I bought a queen sized memory foam mattress off the internet back in in 2005. I have no recollection of where I bought it and cannot find any info in my search. Anyway, the mattress has been really firm from the get go. I am a stomach sleeper and I weight 240 lbs at 6’1", I have mild spondylolethesis and spondylolysis which means putting myself into back extension tends to make my back sore. I think the firmness of the mattress coupled with the fact I am a stomach sleeper puts me into too much back extension when I sleep because every morning I wake up with a very tight sore back.
When I sleep on any softer mattress or couch, I tend to wake up fine. I tried to alleviate my problem with a plush topper (Bed Bath & Beyond | The Best Deals Online: Furniture, Bedding, Rugs, Kitchen Essentials & Moree) which works ok but requires a lot of work in fluffing it up and keeping it from bunching up. Along with the fact that its dimensions are weird so it hangs off the bed and every morning I find my sheets have been pulled off the corner of my mattress. Most mornings I wake up to still be sore because the filling has shifted to my sides leaving me on the firm mattress again.
I am a student and I cannot afford a new mattress right now so I have been looking for a topper that will sit on my mattress without moving, is the correct size so I can stop messing with my sheets every day, is plush so I have cushion to sink into before I hit the firm mattress, and doesn’t need fluffing daily like the one I have now does. I am thinking about 3 inches at least of very soft topper.
I looked for other softer/lower density memory foam toppers online but amazon/overstock reviews always seem conflicting as to whether they are plush/soft or firm. I looked at latex toppers, that seems like the best idea but I hate running blind here not knowing if I will spend several hundreds dollars on a topper than will still be too firm.
Can anyone suggest something or give me advice on what to get?
Stomach sleeping is the most risky of all the sleeping positions and it’s possible that your mattress may actually be too soft already because stomach sleepers typically need thinner and firmer comfort layers to keep their pelvis from sinking in too far into the mattress and hyperextending their lumbar spine (hammocking). Lower back issues (especially with stomach sleeping) are most often the result of a mattress that is too soft and is allowing you to sink in too far and a topper is usually best used when pressure relief is more of an issue and the mattress is still in good condition. Higher weights also tend to need firmer comfort layers and 3" of very soft foam on top of any mattress that already has soft layers on top could be “risky” for you in terms of alignment. I’m not sure how thick the memory foam layers are in your mattress already but all memory foam is relatively soft and if it’s also fairly thick then you would likely be sinking too far into the mattress over the course of the night even though it may “feel” firm to you if the memory foam is more temperature sensitive and has a slower response.
Other possibilities include a pillow issue because stomach sleepers tend to need a thin pillow to avoid neck and upper body issues but from the sound of things it seems that your main issues are more in the lower back.
It may also be worthwhile trying to use a thin pillow under your upper pelvis/lower abdomen which can help hold up your pelvis a little better.
Since your mattress is about 8 years old it’s also possible that you may have some soft spots in your mattress in which case a topper isn’t the best possible solution because it will just follow and bend into the soft spots in your mattress. If this is an issue then some of the suggestions in post #4 here may be more helpful than a topper.
A down alternative topper has very little support and may provide some “point specific” pressure point relief but but will also reduce the body heat that reaches the memory foam underneath it and reduce its ability to soften and contour to your body shape.
If you are certain that you need a topper for a little extra softness even though it’s not the most likely solution for a back issue … then I would be very cautious about the thickness you use so that you don’t increase the risk of alignment issues with your stomach sleeping. The less the better. Post #8 here has some guidelines that may be helpful in making the best possible topper choice but again I would be very cautious about adding a thick and soft topper on your mattress … especially for a heavier stomach sleeper that is sensitive to hyperextending their spine.
Thank you for your reply. The mattress is very firm. Everyone else who has slept on it says the same thing. They say it is like sleeping on a board. There is no soft layer on the foam or at least it doesn’t feel like it. It seems to sink about 1.5 inches if I sit on it. When I bought it, foam beds were still not very widespread. I was younger and didn’t do my due diligence in my research I just wanted a bed that would last me all through school. Whatever company I bought it from online, I bought based solely on their marketing on their website and the affordability. It’s the same firmness on either side of the mattress (flipped) which leads me to believe it is not layered. I have been having the sore back pretty much from day one with the mattress. For several years I slept on my couch because my bed was too uncomfortable.
I have tried a pillow under my pelvis, it does not stay due to the fact I move a lot while I sleep. I have tried to change my sleeping habits to stop stomach sleeping, putting tennis balls on my stomach with ace wrap, etc, but I still end up on my stomach and the balls end up outside the wrap (think I do it in my sleep or semi-conscious state). I know stomach sleeping is problematic, but I cannot fix that. I do wake up on my side sometimes as well. I know the foam is going to degrade over time, probably faster than a higher quality mattress (this cost 800$ when all other foam beds were going to 1400$+) but I barely sink down at all in this.
I sleep with a very thin pillow to maintain a neutral cervical spine.
I have tried sleeping on both sides (R and L) of the mattress (other side is only occasionally used), same result, sore back in the morning. There are no visible low spots on the bed. I tried starting with a very thin topper, it worked for a few days to reduce the morning back pain but once the fill inside was compressed, the problem returned. The topper I currently have was great at first as well, I got no back pain in the morning though I am seeing increased back pain now due to the breakdown of that topper after about 8 months. When I sleep on someone else’s mattress (plush) or when I travel (terrible cheap mattress), I wake up with no back pain. When i sleep on my plush couch, same story. So I don’t think it is because my mattress is too soft, as I would have the same problem on a plush mattress or couch.
Once I finish my doctorate in a year I might be able to afford a new mattress but I really just need a stopgap at this point. I know it seems counter-intuitive that the firmness of my mattress is giving me back pain that is only present when I do excessive amounts of back extension. But considering the mattress was giving me this problem from day one leaves me to wonder what is happening that is causing the issue.
While “theory” says that what you are considering would be very “risky” … there are so many variables, unknowns, and differences in physiology between people that theory doesn’t always match real life experience or account for someone’s experience on a mattress or mattress topper combination.
In these cases you would need to use your own best judgement based on your personal experiences because “theory” doesn’t seem to apply.
I would keep in mind that furniture foam is generally firmer than mattress foam because it’s designed to hold up more concentrated weight so a “plush” sofa may be a “firm” mattress.
I would also consider using 5 lb or higher memory foam because lower density will soften and break down faster with your weight.
Finally in spite of your experience contradicting “theory” … I would still be very cautious with using a memory foam topper that was over 2" for a primary stomach sleeper.
Ok, thank you. I will try to find some place to sleep with a firm mattress and see if that helps or results in the same thing. Once I get that info I will try to figure something out. One thing, my couch has me sink much further down than my mattress, I can compress my cushions with not much force while my mattress does not yield at all to maximal force.
One other thing. I was camping a few months ago. Had an air mattress that spung a leak two days before I went home, so I ended up sleeping on the ground. Had the same back soreness for those two nights as well.
That certainly indicates that you don’t do well on ultra firm surfaces and need at least “some” softness but I also wouldn’t “translate” this into comfort layers that are too thick because this could also lead to alignment issues although as I mentioned your experience may be different from the averages that would apply to most people so your own personal experience is always the most accurate guideline to follow.