). As “urgent” as your situation may be … making decisions too quickly under the pressure of the circumstances could easily make your situation even worse.
There is also more information about various ways that can help accommodate the different needs of a couple with different body types or sleeping styles in the first part of post #2 here but a good retailer or manufacturer will be knowledgeable about these types of challenges and the knowledge and experience of the retailer or manufacturer you deal with can be one of the most important parts of a successful mattress purchase.
The adjustable bed thread here also has more information and some good sources or reference points for “value” that will be helpful in deciding on an adjustable bed. I would keep in mind that an adjustable bed is more of a commodity and doesn’t have to be purchased as a “set” with any particular mattress. They all perform similar functions and can be purchased separately from the mattress. The mattress will be the most important part of your purchase.
I would also make sure that the two of you go together when you test mattresses locally because each person’s needs and preferences in terms of PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and Personal preferences) are unique and a couple should always test mattresses together to make sure that the mattress works well for both of them when they sleep together (which can be very different from how a mattress feels for an individual person).
Phoenix