Hi KJHB,
While only your own experience can really know for certain whether a particular combination is a good “match” for you because of all the unknowns and variables involved … there is more about the most common “symptoms” that people may experience on a mattress and some of the most likely reasons for them in post #2 here and the posts it links to.
Lower back pain is most commonly a result of a mattress that is too soft and is allowing your hips/pelvis to sink in too deeply. Hip pain is most commonly a pressure point issue coming from a sleeping surface that is too firm but it can also be caused by a mattress that is too soft where your hips are outside of their “neutral” range of motion.
There is also more about primary or “deep” support and secondary or “surface” support and their relationship to firmness and pressure relief and the “roles” of different layers in a mattress (or a mattress/topper combination) in post #2 here and in post #4 here that may also be helpful in clarifying the difference between “support” and “pressure relief” and “feel”.
If I had to guess (which is really all I can do) I would say that overall your mattress may need a little firmer support to help with spinal and hip alignment when you are sleeping.
There are a couple of combinations that may be worth trying before exchanging a layer to see how they affect your sleeping experience.
1… I would try sleeping on your husband’s side for a few nights (with the 19, 28, 36) to see how it affects your symptoms. While it may not “feel” good at first … feel is very subjective and it would be valuable to now how it affects your specific symptoms in terms of pressure relief and alignment regardless of how it “feels” at first.
- It may also be worth trying just the single 3" layer of 19 ILD on top of your medium 6" core without putting the 28 ILD on the bottom. Since this combination with the 28 on the bottom seemed to help somewhat … removing the 28 ILD layer may be enough to firm up the support a little more and this would also be well worth trying for a few nights even though your cover will be loose.
Your husband is also right that when you are making changes to a mattress you need to give your body enough time to “catch up” to the changes you are making and to be able to identify a pattern in your experience rather than just the results of just a night or two which can be an anomaly or even the result of change itself.
Phoenix