New memory foam mattress too firm for my neck?

[phoenix]

Hi jesieb,

I searched around extensively on Mattress Underground before I bought my new bed (thank you, Phoenix, for all the great information on here!), and I ultimately chose a PureCool Supreme from Brooklyn Bedding, along with a Simple Life foundation. I feel like I got a really high-quality mattress for the price and am happy with my choice to buy from Brooklyn Bedding, but the bed has been causing some issues for me and I’m wondering if it’s just too firm for my neck. I’m considering exchanging it for a softer PureCool Luxe bed, but I don’t want to jump the gun on this decision.

To give you some context about me: I’m 6’ tall and about 185 pounds with narrow hips, broader shoulders and most of my weight carried on top. I almost always sleep on my back which I trained myself to do years ago (a doctor told me it’s the best sleeping position for spine problems), but every so often I’ll find myself rolling over onto my side during the night. I have a bulging disk in my neck and cervical-spine kyphosis (my neck has lost its normal backwards curve), both of which I’ve had for many years, but I don’t have any other orthopedic issues.

As you know I think highly of Brooklyn Bedding and they certainly make some great quality/value mattresses but as you probably know from your reading here the quality or value of a mattress has little to do with how well you will sleep on it because a mattress also needs to be a good match for you in terms of PPP as well.

You are the only one that can feel what you feel on a mattress and there are too many unknowns, variables, and personal preferences involved for anyone to be able to predict or make a specific suggestion or recommendation about which mattress would be the best “match” for you in terms of PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and Personal preferences) based on specs (either yours or a mattress) or “theory at a distance” that can possibly be more accurate than your own personal testing or sleeping experience (see mattress firmness/comfort levels in post #2 here). This would be especially true when it comes to medical issues that can complicate the choice of a mattress.

I can certainly help you to narrow down your options by identifying any lower quality materials or weak links in a mattress, help you identify and focus on the better quality/value options that are available to you either locally or online, act as a fact check, answer questions you may have along the way that I am able to help with, and help with “how” to choose but only you can decide which specific mattress that is the best match for you in terms of PPP.

I’ve had my new bed for about a month-and-a-half now, and I’ve been having a major flare-up of my neck issues. I’ve had a lot of neck pain, as well as “lightning strike” feelings across the top of my shoulder on the right side (the direction that the disk bulges) and down the outside of my upper arm. I’ll be seeing my neuro next week, and I’m sure he’ll tell me that the bulging disk in my neck is acting up and inflaming my nerve because that’s the diagnosis I always receive whenever I have flare-ups, and I think it’s accurate. I’ll definitely be letting him know that I think it’s related to my new bed, but I honestly don’t expect to get any detailed suggestions from him beyond “Maybe you should consider getting a different bed” :dry: . I’ve never been able to get many specific suggestions from him in the past about these things so I’m not hoping for much more this time around (which isn’t super surprising since mattresses aren’t his area of expertise…)

I know neck issues are often related to pillow choice, but I have a pretty big array of pillows in my arsenal, each of which I’ve used for about a week on the new bed, but with no luck in terms of relieving my pain. I’ve used a water pillow, a buckwheat pillow, a shredded latex pillow, a shredded latex pillow with a cervical roll, and no pillow at all. Believe it or not, the “no pillow at all” option is often the best solution for me both in terms of keeping neck pain at bay and getting flare-ups to settle down (and I really don’t mind sleeping without one), but it didn’t do anything for me this time around.

Again I can’t help with specific suggestions regarding medical issues but as you mentioned this would normally be a pillow issue. When you buy a new mattress you will generally sink in more or less than your previous mattress and the distance between your head and neck and the mattress can change so a different pillow with a different profile is often needed to keep your head and neck in good alignment. Firmer mattresses will increase the gap between your head and neck and softer mattresses where you sink in more deeply will reduce the gap that needs to be “filled in” to provide support. The type of pillow isn’t as important as whether it has the right profile to keep your head and neck in neutral alignment (which may be different for you because of your disk issue and kyphosis) and it may take some experimentation to find the mattress/pillow combination that works best for you. It may be helpful to use mattresses you have slept on in the past and done well with as a reference point of comparison to help you decide whether you need a thicker or thinner pillow.

As you also mentioned it’s also possible that the mattress is too firm for you but this is something that only you can decide based on your actual sleeping experience. There is really no way for me to know this based on “theory” that can possibly be more reliable than your own experience. Brooklyn Bedding also makes three memory foam mattresses in the PureCool series that are designed to approximate three of the Tempurpedic mattresses (the Cloud Supreme Breeze, the Rhapsody Breeze, and the Cloud Luxe Breeze) so it may also be worthwhile testing these three mattresses in the store to see which of them is a better “match” for you. The Supreme is “in the middle” of the three in terms of firmness so you would be able to test a softer and a firmer mattress to see if your testing will provide any insights about whether softer or firmer will be better for you.

Some of the suggestions in posts #2 and #3 here may also be helpful.

Because of my little pillow experiment, I’m wondering if this bed is just too firm for me. However, I know there’s a breaking-in/softening period for mattresses, and that’s what I was hoping to pick your brain about before I make any decisions. Basically, I don’t want to exchange my mattress for a softer one and then have the new one soften up so much that it leads to more problems/discomfort. And I probably wouldn’t want to exchange my current mattress yet if you think it’s still breaking-in and is very likely to get softer (I’m only on day 40 of my 12o-day exchange period). So, on the one hand, I really don’t want to jump the gun too soon with moving to a softer mattress; on the other hand, I don’t want to cling to a futile hope that my mattress will get softer over the next month or couple of months if that’s probably not the case, especially if there’s a likelihood that exchanging it for softer mattress could help alleviate my pain.

I’ve read your other posts about the breaking-in period, and it sounds like higher quality memory foam like the material Brooklyn Bedding uses takes a bit longer to soften up if I understood correctly. Do you think it’s probably still softening up, and, if so, how much softening do you think it would be realistic to expect?

A new mattress will go through a break in period but you will also go through an adjustment period as your body adjusts to a new sleeping surface that is different from what it is used to and both of these happen simultaneously during the first few weeks after a purchase. It’s not really possible to predict on an individual level how long this will take for any individual person (some people don’t seem to notice it at all and sleep well from the first day and for some the adjustment period takes longer than average) … but in most cases it would be in the range of 30 days or less. If your experience on the mattress is still changing and there are indications of improvement then it can be a good idea to wait longer but if you have slept on your new mattress for about a month and it seems that your experience and the “symptoms” you are experiencing have stabilized then if it also seems clear to you that different pillow types and profiles aren’t helping it may be time to consider exchanging the mattress.

I keep my bedroom fairly cold (72 degrees), and I saw that mattresses get firmer at colder temperatures/lower humidity. Is 72 degrees low enough to make the mattress firmer, or would it only happen at much lower temperatures? If 72 degrees is low enough to make memory foam firmer, then I guess I’ll need to choose a softer mattress to compensate for that.

As you mentioned memory foam is sensitive to temperature so different room temperature can certainly make a difference in its firmness but different memory foams have a different range and degree of temperature response. 72 degrees is a fairly “neutral” temperature but they are more familiar with their memory foam and would be a better source of guidance than I am about the specifics of their memory foam and any differences that temperature can make.

I have a Luna waterproof mattress protector and 400 thread-count sateen cotton sheets. I wasn’t sure if it was just the pressure of your body or also the warmth that “breaks in” the mattress. If it’s the warmth that helps to break it in, do you think I should try sleeping without the mattress protector for a while to see if that helps to soften it up given that there’s less body heat transmitting to the mattress when the protector’s on?

The amount and frequency of deflection of the materials in your mattress is what is responsible for breaking in the mattress. I don’t think that removing a thin protector would make much if any difference.

My last question’s sort of random, but I don’t always sleep on the same side of the bed every night and am thinking that would probably extend the breaking-in period that’s needed. (I have a queen bed, but my dog’s generally in bed before I am so I just choose a side based on which side she happened to pass out on that night .) I can of course start scooting her over and sleeping consistently on one side of the bed, but, even with that, I’m wondering how much time you’d recommend giving this mattress until I pull the trigger on the exchange (assuming you don’t think I should go ahead and exchange it right now).

Part of the reason I went with a somewhat firmer mattress, as opposed to the Luxe which is the softest one, was because I’d read your posts about finding a sweet spot between posture/alignment, pressure relief and personal preference. Although I’m a little worried that getting a softer mattress might cause my hips to “hammock” into the bed at night, I think I might be willing to take that risk to have some relief from my neck pain. I would be a little worried, however, about my shoulders sinking so far into a very soft bed that it exacerbates my neck pain, which is one of the main reasons I’m trying to get a good handle on how much more my current bed is likely to soften up before I think about pulling the trigger and exchange it for the softer bed.

Despite all the neck pain and issues I’m currently having, I’m honestly willing to put up with another month or two of awful sleep and neck pain if I ultimately end up with a mattress that has a level of softness that’ll be right for me over the next ten years or so. I’m just really unsure which way to go with this decision and want to make sure I have realistic expectations about the softening/breaking-in period, which is why I’d love to hear your thoughts on all this.

Since the amount and frequency of deflection can change how quickly a mattress breaks in sleeping in different areas of your mattress could make a difference but again the biggest indication would be whether your experience on the mattress is still changing or even whether you notice a difference between the sides. If your experience is still changing and there are signs of improvement then it may be worth sleeping on it for about 60 days or so to make sure i

I normally wouldn’t suggest choosing a mattress or a firmness level based on “theory” because each person is unique and different and your own personal testing and/or sleeping experience is the only way to confirm which mattress and firmness level is best for your unique circumstances. Everything else is just “theory” that may apply in general terms or “on average” but not to any specific person who doesn’t fit the “averages”.

Overall though … my “best” suggestion would be a more detailed phone conversation with Brooklyn Bedding since they will be much more familiar with their mattresses and “matching” them to different body types, sleeping positions, and individual circumstances than I am and they would also have the benefit of much more customer feedback over the years that they can draw from. A phone conversation can also cover more ground in minutes than forum posts that take many hours and don’t have the same level of “real time” interaction.

One last bonus question for you if you don’t mind: do you have any particular pillows you’d recommend I try out other than the ones I mentioned above just so that I can be as sure as possible that it isn’t somehow a pillow-related issue? I’m more than willing to give any and all pillow suggestions a trial run even if none of them end up working out for me.

There are also too many unknowns, variables, and personal preferences involved for anyone to make specific pillow suggestions based on “theory” as well and if anything personal preferences play an even bigger role with pillows than with mattresses. Having said that … there is much more information about choosing a pillow for different body types, sleeping positions, and personal preferences and some links to other pillow topics on the forum in the main pillow topic here that should be helpful.

I wish that I could provide more specific information or suggestions but your own experience is the only reliable way to know how any mattress or pillow works for you and in the end you are really the only “expert” when it comes to your own body and circumstances and how well you sleep on any particular mattress and pillow and identifying the specific mattress or pillow that is the best “match” for your own unique body type, sleeping style, health issues or any other preferences and circumstances that can affect how you sleep on a mattress.

Phoenix