Hi ti9doubleger,
There is more about the different ways to choose the most suitable mattress (locally and online) that can help you assess and minimize the risks involved in making a choice that isn’t as suitable for you as you hoped for with each of them in post #2 here.
There is also more information in the first part of post #2 here about some of the different ways that can help accommodate a couple that have different needs and preferences but when you can’t test a mattress in person then the most reliable source of guidance is always a more detailed phone conversation with a knowledgeable and experienced retailer or manufacturer that has your best interests at heart and who can help “talk you through” the specific options they have available based on the information you provide them, any local testing you have done, and the “averages” of other customers that are similar to you. They will know more about “matching” their specific mattress designs to different body types, sleeping positions, and preferences than anyone else.
Phoenix