Hello, and thank you so much for all your time and effort put into creating and maintaining this invaluable resource!
I’ve got a dilemma here. Shopping for mattresses in a pandemic goes without saying, but it’s only part of the issue.
I have a connective tissue disease called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS), and this basically means that my tendons and ligaments are lax and don’t do a decent job holding me together. I have arthritis all throughout my spine, especially my neck, and my nerves can get pinched there. The effect while sleeping is that my spine can neither support itself well nor resist pressure. So…even more so than the average side-sleeper, I need a mattress that allows me to sink in so that I have no pressure points, yet keeps my spine supported and aligned.
We have been sleeping on a Purple Hybrid Premier 4 since July 15th. Purple had a lot of recommendations from other EDS sufferers, and buckling column gel looked very promising indeed. (Tempur-Pedic and Sleep Number were also highly recommended). We liked the feel of the Purple when trying it out in person. However, it didn’t take long at home to become apparent that it is actually not soft enough for us. From the responses I got on my reddit post, I know this seems pretty out there, but it’s true. And yes, we are using Purple’s own proprietary mattress pad and stretchy sheets!
My shoulder cannot sink in far enough and the surface actually feels resistant to the point that it can impinge my circulation in my arm. I’ve started having trouble with my shoulder joints and nerve pinching again. It seems that those parts of my body don’t weigh enough to sink in. My husband also finds that his hips sink down more than his shoulders sink in and he doesn’t feel his lower back is supported. The mattress also appears to be unevenly soft across its surface.
We’ve tried everything we can to make it more tolerable–turning it around, loosening the fitted sheet, taking off the mattress protector, taking off the sheet–and we’ve just plain determined it’s not going to work out. The effect is only getting more disturbing with time, not better.
We live in Georgia, but there aren’t many local options for field-testing materials…just Mattress Firm, pretty much. Due to the pandemic, we haven’t been traveling. We might have to take another chance with a mattress just because of the times. In store, we did try a couple of Intellibeds (husband said they “felt weird”), several Tempur-Pedics (we liked the softest LuxeAdapt best, and it’s softer than the Purple we have), and some S-brand hybrids with memory foam tops (ok to good, but we’re concerned with durability).
My only experience with latex bedding is the Purple Harmony pillow that I now have. This consists of a sleeve of buckling column gel with a Talalay latex core. It would be most ideal if it were a tiny bit thinner (I got the thinner of the two heights offered), but it’s still the best pillow I’ve ever had. It is yielding and squishy, but never loses its support through the night like down, poly-fill, or memory foam always did to me. Sometimes, it does feel too firm, but maybe that’s the thickness issue; I have small shoulders.
Some specs:
[ul]
[li]Our foundation is a good adjustable queen.
[li]I am 5’5", ~127 lbs, strictly a side-sleeper. I sleep with a pillow between my knees to keep my hips from hurting and to support the arm/shoulder I’m not lying on.
[li]My husband is 5’10", ~143 lbs, side/back-sleeper.
[li]Both of us prefer a mattress with a soft, deeply conforming feel that keeps the spine evenly aligned. We will sacrifice cooling if necessary in order to achieve a good cradle, but cooling is still something we value. We also would prefer a mattress cover that would protect from, oh, say, a cat throwing up on the bed. Mattress thickness/height is not a particular concern, so long as we get the comfort and durability we need and the bedding fits.
[li]Both of us can sometimes overheat at night. No latex allergies. We do have dust mite allergies. Synthetic materials are fine when their performance is specifically desired/superior. Same deal for natural materials; we would favor organic in this category simply for the benefit to the environment. (In other words, we’re not primarily concerned about chemicals from synthetics if they’re not perceptible.)
[li]Budget: Anything under the $3,500+ price of the Tempur-Pedic LuxeAdapt is a win. We would of course like to save as much money as possible, but not to sacrifice comfort and durability.[/ul]
After all that blathering, our main questions are:
[ul]
[li]Are there any mattresses that you think would fit the bill that would be absolutely worth ordering?
[/ul]Or–
- Are there specific combinations of components (and sources for these, if possible) that would be a great bet in terms of a DIY mattress?
For instance, I am attracted to the idea of a thick, durable memory foam comfort layer over a Talalay transitional layer over a firmer latex (Dunlop?) base. I don’t know if this is an odd combination. A good pocket coil base would also be fine…would it ventilate more or just let dust mites in? If this would work, what would my ideal thicknesses be? 4" memory foam? 4" Talalay? (and how firm?) How firm and which latex for the base? I understand that over 5 lb per square foot density memory foam is ideal and would seek this out.
Basically, can anyone suggest what we should do?
Thank you so much for your help in advance. Getting rid of our old mattress* and trying the Purple was certainly a step in the right direction, but my shoulders really are hurting now!
[ul]*For a shock or a laugh, here’s what were we sleeping on before: a full-sized Stearns & Foster “Northwood” innerspring mattress and matching box spring that were at least 36 years old…older than me! Without the 2-inch memory foam topper we had on it, it was actually impossible to fall asleep. I’d like to thank the cat we were fostering for peeing all over it so it could finally go to mattress hell.