needed to buy a mattress yesterday PLEASE HELP!!

Dear Phoenix,

I’m new to the forum and this website has great information and wished that I had found your website sooner. After reading alot of the messages and replies and your information, I realized that I’m not alone and quickly told my husband. I’m at the lowest point right now since I haven’t had a good night sleep for a year now, not like I used to.

A year ago, my mattress of 8 yrs or so (Sealy posturepedic plush- I believe I have bought from Costco) started to sag a little and felt midback and lower back pain, I decided to finally change it. So I thought I would buy a mattress from one of the local highschool that was doing a fundraiser at that time and would be helping a coworker’s son. I bought mattress#1-$1000 restonic pillow top mattress (thought I would upgrade myself to a pillowtop). That was a mistake, found out it was too soft and felt back pain within the first night. Tried to get used to it but made my back felt worst. So called to exhange but the exhange didn’t happen until 2 months after I bought it, so in the meantime, slept all over the place( my husband’s bed, sofa,air mattress)So then I thought I will exchange it to a firm bed, it was too firm and my pressure points hurt( since I’m a side sleeper) and now I’m stuck with the firm bed. Just to clarify, my husband and I sleep in separate beds because he snores and his bed is too firm for me.

So I bought mattess# 2 from Costco($700-sealy posture pedic plush with gel memory foam) which was a little better with the firmness, at least my pressure points hurted less but it was TOO HOT. We decided to keep that one for my daughter and gave Two more months passed by and me sleeping all over the place and loosing so much sleep that it affected my immune system and I got sick with a bad sinus infection, lost weight and got tested with my primary doctor. Everything was negative( hormones, neck and back xray was negative).

Then I bought mattress #3 $2000-sleep number bed and tried that for a month and that didn’t work for me. I couldn’t find the right number, either too firm and my pressure points hurt or too soft and my spine and lower back hurt. So I returned it.

Then decided to buy another mattress from mattress discounters here in San Diego ($1000 mattress#4-Sealy posturepedic plush with gel memory foam) That mattress didn’t turn out again because it was too hot( even with cool bedsheets that was sold to me) still hurt my pressure points. I had to keep it and break it in for 3 months before I can exhange. So within those 3 months, I tried to break it in by jumping on it every night, bought 5 different kinds of mattress toppers(either still too firm or too soft). Then after 3 months exchange it to mattress #5 $1700 Sterns and Foster luxury firm. Decided on S&F because it didn’t have the gel memory foam that made me hot. Still, that was too firm and hurt my pressure points still, so I started to sleep on an incline, but this position hurt my lower back. Also bought an$800 adjustable bed from Sleep Train and put my new bed on top of that and that wasn’t good for my back either, so I returned it.

Had also done back massages,(which didn’t have to do before all these things happened),acupunture-didn’t help, physical theraphy-which helped my muscle tension due to sleeping in weird positions and on different beds,

Now it has been a year already, stuck with 3 mattress, spent close to $4000, done close to everything possible except waterbed, feeling sick again, desperate, depressed. Thinking of going to primary doctor to get prescription for pain meds, anti-depressants meds and meds to promote sleep, all because I just want to get a good night sleep again.

I was wondering if there’s such a place, where they can customize a bed( not for size and shape) for me. What I mean is, go to a store, recommend the quality materials that goes in the bed and built the bed for me. At this point, I’m willing to pay at least $5000 for a customize bed if that bed will give me that good sleep again. I also wished that I can sleep on the bed for one night before i purchase it because I never know how it feels until I sleep on it for the night. Also just to let you know Mr. Phoenix that before I purchase my Sealy Posturepedic and Sterns and Foster at mattress discounters that I would try those beds at least one hour or so and go back to the store 5-6 times.

Please help me figure out what stores or website I could go to here in SanDiego to find me a mattress.

Hi asaso,

The first place to start your research is post #1 here which links to all the basic information, steps, and guidelines that can help you make the best choices in either choosing a mattress or exchanging one.

the good news in this is that it’s much easier to “fix” a mattress that is too firm by adding a topper than one that is too soft (which usually requires replacing foam layers with thinner or firmer versions instead of adding to them). While choosing a topper that works well for you in combination with your mattress can be almost as difficult as choosing a mattress because the effect of a topper will vary depending on the specifics of the mattress underneath it and by body type and sleeping positions … post #8 here has some topper guidelines that may be helpful.

Buying a mattress from Costco is a roll of the dice because you can’t test them in person and they don’t offer much guidance or know much about the mattresses they sell and which ones may be most suitable for your body type and sleeping position. In most cases they also don’t provide the specifics of the quality of the materials inside their mattresses so you would have little idea of its quality or relative value. The only good news about buying from Costco is that you can return the mattress if you don’t like it. You can read more about buying a mattress from a big box store in post #4 here.

Memory foam is generally warmer than other type of foam that have better ventilation but there are also many other things that can affect the sleeping temperature of a mattress which can sometimes help (see post #2 here).

You can read more of my thoughts about airbeds in this article.

These are all manufacturers or the types of retailers that I would avoid when you are shopping for a new mattress. The read first post I linked earlier has more information about this. They will tend to sell you whatever they can convince you to buy and that often isn’t the mattress that works best for you in terms of PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and personal preferences).

In most cases … the best odds of a successful purchase will be with smaller manufacturers that either sell factory direct or through better sleep shops that have much more knowledge and experience than most of the “mass market” retailers and will also help to educate you about their mattresses more than “sell” you whatever they can. There is certainly no need to spend $5000 and more expensive mattresses have no guarantee that they will be better quality or more suitable for your specific needs and preferences. There are certainly places like this that can help you customize a mattress design both before or after a purchase. some of the better options and possibilities I’m aware of in the San Diego area are listed in post #2 here.

If you follow the steps in the first guideline post I linked and know what to avoid you will have much higher odds of success. :slight_smile:

Phoenix

Dear Phoenix,

Thank you for the quick reply. I wished I found your mattress forum before I bought all those mattress. It was very helpful reading other post from sdmark, stuart and others from San Diego. I did visit a few outlets/retailers a few days ago like you suggested and also called a few today and plan to visit them today. So far:

Escondido Mattress Factory : You are right, Randywas very nice and educated us about latex and spring mattress and I got to see the materials used. The latex he showed me was between a medium and soft. I was leading towards the soft 6" latex mattress which I felt still wasn’t soft enough for my pressure points. Unfortunately I didn’t get to ask what the ILD on the latex was.

Healthy Back: Tested their pure latex bliss firm, medium and medium/soft. I like the medium/soft, which is the Elegance 12" $3000.
I also tested their techno gel mattress and I like that because of the cooling feature since I tend to overheat at night despite light blankets and pajamas and cool environment. What do you think of the technogel? I know that they are not latex and it is made of polyfoam. I felt that it is not as soft as the pure latex bliss and felt okay for my pressure points at that time but afraid will be too firm by the end of the night. Also they said that they have 90 day return policy minus the delivery charge total 220( here and back) and a 180 day exchange policy. The salesperson was knowledgeable and helpful and said that price may be negotiable and still needed to ask the store manager.

I called also a few places:

Real Deal Furniture: Has the Pure Latex Bliss but no return policy, 90 day exchange only and $50 delivery and I plan to visit soon.

Electropedic Mattress: No exchange or return policy and 2 sided latex mattress(one you can flip) he said.10" for about $1700 and I plan to visit soon.

I also read on one of the forum, I believe from Stuart from San Diego, from the article" The Joy of Latex Mattress for an aching back" regarding Ultimate Dreams Latex Mattress. Is that mattress from online? From their website, it stated 10" Talalay but Stuart mentioned in the article 3" talalay latex and 7" memory foam, now I’m confused.

Your quick reply is much appreciated because yesterday my blood pressure shot up to 176/90 while at work and for no reason. My blood pressure is usually low 120/70 so I think this not sleeping well like I used to is finally catching up to me. :frowning:

P.S. I heard about those Intelligel or Intellibeds… What are your opininon about those?

Hi asaso,

Thanks for sharing your San Diego feedback

As you probably know Escondido Mattress Factory is a member of this site which means they compete well with the best in the industry in terms of quality, value, and service. Knowing the ILD of the latex really makes little difference though when you are testing a mattress locally because your body will tell you if the mattress is suitable in terms of PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and Personal preferences). The ILD of a material is only a comfort spec and has nothing to do with the quality of the material.

You can see my thoughts about the Technogel mattresses in post #2 here and a forum search on Technogel (you can just click this) will bring up more feedback about it as well.

I’m not sure what you’re referring to but if you can link to the article I’d be happy to make some comments about it. The Ultimate Dreams is one of the mattresses made by Dreamfoam Bedding which has a wide range of mattresses that they sell on Amazon and are a member of this site as well. They make latex mattresses, latex hybrids, memory foam mattresses, and innerspring mattresses as well. There is no specific material or combination that is “better for backs than another”. The “best” mattress for an aching back (or for anyone for that matter) is a mattress that is the best match for someone’s specific needs and preferences in terms of PPP regardless of the material used.

There is a recent forum thread here which discusses them and there are some comments about them in this thread as well. A forum search on intelligel (you can just click this as well) will also bring up more information about them as well. They can certainly be a suitable choice for some people and it has good pressure relieving properties.

Phoenix

Dear Phoenix,

Well its been a couple of weeks since I last post. Since those last couple weeks, a lot happened. My sleep deprivation for about a year now finally caught up to me. I had couple of high blood pressure incidence that I’m off for a week from work to rest and to now have to do a stress test for my heart. So I finally decided to purchase the PLB Elegance (which is the 12" pure latex- 6" support and 6" comfort layer including the celsion temperature regulating layer) from the Healthy Back store here in Sand Diego. The Elegance was the medium/soft model that felt soft and comfortable when I tried it at the store. They didn’t have the softest model on the floor because they said that was way too soft for most people so they don’t bother. I also tried the medium which was 10’ but felt it was too firm for my pressure points…I’m on my second night last night and it made my back/spine hurt. I know I have to try it for at least the 90 days but if my back is hurting, how can I ? I feel like my back doesn’t even know what it wants anymore since I have subjected my back to all these different types of mattress for the past year.(pillowtop, firm ,plush ,gel memory foam , sleep number , adjustable beds ,air mattress, latex). Since I don’t like the “cocoon” feel and the heat of memory foam and like the resilience of an innerspring mattress, I thought this PLB Elegance will be IT. Now I’m afraid this will be the third mattress I will be stuck with. Maybe I need to go back to basics and just buy a innerspring/coil mattress( with no memory foam) with a soft enough comfort layer. I feel that the latex has slighty too much “bounce” or “push back” for me that I think that it makes my back tense but yet I guess it’s soft enough that my pressure points don’t hurt but WHY WOULD MY BACK/SPINE HURT? All this time, my back/spine would hurt if the mattress is too soft. How can this PLB Elegance be too soft? I don’t see any sagging or indentations? I’m so confused, my back is so confused( I know that sounded crazy but I feel I have hit rock bottom. Any suggestions on a high quality innerspring/coil mattress here in San Diego just like my old one 8 years ago. Anyone else out there with any suggestions will be appreciated. I feel like I now have to start taking strong sleeping pills or pain pills just to get through the night or start going to a chiropractor. Although I don’t have back pain during the day, just at night after 3-4 hrs of laying down.

Hi asaso,

The most common reason for back pain on a mattress is that the comfort layers are too thick or soft so that your pelvis sinks down too deeply which tilts the pelvis and and puts the spine out of alignment. This would generally indicate the need for a mattress that had thinner or firmer comfort layers so that your pelvis doesn’t sink down quite as far. The Healthy Back Elegance is one of the softest in their latex lineu and the softest mattresses can be the most “risky” in terms of alignment even though they are great for pressure relief.

Post #2 here and post #2 here and post #6 here include more information about some of the many things that can lead to the more common “symptoms” on a mattress but each person is unique in terms of body type, sleeping positions, physiology, health conditions, preferences, and individual sensitivity to different designs so there is no “theory” than can predict the exact layering or design that will be most suitable for each person that can possibly be more accurate than your own personal testing and experience.

There is also a list of some of the forum posts that talk about the different symptoms that people may experience with a new mattress and possible solutions in post #2 here but these are more “theoretical” and your own testing can avoid the need to base your choices on theory at a distance which is generally not as effective except as a very general guideline.

The first step with resolving any issues with a mattress would be a conversation with the retailer or manufacturer where you purchased it so that they can help you with any return or exchange options that may be available to you but your “symptoms” may also be connected to the normal adjustment period that can go with any new sleeping surface. If you start to see improvement in a few days then it may be worth sleeping on the mattress for longer to see how things progress otherwise you may need to test other mattresses (as carefully and objectively as possible using the testing guidelines in post #1 here) to find one that may be more suitable for your specific needs and preferences.

Some of the better options and possibilities I’m aware of in the San Diego area are listed in post #2 here but your own personal testing is really the only way to know which mattress is the most suitable for you in terms of PPP because regardless of which types of materials or components they use (which are a preference) it’s always how well a specific design matches your needs and preferences that is more important than the specific materials and components that are in the mattress. Any type of mattress (such as all latex, innersprings, memory foam, or any other combination of materials and components) can have a design that either doesn’t work for you at all or a design that is a great match for your specific needs and preferences.

If your preferences are a mattress that uses an innerspring as a support core then a few phone calls to some of the retailers or manufacturers on the list will give you some places to test their mattresses. I don’t keep a list of the specific models or mattress designs at each manufacturer or retailer and again … there is no single type of mattress that is inherently “better” than another.

Phoenix

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What I would suggest is always looking for deals first. I usually just go to Google and search. Usually, I am able to find some kind of an offer. Just to give you an example I was looking the other day for a Leesa bed and well I searched and I was able to find sites that gave good deals. I would also suggest on reading this coupon code article on Leesa mattress. It’s a quick guide but at least you will know what to do.