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[phoenix]

Hi downlover,

Welcome to the Mattress Forum!

Hiya! I have a long history of chronic illness, and I suffer from what some of us call “the princess and the pea syndrome.” What that means is that even just a wrinkle in the sheet under a knee will have me limping half the day or longer.

I’m sorry to hear that you have these health issues and are so sensitive to different comforts. I know that can be difficult.

I’ve been researching for a couple of months, watching reviews, reading what I can, and trying to discover what would be the best bed for me. Thank you for this site, it’s super informative, and I love the nuance in all of your descriptions and responses. <3

I’m glad you like the information presented here. With such a specific health issue, I would advise you to test out items in person for the best results of “what is best for me”, as descriptors of products, while well intentioned, are generalizations and there are no overall “comfort scales” that are definitive, nor would it even be possible for such a scale to exist, as there are far too many individual variables involved (as you yourself already know with your specific health issues) to predict an overall level of comfort that would be applicable to everyone.

I know I need/want soft. My best sleeping experience ever was an S bed with a down pillowtop.

While I don’t generally recommend purchasing a new product and topper together unless there is a specific reason (as you’re mixing two variables at the same time), in your case, because of the specifics involved, it certainly may be that whatever you choose, you will respond best to a down layer on top of the item. When you suffer from chronic illnesses, if you find some sort of an application that works best for you, it is often the best that you stick with it. But you should always attempt to first find a product that best sits your needs without the use of a topper.

I decided I wanted to try what the Brooklyn Bedding had to offer, since they had a soft option, and I like the materials, but this is killing me. I think today is my last day before I can ask for a return, and I’m asking for a return. I am just not sure how the bed I got is classified as soft in any way at all. Maybe I haven’t broken it in well enough yet?

If you’ve kept the product for the entire 120-night trial, then it would have already experienced quite a bit of “breaking in” and loss of “false firmness”. While all foams soften over time and lose a percentage of their resilience and support factor, the most dramatic change is normally within the first 6 months. As far as labelling this bed as “soft” you can refer back to my earlier comments about generic terms for rating mattresses in overall categories of comfort. This product would certainly be called “soft” by most people, but because of your unique situation, for you that may not be the case. But just because it isn’t “soft enough” for you doesn’t mean that it isn’t for the majority of people, which is what mattress companies need to consider when they create different levels of comfort. Which is another reason that your own personal careful testing will be the most accurate indicator of your happiness. Did you try this mattress with your down comforter?

I definitely love the coolness of the bed, if nothing else.

The latex used on top of this product is very breathable.

I’m just kind of frozen, though, because it’s likely that whatever other bed I get will cause me pain during its break-in period.

Without testing out a product in person you won’t know for sure, as the initial level of comfort will be different for every completed mattress. All foams, even latex, will soften a bit as they are used. This is another reason I would suggest for you to try and test out mattress as much as possible in person.

My plan b was to try a cheaper option and add a down topper, myself. I looked at the Arctic Bed and some of the UD beds, but, tbh, I’m not real happy about my experience w/ BB and, from what I understand, it’s the same company behind AD/UD, so…not really sure I want to try to deal with them again. (My issues with them lie in their customer service, ie, trying to find out what material the microfiber sheets were made of. “microfiber.” yes, yes…anyway, had several experiences with them like this and am not happy (the answer is polyester, btw)

I’m not sure that going to a more basic foam mattress and adding a topper would be your best course of action, as again you’re mixing two variables and expecting the comfort to be achieved by their combination, as opposed to trying to find the best solution in a mattress alone. The Arctic Dreams is offered in three comfort designations, and the “softest” of these isn’t as plush as the soft option of the Best Mattress Ever (BME), so picking a mattress that you already know won’t be soft enough for you and then relying upon the unknown variable of how it will potentially work with the down topper is not a course that I normally recommend. You should try and find a product that is “close enough” to what you need by itself, so that in case any tweaks need to be applied, they can be done quite easily with something like a more simple change in mattress pad or the addition of a topper. But I wouldn’t consider purchasing something that you know right off the bat will need a topper to make it comfortable for you.

As far as the construction of the sheets you mentioned, it’s stated on the page for their sheets in the first sentence that they’re made out of Rayon. They use bamboo for the viscose dope, which results in a “softer hand” in the feel of the sheets. Microfiber just refers to the size of the fiber being smaller than a silk strand (one denier).

I have 2 emails that I sent to them that were never answered. And the attitude I got from chat was to basically suck it up, which, I get, but it seems like if someone’s in a trial period, you might want to reassure them that others have had the same issues and it’s gotten better, or that maybe I should try something else, , just anything besides the canned ‘there is a break-in period’ (i knoww)).

I always recommend that you place a phone call to any manufacturer when you have specific questions about a product, as it’s the best way to get detailed and specific answers, and to place follow up questions, especially when you have a specific situation such as yours. While some responses may seem “canned” when you chat online with companies, it doesn’t make them any less true (there certainly is a break-in time with any product). But with a phone call a representative can get a much better feel for your situation and you can each relate in “real-time” (and not have to interpret or attempt to infer anything from a typed response) and also get a better feel for the accuracy and applicability of the information you’re being provided to your specific request. Even if a company has thousands of instances where people successfully adjust to an item over time (Brooklyn Bedding certainly does), there would be no way to “reassure” you that this would indeed be the result for you. This is one of the myriad of reasons that other people’s reviews are one of the least reliable methods for choosing a mattress. It is of course your own personal experience and situation that is the most important thing.

Other beds I’ve been interested in are the Helix and the Novosbed, since they haft soft options. (though I’ve seen a lot of people say that the novosbed’s soft isn’t so soft, and well, I’m doing that movie right now, and am in agony and unable to leave my house).

Almost every brand will have a “soft” option in their lineup. The Novosbed is more of a traditional “memory foam style” of mattress, and their soft option uses a dense polyfoam on top of a memory foam layer and then a polyfoam core. This would have a different feel than the BME – perhaps a bit more "dead’ and sinking in just a bit more. Again, this is hard to qualify for each individual. The Helix uses an algorithm to help predict the different types of polyfoam and microcoils used to create the plushness you might desire. If you’re considering either company, I would first have a detailed phone conversation with them, letting them know what you’ve previously tried and what has or hasn’t worked, as that can serve as a good reference point for them. You should also ask at that time for confirmation of any exchange/return policies that each company offers (Novosbed offers a 120 night trial and Helix offers a 100-night sleep trial)

Very interested in hearing from others who have RA, CFS/ME, Fibro and neck injuries about what materials may have helped. I know my body is different, even if all other things are equal, but I thought I’d ask this specifically. Thanks…

While the comments of others in a similar situation might be useful so that you may see the process that they have gone through, I’d be very cautious about using anyone else’s suggestions, experiences or reviews on a specific mattress (either positive or negative) or review sites in general as a reliable source of information or guidance about how you will feel on the same mattress or how suitable or how durable a mattress may be for you. Reviews or other people’s experiences in general won’t tell you much if anything about the suitability, quality, durability, or “value” of a mattress for any particular person (see post #13 here).

Oh, I remember a question I had: I have read that talalay blends are the softest out of all natural and synthetic and blends, but I haven’t been able to locate info about which beds might have this blend. Anyone know of any?

You may have run across some of the more detailed technical information I’ve previously presented on the site, which in your situation wouldn’t have too much applicability. While it is true that in general 100% NR Talalay can have a bit more “buoyant” feel than SBR, and SBR can feel a little softer and allow you to “sink in” a bit more. In the same thicknesses in the same ILD range, it would be very difficult for most people to notice a difference. The more important thing for you to consider would be for you to be sure that you’re looking at softer (lower ILD) foams in the upper layers of the products you’re considering.

As you stated you can’t leave your house right now, so the better options I’ve aware of that use latex in their mattresses would be the members listed in post #21 here who are all very experienced and knowledgeable and specialize in providing the type of help and guidance on the phone that can help you make good choices. There are a wide range of latex options included in the choices there and I believe that all of them compete well with the best in the industry in terms of their quality, value, service, and transparency.

Good luck in your process of selecting a new mattress, and keep us updated with your progress. And even though I’ve mentioned it previously, please consider phoning any company you’re considering doing business with before making a purchase, as opposed to emailing or using the chat feature. You’ll get much better information in that manner.

Phoenix