Help Finding the Illusive Perfect Mattress for Couples.

Discussions General Mattresses Questions
1

I’m here trying to find a mattress that will suit both my mother and father. I’ll start off by saying that I’ve read through the mattress buying tutorial and have read through most of the links provided within it as well. I’ve learned a lot but am still a little overwhelmed with trying to help my parents.

Here’s a little background…

We live in St. Louis

Mom
54 years old
5’4"
120 lbs
side sleeper
multiple hip replacements

Dad
58 years old
5’10"
185 lbs
back/side sleeper
occasional back pain

They’ve had a Sealy Posturpedic Hybrid Majesty for the past few years (very plush). My dad says he really likes it and gets a good night sleep. My mom doesn’t really like it and doesn’t get more than a couple hours of sleep per night. It causes her hip, back, shoulder pain.

Things recently reached a boiling point so I decided to take them mattress shopping (before I found this site). We went mattress shopping at The Bedroom Store, which I now know is owned by Boyd Specialty Sleep, or at least strongly affiliated. We started off trying airbeds because I thought it would be good for individualized comfort, but after talking to the salesmen for a while he thought my parents would be better off with memory foam because of it’s pressure relieving qualities which my mother needed. After testing some mattress we settled on the Thomasville Momentum III (which I now know is strongly affiliated with Boyd Specialty Sleep).

They’ve now had the Momentum III for a few weeks and my mom says she sleeps pretty much pain free now (a little in her shoulder). However my dad says he can’t sleep at all, he can’t describe and discomfort, or pain, but he can’t relax and that the mattress feels firm and that it’s as if the mattress stimulates him so he can’t get any sleep. Because of this, he decided to bring out the old Sealy Posturpedic and now the Thomasville Momentum is just sitting on the floor until they can return it. So now we’re back to square one, mom can’t sleep.

I’m very confused by my mom and dad’s different PPPs.

I would think my dad would like a slightly firmer mattress because of his higher weight and the fact that he is back and side sleeper, but he likes the ultra plush Sealy Hybrid, it says it has memory foam but it feels very light and airy.

I would think my mom would like a very plush mattress because she is a side sleeper and is very light, but she prefers the more dense feeling Momentum III.

Any thoughts on this predicament?

2

Hi GJL3,

It’s not unusual at all for a couple to have different needs and preferences and here is more information in the first part of post #2 here about some of the different ways that can be used to accommodate a couple that have very different body types or sleeping styles or different needs and preferences in a mattress. Of course the only way to know whether any specific mattress will be suitable for both of them will be based on their own careful testing or their own personal experience.

Subject to confirming that any retailer or manufacturer on the list you wish to deal with is completely transparent about the materials and components in their mattresses (see this article) and to making sure that any mattress you are considering meets the quality/value guidelines here … the better options or possibilities I’m aware of in and around the St Louis area are listed in post #6 here.

In its simplest form choosing the “best possible” mattress for any particular person really comes down to FIRST finding a few knowledgeable and transparent retailers and/or manufacturers (either locally or online) that sell the types of mattresses that you are most interested in that are in a budget range you are comfortable with and that you have confirmed will provide you with the all the information you need about the materials and components inside the mattresses they sell so you will be able to make informed choices and meaningful comparisons between mattresses and then …

  1. Careful testing (hopefully using the testing guidelines in the tutorial) to make sure that a mattress is a good match for you in terms of “comfort”, firmness, and PPP … and/or that you are comfortable with the options you have available to return, exchange, or “fine tune” the mattress and any costs involved if you can’t test a mattress in person or aren’t confident that your mattress is a suitable choice.

  2. Checking to make sure that there are no lower quality materials or weak links in a mattress you are considering relative to your weight range that could compromise the durability and useful life of the mattress.

  3. Comparing your finalists for “value” based on #1 and #2 and all the other parts of your personal value equation that are most important to you.

Phoenix