needed to buy a mattress yesterday PLEASE HELP!!

[phoenix]

Hi asaso,

The first place to start your research is post #1 here which links to all the basic information, steps, and guidelines that can help you make the best choices in either choosing a mattress or exchanging one.

I bought mattress#1-$1000 restonic pillow top mattress (thought I would upgrade myself to a pillowtop). That was a mistake, found out it was too soft and felt back pain within the first night. Tried to get used to it but made my back felt worst. So called to exhange but the exhange didn’t happen until 2 months after I bought it, so in the meantime, slept all over the place( my husband’s bed, sofa,air mattress)So then I thought I will exchange it to a firm bed, it was too firm and my pressure points hurt( since I’m a side sleeper) and now I’m stuck with the firm bed. Just to clarify, my husband and I sleep in separate beds because he snores and his bed is too firm for me.

the good news in this is that it’s much easier to “fix” a mattress that is too firm by adding a topper than one that is too soft (which usually requires replacing foam layers with thinner or firmer versions instead of adding to them). While choosing a topper that works well for you in combination with your mattress can be almost as difficult as choosing a mattress because the effect of a topper will vary depending on the specifics of the mattress underneath it and by body type and sleeping positions … post #8 here has some topper guidelines that may be helpful.

So I bought mattess# 2 from Costco($700-sealy posture pedic plush with gel memory foam) which was a little better with the firmness, at least my pressure points hurted less but it was TOO HOT. We decided to keep that one for my daughter and gave Two more months passed by and me sleeping all over the place and loosing so much sleep that it affected my immune system and I got sick with a bad sinus infection, lost weight and got tested with my primary doctor. Everything was negative( hormones, neck and back xray was negative).

Buying a mattress from Costco is a roll of the dice because you can’t test them in person and they don’t offer much guidance or know much about the mattresses they sell and which ones may be most suitable for your body type and sleeping position. In most cases they also don’t provide the specifics of the quality of the materials inside their mattresses so you would have little idea of its quality or relative value. The only good news about buying from Costco is that you can return the mattress if you don’t like it. You can read more about buying a mattress from a big box store in post #4 here.

Memory foam is generally warmer than other type of foam that have better ventilation but there are also many other things that can affect the sleeping temperature of a mattress which can sometimes help (see post #2 here).

Then I bought mattress #3 $2000-sleep number bed and tried that for a month and that didn’t work for me. I couldn’t find the right number, either too firm and my pressure points hurt or too soft and my spine and lower back hurt. So I returned it.

You can read more of my thoughts about airbeds in this article.

Then decided to buy another mattress from mattress discounters here in San Diego ($1000 mattress#4-Sealy posturepedic plush with gel memory foam) That mattress didn’t turn out again because it was too hot( even with cool bedsheets that was sold to me) still hurt my pressure points. I had to keep it and break it in for 3 months before I can exhange. So within those 3 months, I tried to break it in by jumping on it every night, bought 5 different kinds of mattress toppers(either still too firm or too soft). Then after 3 months exchange it to mattress #5 $1700 Sterns and Foster luxury firm. Decided on S&F because it didn’t have the gel memory foam that made me hot. Still, that was too firm and hurt my pressure points still, so I started to sleep on an incline, but this position hurt my lower back. Also bought an$800 adjustable bed from Sleep Train and put my new bed on top of that and that wasn’t good for my back either, so I returned it.

These are all manufacturers or the types of retailers that I would avoid when you are shopping for a new mattress. The read first post I linked earlier has more information about this. They will tend to sell you whatever they can convince you to buy and that often isn’t the mattress that works best for you in terms of PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and personal preferences).

I was wondering if there’s such a place, where they can customize a bed( not for size and shape) for me. What I mean is, go to a store, recommend the quality materials that goes in the bed and built the bed for me. At this point, I’m willing to pay at least $5000 for a customize bed if that bed will give me that good sleep again. I also wished that I can sleep on the bed for one night before i purchase it because I never know how it feels until I sleep on it for the night. Also just to let you know Mr. Phoenix that before I purchase my Sealy Posturepedic and Sterns and Foster at mattress discounters that I would try those beds at least one hour or so and go back to the store 5-6 times.

In most cases … the best odds of a successful purchase will be with smaller manufacturers that either sell factory direct or through better sleep shops that have much more knowledge and experience than most of the “mass market” retailers and will also help to educate you about their mattresses more than “sell” you whatever they can. There is certainly no need to spend $5000 and more expensive mattresses have no guarantee that they will be better quality or more suitable for your specific needs and preferences. There are certainly places like this that can help you customize a mattress design both before or after a purchase. some of the better options and possibilities I’m aware of in the San Diego area are listed in post #2 here.

If you follow the steps in the first guideline post I linked and know what to avoid you will have much higher odds of success.

Phoenix