Hi Ms. Natural.
I am sorry that the mattress from OMF (in both firmness choices soft and extra firm) did not work out for you and it sounds like the medium may have been a better firmness choice for you. You seem to be going in the right direction by adding some softness, “comfort” and pressure relief to your sleeping system with a good quality topper but the only way to know for certain whether a specific mattress/topper combination is a good “match” for both of you in terms of comfort, firmness, and PPP is based on your own careful testing or personal experience on the combination. If you can’t test the combination in person then there will always be always some risk and uncertainty involved in adding a topper because the specifics of the mattress itself along with your own body type, sleeping position, and preferences can affect which specific topper would be a suitable choice on any specific mattress.
From your brief description, it seems that the comfort layers (mattress topper combo) are still too firm and result in the pressure point symptoms that you indicated (numbness, tingling, discomfort in the area where your body makes the firmest contact with the mattress like your hips and shoulders). While this typically can be addressed by looking for softer/thicker comfort layers there are still many variables that can contribute to your symptoms. You did not mention how long you allowed for the mattress to break in and for your body to adjust to the new sleeping surface or another thing to consider when you have a new mattress is that while one pillow may fit you well on a previous mattress as a side sleeper, it may be inappropriate on a new mattress. The thickness of the pillow should vary with the amount that your shoulder sinks into the mattress. You must make sure to reassess your pillow with each mattress you try.
It is not possible to “diagnose” any symptoms you have on an online forum based on the limited information that you provided as this is usually needs a more in-depth analysis that involves you doing some detective work. Unfortunately, there are far too many unknowns, variables, and different possibilities involved to be able to pinpoint or make any specific suggestions based on specs (either yours or a mattress) or “theory at a distance”
Shoulder and arm issues typically come from a mattress that is too firm and puts direct pressure on the shoulders, the shoulder blades, or on the back muscles and can also cause soreness or numbness and tingling in the arms or can often come from postural issues as well. If the mattress is too firm then if you sleep on your side your shoulders may not sink in enough to relieve pressure and your upper body can also “twist” away from the pressure. There is some much more detailed information on the shoulder and arm issues in posts #2 and #3 here There is a bit more information about sleeping positions and posture this in this article here . There is also more information in post #2 here that talks about the various symptoms that people may experience on a mattress and some of the reasons that can cause them that can help with the detective work or trial and error that may be necessary to identify the types of changes that may be helpful.
There is more information about choosing a topper and a link to the better online sources I’m aware of in post #2 hereand the topper guidelines it links to which along with a conversation with a reliable and knowledgeable supplier (that can provide you with good information about how their toppers compare to each other or to other toppers they are familiar with that are available on the market) can help you use your sleeping experience as a reference point and guideline to help you choose the type, thickness, and firmness for a topper that has the least possible risk and the best chance for success. A good exchange/return policy can also reduce the risk of an online topper purchase so I would make sure you are comfortable with the options you have available after a purchase just in case the topper you choose doesn’t turn out as well as you hoped for.
I hope this gives you the information you need to find something suitable.
Phoenix