Help! After trying 4 mattresses, what now?

I was having lower back pain and one day it got so bad I couldn’t stand up. It was worst upon waking. I went to physical therapy and was told that it was instability due to weak core muscles. I got treatment and exercises.

But I also wanted to replace our mattress, as it was 10 years old and sagging. I had never spent more than just a few hundred dollars on a mattress, and always got Sealy Posturpedic, firm. So I went to Mattress Firm and got a Sealy firm that was lined up against the wall, $600 for a king, mattress only. It was way too firm and caused me terrible pain. I figured it wasn’t the mattress as much as my back that was to be blamed.

Then I happened to rent a beach condo. The bed was extremely soft and I thought it would result in a great deal of pain, since I thought firm was best. However, I woke up feeling great. I checked out the mattress and saw that it was a Sleep to Live. Apparently you go to their showroom and they have a special set up where they take measurements while you are lying on a special bed. Then they tell you which models will work for you. Unfortunately, they are nowhere near me (Austin), and their mattresses cost $2700. But they are memory foam (and possible latex?), so I thought I’d look into memory foam.

So maybe the mattress makes the difference.

So, I returned the Sealy and found a Tempurpedic Contour Elite on Craig’s List for $600. It turned out to be way too firm (extra firm), and my husband absolutely hated the memory foam.

I started reading online and learned that firm is not necessarily the best for bad backs. You need to be able to sink your shoulders and hips in (sleeping on side) to keep your spine straight. (I sleep back and side as well as on my back). So medium or medium firm might be best.

Then I went to Factory Mattress and found a Sealy cushion firm for about $700. It turned out to be way too soft, We sunk right into it.

Then I found this site. I decided maybe a latex over coils was the way to go, and that Denver Mattress and Urban Mattress was where I’d try. Denver Mattress had 2: The Telluride had a floor model for $1200 and the higher grade Aspen would be the full price of $1900. The Telluride was a medium and the Aspen a bit firmer. Both have the coils that alternate rotating in different directions, but the Aspen uses Dunlop instead of Tallalay latex. We liked the feel of the Aspen better but thought we’d try the Telluride first since it was already much more expensive than we were expecting to pay for a mattress. It is returnable.

With the Denver Telluride, I no longer have lower back pain, but I have mid-to-upper back pain. At first I couldn’t sleep on it (insomnia) but that’s gone away. Somewhere along the way a salesperson had told me that was usually caused by too much pillow, so I tried sleeping with minimal pillow thickness, which may have heloed, but only a bit.

So now I don’t know what to do. I have found that trying the mattresses out in the showroom, even spending a lot of time simulating sleep, doesn’t predict how sleeping on it overnight will turn out, which is why I’m on my 4th mattress. We could upgrade to the Aspen, which means we would be spending $1900 plus foundation, much more than we planned. I could just live with what I have. I also wonder if a regular coiled mattress would work - if I found the right one.

Thanks for any advice.

Thanks,
Nina

Hi nina__online,

I think that the best suggestion I can make would be to “reset” how you are looking for a mattress.

The first place I would start your research is the mattress shopping tutorial here which includes all the basic information, steps, and guidelines that can help you with how to make the best possible choices … and perhaps more importantly know how and why to avoid the worst ones (including the major brands along with any mattress such as the Sleep To Live mattresses that either can’t or won’t provide you with the information you need about the quality and durability of the materials in their mattresses that you would need to make an informed choice).

Two of the most important links in the tutorial that I would especially make sure you read are post #2 here which has more about the different ways to choose a suitable mattress (either locally or online) that is the best “match” for you in terms of “comfort” and PPP that can help you assess and minimize the risks of making a choice that doesn’t turn out as well as you hoped for and post #13 here which has more about the most important parts of the “value” of a mattress purchase which can help you make more meaningful quality/value comparisons between mattresses in terms of suitability (how well you will sleep), durability (how long you will sleep well), and the overall value of a mattress compared to your other finalists (based on all the parts of your personal value equation that are most important to you).

There is more about the bed match system in this topic and you can read a little more about pressure mapping systems in post #2 here and post #4 here. While they can be helpful … I would be cautious about overemphasizing their importance compared to what your body tells you and using the testing guidelines in the tutorial because they can help more for pressure testing than spinal alignment (pressure relief is not the same as spinal alignment and a mattress that does a great job relieving pressure is not necessarily the best choice in terms of alignment).

The “best” mattress is a mattress that relieves pressure and that keeps your spine and joints in neutral alignment over the course of the night. Each person is unique however so a mattress that works well for one person may be completely unsuitable for someone else to sleep on.

I don’t have any specific suggestions or recommendations because the first “rule” of mattress shopping is to always remember that you are the only one that can feel what you feel on a mattress and there are too many unknowns, variables, and personal preferences involved that are unique to each person to use a formula or for anyone to be able to predict or make a specific suggestion or recommendation about which mattress or combination of materials and components or which type of mattress would be the best “match” for you in terms of “comfort” or PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and Personal preferences) or how a mattress will “feel” to you or compare to another mattress based on specs (either yours or a mattress) or “theory at a distance” that can possibly be more accurate than your own careful testing (hopefully using the testing guidelines in step 4 of the tutorial) or if you can’t test a mattress in person then your own personal sleeping experience (see mattress firmness/comfort levels in post #2 here).

The issues you are facing may have less to do with the mattresses and more to do with your back issues so there may not be a perfect solution until your back issues have been dealt with and healed and “best possible” may be the most realistic goal.

There is more detailed information about the most common symptoms that people may experience when they sleep on a mattress and the most likely (although not the only) reasons for them in post #2 here.

There is also more about primary or “deep” support and secondary or “surface” support and their relationship to firmness and pressure relief and the “roles” of different layers in a mattress in post #2 here and in post #4 here that may also be helpful in clarifying the difference between “support” and “pressure relief” and “feel”. As you can see a mattress that has softer comfort layers and provides better pressure relief can also be “more” supportive in terms of providing good alignment as well because it can still have a firmer support core to provide primary support and the softer comfort layers can provide better secondary support under the more recessed parts of your sleeping profile along with better pressure relief.

These posts are the “tools” that can help with the analysis, detective work, or trial and error that may be necessary to help you learn your body’s language and “translate” what your body is trying to tell you so you can make the types of changes or additions to your mattress that have the best chance of reducing or eliminating any “symptoms” you are experiencing out of the options that are available to you.

While careful testing with a local purchase can have very high odds of success … for those that are making an online choice that they can’t test before a purchase, have a history of choosing mattresses that are unsuitable for them even if they have tested them, have body types or health considerations that are more challenging and make choosing the most suitable mattress more difficult, or that for whatever reason are more uncertain about whether their choice is “right” for them … then the options you have available after a purchase to fine tune the comfort or support of the mattress or to exchange or return the mattress or individual layers can become a much more important part of each person’s personal value equation. Of course the other side of this is that exchange or return options are built in to the cost of a mattress so they can add to the cost of a mattress and the majority of people who don’t return or exchange a mattress or a layer are the ones who pay for the minority of people who do.

In many cases the knowledge and guidance of the retailer or manufacturer you buy from can also be one of the most important parts of the “value” of a mattress purchase.

The tutorial includes several lists to links of the better online options I’m aware of (in the optional online step) and may of these have great return or exchange policies and if you let me know your city or zip code I’d be happy to let you know about the better options or possibilities that I’m aware of that are close to you as well.

Phoenix

Hi Nina,
I’m not much help for recommendations but if it’s any consolation, I know what you are going through.
I find on a soft mattress, I get lower back pain because it sags in too much at the heaviest part of the body, the hips, and causes a hammock affect, putting a curve in my lower back. This curve translates into pressure on one or two vertebral disks all night long, and, in me, those are disks that already have some damage and so are sensitive to the bad position. With a firm mattress, I get the upper back pain because the mattress doesn’t allow my shoulders to sink in and it creates a curve in the upper back right between the shoulders, causing the same issue. The trick is finding a mattress that keeps the whole spine in a neutral position and is soft enough on the surface to be comfortable. I liked latex at first because it does this but over time I have found latex doesn’t agree with me, the jiggly feeling of it makes my muscles tense up during the night and I wake up sore. So I am planning to go back to a pocketed coil mattress. I, too, realized it is worth a change after a good nights’ sleep on a hotel bed.
I don’t know why they don’t put softer coils at the shoulder/head level. It seems like a no-brainer.

Hi SleepDeprived,

Various zoning systems can be very useful and worth considering for people who have more challenging circumstances or sensitivities, body types that are more difficult to “match” to a mattress, or who have a history of having more difficulty in finding a mattress that works well for them. It’s not that unusual to find zoned innersprings (including pocket coils) or other types of zoned support cores (such as latex) as well that have a softer zone under the shoulders. There is more about zoning in this article and in post #11 here.

Phoenix