Hi Better,
In scanning through your previous posts you didn’t mention where you were considering purchasing from and it seems like you may have been in a bit of a hurry to make a purchase without doing enough due diligence first. FBM isn’t on the list of providers that I linked in my earlier replies about a topper but a quick forum search on FBM or on Foam by mail before your purchase would have brought up many mentions and cautions about them in the forum.
Sometimes it’s also easy to be misled or “lured” by prices that seem to be “too low” or by an unrealistic belief (or “hope”) that a “cheap” product is the same as another one that sounds similar but is more costly and in these cases it’s easy to disregard the internal voices or warning signs that are saying “be cautious here”. In many cases, the knowledge and integrity of who you buy from can be one of the most important parts of a successful purchase whether for a mattress or a topper.
Unfortunately there isn’t any comfort material that can effectively do this. Airbeds (and to some degree waterbeds) allow you to adjust the firmness of their support but these are support materials not comfort materials and also have their own significant issues (see here) that may be even worse. In your case you are working with comfort layers … not support layers … which have a different function and require completely different choices than support materials.
While I completely agree that the industry has some significant issues and is filled with misleading information (which is the reason for this site) … there are certainly enough reliable and knowledgeable suppliers that any consumer that does their due diligence can “bypass” the worst choices in either a mattress or a topper. While not even these (or anyone else) can tell you for certain what topper will work for you … dealing with them can at least give you much higher odds of success. The best chance for the industry to improve and change IMO is when enough consumers are educated and learn to recognize the difference between price and value and stop “supporting” some of the less reputable suppliers.
When you are buying a topper it can involve some trial and error and in some cases if you aren’t confident about your purchase then the options you have after a purchase to return or exchange the topper can be just as important a part of the “value” of the purchase as the product itself. A topper on one particular mattress can feel and perform very differently than the same topper on a different mattress and a topper that works perfectly for one person that has the same issues as you may still be completely unsuitable for you to sleep on. Each of us are very different.
When you are making an important purchase (and what you sleep on can be one of the most important factors in the quality of your sleep and how you feel and your overall wellbeing when you are awake) … it’s always a good idea to make sure that you take your time … do your homework … and go by your own unique needs, preferences, and circumstances. What works for someone else … even if they appear to be very similar to you or have the same issues … may not work nearly as well for you because each of us are different.
Dunlop tends to feel firmer than Talalay even in the same ILD and I also believe that your Dunlop topper is also firmer than you were led to believe … both of which may be contributing to your “symptoms” when you use it in spite of it being on a soft mattress. There are versions of Dunlop that are much softer and there are also very soft Talalay toppers as well but unfortunately yours isn’t one of either.
While it’s certainly unfortunate that you ended up making a purchase from FBM that didn’t work out for you and wasn’t what you believed you were buying (and you are not the first and won’t be the last to be lured by their prices only to regret the purchase afterwards) … if you do end up deciding to buy another topper then I would make sure that you only buy from a more reputable, knowledgeable, and experienced supplier and/or make sure that you have some good exchange or return options if your sleeping experience indicates that the topper you buy isn’t suitable for you in combination with your mattress.
Just as a reminder … there are some topper guidelines in post #2 here and the posts it links to (including a list of some of the better sources I’m aware of) just in case you decide that you want to try again with another topper that has better odds of success.
Phoenix