Hi Lisaj950,
It may be worth rotating the mattress to see if your husbands side is any softer than yours because his side will “break in” a little more quickly than yours because of his higher weight.
I would be very cautious about using other people’s reviews or experiences on a topper (either positive or negative) as a reliable source of information or guidance about how suitable or how soft or firm it may feel to you and in many cases they can be more misleading than helpful because a topper that would be a perfect choice for one person may be completely unsuitable for someone else to sleep on or vice versa (see post #13 here).
There is also no “standard” definition or consensus of opinion for firmness ratings and different people can also have very different perceptions of firmness and softness compared to others as well and a topper that feels firm for one person can feel like “medium” for someone else or even “soft” for someone else depending on their body type, sleeping style, physiology, their frame of reference based on what they are used to, their individual sensitivity and perceptions, and the specific mattress they are using it on (which will have a significant effect on how firm or soft a topper feels as well). This is all relative and is as much an art as a science. There are also different types of firmness and softness that different people may be sensitive to that can affect how they “rate” a topper (see post #15 here).
When you can’t test a mattress/topper combination in person then the most reliable source of guidance is always a more detailed conversation with a knowledgeable and experienced retailer or manufacturer that has your best interests at heart and who can help “talk you through” the specific options they have available based on the information you provide them about you and your mattress, any local testing you have done, and the “averages” of other customers that are similar to you. They will know more about “matching” their specific toppers to different body types, sleeping positions, and preferences than anyone else.
Post #2 here and the posts it links to also have some suggestions that can help you use your sleeping experience as a reference point and guideline to choose a topper that would have the least risk and the best chance of success.
Phoenix