Hi spinalfusion,
The first place I would start is post #1 here. This has all the information, steps, and guidelines you will need to make the best possible choices and answer most of your questions.
Because of all the variables that are involved (body type, sleeping style, preferences, sensitivities, and physiology) It’s not really possible for someone else to choose a mattress for you with any certainty without much more specific information and reference points from your local testing and/or a more in depth phone call and going by online reviews written by people that may have very different needs and preferences from you or know little about mattresses is also not a great way to choose a mattress (see more in post #13 here). Unfortunately there are no shortcuts but at least the information here can save you many hours of research and frustration and eliminate most of the time consuming mistakes. It will help you with “how” to choose rather than “what” to choose which only you can decide based on your own personal value equation.
Once you get to step 3 … if you let me know your city or zip I’d be happy to let you know of any options or possibilities that are near you that I’m aware of.
Phoenix