I bought the Wrong Mattress - Please Help!

phoenix · November 22, 2014, 12:55am

Hi swesson,

I’m sorry to hear your choice didn’t work out as well as you hoped for .

While I can’t offer you specific advice because there are too many unknowns and variables involved in knowing which mattress or mattress design would be best for you based on specs (either yours or a mattress) or theory at a distance (see mattress firmness/comfort levels in post #2 here) … I can hopefully provide some information that can help you make a more informed choice about what to do next and the risk involved with each option you have.

First of all I’ll make some more general comments in this post about the different ways to choose a mattress or choose options that are the most suitable choice and the level of risk that is involved with each one. In the next post I’ll “translate” some of this into some suggestions that may be helpful for your specific situation.

There are three main parts to the value of a mattress purchase which are (in order of importance) 1. Suitability and how well you will sleep on a mattress, 2. Durability and how long you will sleep well, and 3. Value which is a combination of #1 and #2 along with all the other parts of your personal value equation that are most important to you. (see post #13 here)

In your case you did well based on #2 because your mattress uses high quality and durable materials and there are no weak links in its design but without #1 (suitability and PPP) there is little value to a mattress purchase regardless of its durability (#2) or its value (#3) based on price or any of the other parts of value that are important to you.

Since suitability and PPP is the most important part of any mattress purchase … it’s important to recognize that this is the part of “value” that only you can know based on your own actual sleeping experience and that every method you choose to predict this will have some level of risk involved and that the risks involved in some are higher than the risks involved in others.

The most effective way to predict whether a specific mattress will be a suitable “match” for you before a purchase is based on your own careful and objective testing (hopefully using the testing guidelines in the mattress shopping tutorial). If this is done carefully enough then in most cases it will be “close enough” to your actual sleeping experience that only relatively minor fine tuning will be necessary if any is necessary at all. These could include the type of mattress protector you use, adding a mattress pad, the type of sheets and bedding that you choose, or in some cases even exchanging a layer in the mattress (if your mattress is a component mattress) or adding a topper … see post #4 here).

There are some people though that are much closer to the “princess and the pea” end of the sensitivity scale than they are to the “I can sleep on anything” end of the scale and because of this or because they have a more challenging physiology or health conditions that can make choosing a suitable mattress more difficult or because of a history of choosing a mattress that isn’t the best match for them they may not be as confident that even careful testing will be able to predict whether they will sleep well on a mattress. In this case then the options you have after a purchase would become a more important part of your purchase decision so that you have the ability to make changes to your mattress either by changing individual layers or exchanging the mattress or even having the option to return the mattress for a refund after a purchase. While careful testing can do a very good job of predicting how well someone will sleep on a mattress for most people … there will always be a minority that for various reasons have a more difficult time deciding on which mattress is best for them. I would also be aware that careful and objective testing is very different from the more limited or more “subjective” testing that most people do when they choose a mattress based on “showroom feel” which can have a lower chance of success than random chance alone (see this study)

When you aren’t able to test a specific mattress in person before a purchase then there are only three remaining ways to predict whether a specific mattress would be a reasonable match for you in terms of PPP. They are …

Basing your choice on a more detailed conversation on the phone with a knowledgeable and experienced online manufacturer or retailer that has your best interests at heart and can help “talk you through” the options they have available and help you choose the mattress that has the best chance of success based on the information you provide them and the “averages” of other customers that are similar to you.
Basing your choice on reviews or other people’s experience on a mattress. I would also be very cautious about using someone else’s experience on any mattress or mattress reviews (either positive or negative) as a meaningful source of guidance about how a mattress will feel for you because firmness and softness is very subjective and relative to different people (a mattress that feels firm for one person can feel soft for someone else) and each person can be very different. There are also different types of firmness and softness that different people may be more or less sensitive to (see post #15 here) and a mattress that is a “perfect” match for one person in terms of PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, or Personal preferences) may be completely unsuitable for someone else to sleep on … even if they are in similar weight ranges. Using other people’s mattress reviews or experiences as a meaningful source of research and information can often be more misleading than helpful (see post #13 here).
Basing your choice on “theory” or on trying to match the specs of similar mattresses with similar designs and materials that you have either slept on in the past and done well with or that you have tested locally and believe would work well for you.

The difficulty with #3 is that you may not have access to all the information you need to be able to “match” one mattress to another one including the type and quality of all the layers and components, the thickness of all the layers, and all the other “quality specs” or “comfort specs” for every layer and component as well (such as the firmness/softness of every layer). While testing similar mattresses may give you a good sense of whether you tend to prefer certain types or categories of mattresses in general … every mattress category can include many hundreds of different mattresses that can be very different from each other in terms of feel, pressure relief, and support, and you may sleep very well on one or even several and may not sleep nearly as well at all on many others that to a consumer would only seem to have minor differences in their design.

There is more about the different ways that one mattress can “match” another one in post #9 here but every difference between two mattresses can have a surprising effect that can either be cumulative or can offset each other. This means that a mattress that has say a slightly different cover or quilting material may feel very similar to another mattress that outside of the small difference in the cover is exactly the same. If the difference is more than just minor though or if there are more differences between them than just a small difference in the cover (or some other very small difference) then how they compare can be much more difficult to predict. For example one mattress may have an extra inch in the comfort layers which are otherwise the same which could make it noticeably softer and may also have a quilted cover that makes it feel firmer so these two differences may offset each other and for some people the two mattresses may feel very similar (although to others they may still feel different). In another case one mattress may have a softer or more stretchy cover and also have an extra inch in the comfort layer and while neither one of these by itself may be enough for a particular person to notice a significant difference in how well they would sleep on either mattress … the two together may make enough of a cumulative difference that one mattress may be a good match or them and the other one wouldn’t. All of this is as much an art as a science.

While you usually won’t find an mattress that is “equivalent” to a mattress you have tested locally made by a different manufacturer that is available online … in some cases the “art and science” of approximating a mattress has already been done to a large extent and an online manufacturer or retailer may have already “matched” their mattresses to a specific mattress that is available locally and included which mattress it “approximates” in their description. In other cases they may be aware that one of their mattresses is a close approximation to another mattress based on their own personal experience even if it isn’t in the mattress description so if the mattress it approximates is available locally then this would give you a chance to test a specific local mattress that was a reasonably close approximation to a mattress you are considering online. This is different from trying to match a local mattress that they may not be familiar with or where all the layers and materials aren’t the same as a specific mattress that they offer because once again, every difference between two mattresses can either have a cumulative effect or an offsetting effect that is very difficult for even a knowledgeable and experienced online manufacturer or retailer to predict without personal experience on both mattresses, especially with only limited or incomplete information about all the specs of a local mattress you have tested.

Because of the uncertainty involved in “mattress matching” … unless a mattress you have tested or slept on is exactly the same in every way as a mattress that you are considering online (in effect it is the same mattress) … it can be surprising to many people how different they can feel (especially when most people only pay attention only to the ILD numbers of the foam layers and not to all the other specs or components that can make a significant difference in how a mattress feels and performs). In this case where the risk or the level of uncertainty is higher … the options you have after a purchase to make changes to the mattress (either by rearranging or exchanging layers, exchanging the mattress itself, or returning the mattress for a refund and starting all over again with the insights you have gained from the “wrong” choices) can be a much more important part of a purchase. Again … this is especially true for those that are more sensitive and have a narrower “range” for a mattress that will work well or them.

If you don’t have a “target” mattress that you are trying to approximate that a manufacturer or retailer is specifically familiar with or without a specific mattress that a manufacturer is using as a reference point that you can test locally … then the only way to choose is based on a more detailed conversation with an online manufacturer or retailer who can help to guide you and choose which of the options they have available that they believe (based on their knowledge and experience and “best judgement”) would have the most likely chance of success in terms of PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and Personal preferences) based on the information you provide them and the “averages” of others that seem to be similar to you. Again though … there are always people who don’t fit the averages of other people and where their choice doesn’t work out as well as both you and the retailer/manufacturer hoped for so in these cases as well the options you have after a purchase to either rearrange or exchange layers, exchange the mattress, or return the mattress for a refund are the only way to offset the risk that you will be in the minority that chooses a mattress that isn’t as suitable for you as you and the retailer/manufacturer hoped for.

In very general terms … while there are no “guarantees” of success with any of these methods … I would rate the effectiveness and risk of each method in the following order …

The most reliable and “accurate” method is generally your own careful and objective personal testing on a specific mattress you are considering as a purchase.
The next most reliable method would be local testing on a reference mattress that a manufacturer or retailer is confident is a close approximation of a mattress they offer based on their own experience and the feedback from a wide range of customers.
The next most reliable method would be a more detailed conversation with a knowledgeable and experienced online retailer or manufacturer that includes good information about your body type, sleeping style, general preferences and history, some general information about local mattresses you have tested and done well with, and any other specific information or circumstances that could affect your choice of a mattress. The better the information you can provide them the more you can help them to help you make the best possible choice based on “averages”. The “target” for these types of choices is your own specific needs and preferences rather than a particular mattress.
A much less reliable method would be a consumer that is trying to “match” a mattress with another mattress that is available online based on “specs” without the specific guidance of an online manufacturer or retailer that is familiar with your reference mattress. The reason this is less reliable than #3 is because in most cases what a consumer “thinks they need” is often different from “what they really need” and the guidance of a knowledgeable and experienced online retailer or manufacturer will usually be more focused on “what they really need”. In addition to this … most consumers don’t have access to all the information they would need about either the mattress they are using as a reference point or the online mattress they are considering to make a meaningful comparison and even if they did (which would be rare) most consumers wouldn’t have the knowledge or experience to be able to “translate” how the many seemingly small differences between two mattresses may either accumulate or offset each other and “feel” in real life. Most consumers tend to rely only on the ILD of the layers or other more basic specs which by themselves can be very misleading and inaccurate. The “target” with these types of choices is generally how closely a consumer believes one mattress will match another one which is often very inaccurate.
Another much less reliable method of choosing a mattress is using other peoples experiences or reviews on a mattress as an indication of how the same mattress will feel or perform for you.
Finally the least reliable method would be local testing in a showroom that only spends a few minutes testing for the more subjective or “showroom feel” of a mattress (or in some cases doesn’t even lie down on the mattress at all) which can have lower odds of success than random chance alone.

Again … all of these have a different probability of success and a different level of risk based on the method of choosing and on the sensitivity of the person so the “insurance” of having good options after a purchase becomes more important as the risk rises with each method or for people whose history or sensitivity indicates that they may have a narrower range of mattresses that would be suitable for them and are more likely to make a “mistake”.