Please help me choose an online mattress

I am hoping to buy an online mattress in the coming months and have found so many conflicting resources that I am having trouble making a decision. It seems that all websites have coupon codes connected to them, which makes it hard to find unbiased reviews, so I am hoping to find honest advice on this forum, as it was recommended to me for that very reason.

I am currently sleeping on a Novaform (Costco) memory foam mattress that I have had for the past four years. We liked it for a couple of years, but recently both my wife and I are starting to experience back/neck pain and discomfort, and there are visible dips/impressions in the mattress. The impressions are not large enough for a warranty claim, but enough for discomfort.

My wife is a stomach sleeper, with prior neck trauma/injuries and I am mostly a side sleeper, but sometimes I sleep on my back… I have found that I have been switching positions a lot more often lately because I am no longer comfortable on my side (which I assume is from the current mattress beginning to break down on the top layer of foam).

We are both a little over 200 pounds, so I know that it is important for us to find something supportive, but I also want something soft enough that I can sleep on my side. The Novaform we are on now is considered medium to medium firm to my knowledge. We have both been mostly happy with the firmness level but are open to trying something new if it is beneficial to us.

I have been reading about the Nectar which seems promising, especially due to the trial period and warranty. But then I read that it is made in China and very questionable. The Leesa is only 10" so that may be an issue over time breaking down due to our weight. I looked into the Brooklyn Bedding “Best mattress Ever” (at the “medium” firmness), but have read mixed reviews on that as well.

Our budget is under $1000. Being that we can’t try these mattresses in person, my hope is to get some advice on a direction that is unbiased. Please help!

Thank you for your assistance.

ddeg10 - Just a point regarding your existing Novaform mattress is that Costco has an exceptionally good return policy. I’ve read that they’ll accept returns on mattresses and give full refunds if you’re unsatisfied even if it’s not a ‘warranty issue’. I’d suggest that you check with Costco about the possibility of a return which could then allow you to afford an even better replacement mattress than you otherwise would. Good luck on your quest and I hope you find something that meets your needs.

Hi ddeg10,

Welcome to the Mattress Forum! :slight_smile:

It is an unfortunate truth that too many “review” sites for mattresses are simply “revenue” sites set up to generate click-throughs and affiliate revenue from mattress companies, with no objective meaningful information being given to assist consumers besides a 4-5 “star” rating, and often making the mattress companies the most visibile on their “review” sites who are providing the highest affiliate fees . Of course, the fact that a web site generates income in and of itself isn’t an indicator that the information presented is necessarily biased, as that would be pure cynicism. The web sites aren’t put up as charitable work, including mine, so what you have to do is look at the information being presented and how it is presented and the level of education and objectivity on the site, and determine if the site is helping to instruct you to find your own product or if it is choosing something for you. And this is one of the areas where The Mattress Underground has earned the stellar reputation that it currently holds. You can see the core values of the site here. I’m glad you’ve found us!

You’re probably correct that your repositioning has something to do with the gradual loss of comfort in your current mattress. I would also have a concern with our wife sleeping upon her stomach that the mattress may be allowing her to sink in a bit more than is appropriate for someone sleeping in the prone position.

The two basic functions of a mattress are to provide deep support / alignment, and then to provide comfort (see this article). If you’re prioritizing between the two, I would definitely recommend alignment/support first (especially with your wife sleeping in the prone position), and then “just enough” surface comfort to get the job done. Different sleeping positions require, in general, different levels of surface plushness, as described in this article. You need to be especially careful with someone sleeping prone so that the mattress doesn’t allow too much sag on top to accentuate the forward (lordotic) curve in the lower back, which can be quite uncomfortable if that happens. This can be a problem with memory foam mattresses especially, as the memory foam itself in the upper layers does not have much resilience (“pushback”) and does allow you to sink in, and this can become more of an issue over time as the memory foam softens, along with the polyfoam support core beneath it.

As for “medium” or “medium-firm”, there are no “standard” definitions or consensus of opinions for firmness ratings and different manufacturers can rate their mattresses very differently than others so a mattress that one manufacturer rates as being a specific firmness could be rated very differently by another manufacturer. Different people can also have very different perceptions of firmness and softness compared to others as well and a mattress that feels firm for one person can feel like “medium” for someone else or even “soft” for someone else (or vice versa) depending on their body type, sleeping style, physiology, their frame of reference based on what they are used to, and their individual sensitivity and perceptions. There are also different types of firmness and softness that different people may be sensitive to that can affect how they “rate” a mattress as well (see post #15 here) so different people can also have very different opinions on how two mattresses compare in terms of firmness and some people may rate one mattress as being firmer than another and someone else may rate them the other way around. This is all relative and very subjective and is as much an art as a science. Ultimately, there really isn’t a reliable way to match one mattress to another one in terms of “comfort”, firmness, and PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and your Personal preferences) based on the specifications of the mattresses (even assuming that you can find out all the specifications you would need for both mattresses you are comparing in the first place), and your own personal testing will be the most accurate indicator of the potential for an item to meet your specific needs, provided that the componentry used within a mattress if of a good quality.

To help select a mattress, the first place to start your research is the mattress shopping tutorial here which includes all the basic information, steps, and guidelines that can help you make the best possible choice … and perhaps more importantly know how and why to avoid the worst ones.

Two of the most important links in the tutorial that I would especially make sure you’ve read are post #2 here which has more about the different ways to choose a suitable mattress (either locally or online) that is the best “match” for you in terms of “comfort”, firmness, and PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and your own Personal preferences) that can help you assess and minimize the risks of making a choice that doesn’t turn out as well as you hoped for and post #13 here which has more about the most important parts of the “value” of a mattress purchase which can help you make more meaningful quality/value comparisons between mattresses in terms of suitability (how well you will sleep), durability (how long you will sleep well), and the overall value of a mattress compared to your other finalists based on all the parts of your personal value equation that are most important to you (including the price of course and the options you have available after a purchase if your choice doesn’t turn out as well as you hoped for).

Outside of PPP (which is the most important part of “value”), the next most important part of the value of a mattress purchase is durability which is all about how long you will sleep well on a mattress. This is the part of your research that you can’t see or “feel” and assessing the durability and useful life of a mattress depends on knowing the specifics of its construction and the type and quality of the materials inside it regardless of the name of the manufacturer on the label or how a mattress feels in a showroom or when it is relatively new so I would always make sure that you find out the information listed here so you can compare the quality of the materials and components to the durability guidelines here to make sure there are no lower quality materials or weak links in a mattress that would be a cause for concern relative to the durability and useful life of a mattress before making any purchase.

You may also want to read post #3 here, as it has more information and suggestions about higher BMIs and selecting a mattress.

The Nectar uses a 1" of 4 lb gel memory foam, a 3-inch 3.5 lb memory foam layer, and finally a 2.2 lb polyfoam core. They don’t list the thickness of the polyfoam core, or the thickness of the quilted gel memory foam panel or the density of that material. The polyfoam core uses a good density foam, but I would use caution with the 3" of 3.5 lb. memory foam on top of the core, as that is lower than I would recommend (see the durability guidelines here ). They are a product assembled in the USA of components sourced from China and the US. They do not specify what is from where. I would caution against purchasing this item before knowing the complete specifications and component origins. I would read post #6 here about mattresses and materials imported from Asia or China and which may have been compressed for long periods of time in either shipping or storage before being purchased and being sourced in China would make this somewhat of a risky purchase IMO. Additionally, I’ve heard from people within the industry of some fulfillment issues with Nectar, but this may be addressed by now.

You can read more about the specifications of the Leesa in the Simplified Choice Thread here. I’d advise caution because of the 2" of 3 lb memory foam as a weak link in this mattress.

The Best Mattress Ever (you can also see the specifications of their mattresses in the Simplified Choice thread here) would use the best quality material as compared to the other mattresses you mentioned. They are also a site member here, which means that I think highly of them and their products.

Regarding reviews, and as I alluded to earlier in this post, while other people’s comments about the knowledge and service of a particular business can certainly be very helpful, I would always keep in mind that you are the only one that can feel what you feel on a mattress and I would be cautious about using anyone else’s suggestions, experiences or reviews on a specific mattress (either positive or negative) or review sites in general as a reliable source of information or guidance about how you will feel on the same mattress or how suitable or how durable a mattress may be for you. In many if not most cases they can be more misleading than helpful because a mattress that would be a perfect choice for one person or even a larger group of people in terms of comfort, firmness, and PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and your own Personal preferences) may be completely unsuitable for someone else to sleep on (even if they are in a similar weight range). In other words … reviews or other people’s experiences in general won’t tell you much if anything about the suitability, quality, durability, or “value” of a mattress for any particular person (see post #13 here).

While I can certainly help with “how” to choose, it’s not possible to make specific suggestions or recommendations for either a mattress, manufacturers/retailers, or combinations of materials or components because the first “rule” of mattress shopping is to always remember that you are the only one that can feel what you feel on a mattress and there are too many unknowns, variables, and personal preferences involved that are unique to each person to use a formula or for anyone to be able to predict or make a specific suggestion or recommendation about which mattress or combination of materials and components or which type of mattress would be the best “match” for you in terms of “comfort”, firmness, or PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and your own Personal preferences) or how a mattress will “feel” to you or compare to another mattress based on specs (either yours or a mattress), sleeping positions, health conditions, or “theory at a distance” that can possibly be more reliable than your own careful testing (hopefully using the testing guidelines in step 4 of the tutorial) or your own personal sleeping experience (see mattress firmness/comfort levels in post #2 here).

The best advice I can offer is to follow the steps outlined in the mattress shopping tutorial that I linked to earlier in this reply, and then analyze the specifications of any product you are considering. If you are considering shopping online, and while certainly not a complete list of what is available, you may wish to consider the experience and expertise of the members listed in post #21 here who are all very experienced and knowledgeable and specialize in providing the type of help and guidance on the phone that can help you make good choices. There are a wide range of latex and memory foam and other options included in the choices there and I believe that all of them compete well with the best in the industry in terms of their quality, value, service, and transparency.

If you have any specific questions about any products you are considering after reading through this information, I’ll be happy to do my best to be assistive.

Phoenix

Thank you for the wealth of info. I have been reading up on your articles considerably.

After my research, I am leaning heavily toward the Brooklyn bedding in the medium firmness. My only concern is the 10" as I have read some reviews that state you should be careful with 10" but it does seem to meet the requirements for my situation… I know you have a “slight caution” for those with a 30 BMI or over… we are right at the 30 mark and want to be sure that we have enough support. Just want to be sure this mattress will be durable and last, as the Novaform I have is 12" and breaking down after 4 and a half years, I want to have this mattress for at least 5 years minimally. I know some of the mattresses with the cheaper materials will work great for a few months but then break down, so my hope is that the Brooklyn is going to be a good choice for us for the long term. I know that my novaform was made with foam that is inferior to the Brooklyn which adds peace of mind, but the overall thickness does concern me.

Thanks for your help. Please let me know what you think.

PS . Sweet Dreams thanks for the tip. I just figured after almost five years I got my moneys worth and don’t want to abuse the return policy. It’s heavily stained as well so I just wouldn’t feel comfortable returning it.

Your position regarding Costco’s return policy sounds very reasonable and like the proper thing to do. I know many members abuse their policies which only results in them ultimately having to raise their prices. I’d suggest a call to BB to discuss your concerns directly with them regarding BME’s durability as well as their suggested firmness selection for your specific needs. Good luck whatever you decide on!

Hi ddeg10,

You’re welcome.

[quote]
After my research, I am leaning heavily toward the Brooklyn bedding in the medium firmness. My only concern is the 10" as I have read some reviews that state you should be careful with 10" but it does seem to meet the requirements for my situation[/quote]

The thickness of a mattress is just a side effect of the design and by itself isn’t particularly meaningful because whether a thicker or thinner mattress would be better or worse for any particular person will depend on the specifics of the materials (type, firmness, etc.) and on all the other layers in the mattress. Thickness is only one of many specs that are used to make different mattresses that perform and feel differently and that makes a mattress suitable for one person and not another. There is more about the effect of thickness in post #14 here. Regardless of how thick or thin a mattress may be … the most important part of the “value” of a mattress is how suitable it is “as a whole” for your particular body type, sleeping positions, and preferences in terms of PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and Personal preferences) regardless of how thick it may be. I would ignore “review” sites (see my opinion about them in my earlier reply to you) that make blanket recommendations on a product solely on thickness.

When BB changed to the 1.8 lb polyfoam core, they also upper the ILD to 36 to help offset this, and Mario from BB has spoken specifically about this on the forum previously (see this post). At a 30 BMI you should have adequate support.

Look again at the durability guidelines I linked to in my earlier reply to you. The BME uses good quality materials in the support polyfoam core and the upper comfort layers. I personally wouldn’t have a concern in this area if you do decide to choose this product.

While Costco doesn’t list the densities of the Novaform mattresses on their site, 3 lb memory foam is very commonly used, which would be a lower quality material, which can lead to a shortened comfort life. Also, if your mattress has been “heavily stained” this can also shorten the comfort life of your mattress, so I would recommend a quality mattress protector with any new mattress purchase as well.

If you are considering the BME in medium, I would phone Brooklyn Bedding directly and speak with them regarding your comfort selection, as they will know the most about their products and how they tend to match different sleeping styles, BMIs, and specific needs.

I’ll be interested in learning what you decide to do.

Phoenix

Thanks for your help in the process - I ended up purchasing the Brooklyn Bedding BME, at the medium firmness. I also got the two free pillows and sheets with their fall promotion, which was awesome. I made sure to put you in the referral field during checkout. Thanks!

H iddeg10.

Congratulation on your new mattress purchase! :cheer:
I am glad we could help.

As you’re aware, you chose something from a site member here using high quality and durable materials. I hope you can post back about your mattress once you’ve had a chance to sleep upon it for a while.

Thanks for confirming the TMU referral with BB which is part of what allows us to continue our long hours and efforts to continue the site development and increasing consumer education and awareness.

Phoenix

We have been sleeping on the mattress for a week now. Sadly, it’s just too hard for us. I cannot sleep on my side on it for more than a few minutes, without feeling the need to shift and change positions. I find myself changing positions often. The most comfortable position I have is on my back, but then I have a sore lower back in the morning due to the hardness. Had I not known I ordered a medium, I would have thought for sure this was their ‘firm’ version. I have read here to wait for a couple weeks to see if it softens up from the “False firmness,” but just how much should I expect it to loosen up?

The mattress is definitely made of high quality materials, appears and feels very durable and constructed with high quality materials… just not my cup of tea on the hardness. I can’t see how this is called a “medium.”

I know Brooklyn offers a topper but I am not really interested in the topper, as I would then need to replace that eventually and sacrifice breathability as well.

If I do decide to return it, I would like to try the “Soft” version because I am impressed with the quality. However, I am worried about not liking it, and then I will be stuck with it. So now I am wondering if I should return it and try another mattress… having a hard time deciding but will give this a couple more weeks before I make a decision… if I can manage to last sleeping on it for a couple more weeks, as it is starting to take its toll due to the firmness.

I just talked to Brooklyn Bedding on the chat and they actually offered to restart the trial if I do decide to exchange it for the soft version, and I would still be eligible to return the soft one for a refund if we don’t like it… that is VERY good business and really impressive honestly. They do want me to try it for 30 days first to see if things change. Update to come soon.

Hi ddeg10,

As you already mentioned and I think you may have read about, there will be an adjustment period for any new mattress or sleeping system as the mattress loses some of its “false firmness” and the cover stretches and loosens a little and your body gets used to a sleeping surface that is different from what it is used to (see post #3 here). This would typically be a few weeks but it can be shorter or longer depending on the specifics of the person and the mattress.

One week worth of use isn’t enough for any new mattress to “break-in”, nor is it enough time to allow your body to adjust to a new product. With mattresses using firmer high-density polyfoam cores like the BME, there seems to be quite a bit of feedback in the two-three week range where people start to adjust to the mattress and the mattress also begins to soften just a bit. I would hope that you could give yourself some more time to adjust to the mattress. It will certainly be a more supportive feel than the old memory foam product you were used to, and I would have a concern with you getting something too soft for stomach sleeping for your wife.

One other thing also to evaluate would be your pillow, as with any new mattress you will sink in at a different level than as you did on your previous mattress, and it may be that you need to adjust that as well.

Hopefully you can sleep upon the new product for a few weeks more at least before potentially contacting Brooklyn Bedding with any thoughts of manipulating the comfort, and if it does come down to that you can bounce your thoughts off of them regarding not wanting a topper versus their “plush” version.

Wishing you good luck!

Phoenix

Thanks! I will continue the course for a while before making any decisions. I appreciate your help.

Just as a point of reference, I tried a Nest Bedding mattress (which is manufactured by BB) and had a similar experience in that I couldn’t believe how extremely firm/hard it was and doubted it was the same mattress as the model I tried in their showroom. I thought that they possibly mislabeled a firm model as medium since the difference in feel was so extreme. They instructed me to walk up and down the mattress on my hands and knees about three times to help break in the new foam. I was reluctant but they assured me that it was safe to do so and would not damage the mattress. Immediately afterwards I was amazed at the difference and the mattress then became dramatically softer in feel and more conforming like their demo mattress was in the showroom. They explained that they do the same procedure with their floor samples to more quickly break them in. So you may want to ask BB about whether they’d suggest such a procedure for your mattress.

Hi Sweet Dreams,

Yes, walking across a mattress on hands and knees (or standing, but be careful) is a common tactic to help expedite the breaking in of a new mattress. You wouldn’t have an issue doing this with the BME.

Thanks for the input!

Phoenix