Hi Splendid,
I’m sorry to hear that your mattress isn’t working out as well for you as you hoped for although it’s not surprising that a mattress that is on the softer side or that would work reasonably well for you wouldn’t work as well for your husband because of the weight differential between you. The good news is that you had the foresight to choose a mattress that has a good return policy so there was little risk in trying it outside of the cost of the return.
I know I’ve linked these in my previous replies but just as a refresher there are some guidelines in post #3 here that will be helpful for those that are in higher weight ranges and there is more information in the first part of post #2 here about some of the different ways that can help accommodate a couple that have very different body types or very different needs and preferences in a mattress.
I would also reread the comments in my reply here about firmness levels because the same mattress can feel like a very different firmness for you than it would for your husband because of the differences between you. The only way to know how firm a mattress feels for you or your husband or whether the same mattress will be a good match for both of you with any certainty will be based on your own careful testing or personal experience.
[quote]I know it’s all abou the individual’s perception but would like some ideas. The price, well I’m gun shy about spending $4000 since in the last 10 years the three mattresses we have had were in that price range and not comfy after the 1st year.
Ideas anyone? [/quote]
Unfortunately it’s not possible to make specific suggestions or recommendations for someone else either for a mattress, a manufacturers/retailers, or a combination of materials or type of mattress because the first “rule” of mattress shopping is to always remember that you are the only one that can feel what you feel on a mattress and there are too many unknowns, variables, and personal preferences involved that are unique to each person to use a formula or for anyone to be able to predict or make a specific suggestion or recommendation about which mattress or combination of materials and components or which type of mattress would be the best “match” for you in terms of “comfort” or PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and Personal preferences) or how a mattress will “feel” to you based on specs (either yours or a mattress) or “theory at a distance” that can possibly be more accurate than your own careful testing (hopefully using the testing guidelines in step 4 of the tutorial) or your own personal sleeping experience (see mattress firmness/comfort levels in post #2 here).
Having said that … there is more about the different ways to choose a suitable mattress (either locally or online) that is the best “match” for you in terms of “comfort” and PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and Personal preferences) in post #2 here that can help you assess and minimize the risks of making a choice that doesn’t turn out as well as you hoped for. With careful testing (hopefully using the testing guidelines in the tutorial) a local purchase can have very high odds of success but for those that are making an online choice that they can’t test before a purchase, have a history of choosing mattresses that are unsuitable for them, have body types or health considerations that are more challenging and make choosing the most suitable mattress more difficult, or that for whatever reason are more uncertain about whether their choice is “right” for them then the options you have available after a purchase to fine tune the comfort or support of the mattress or to exchange or return the mattress or individual layers can become a much more important part of each person’s personal value equation. Exchange or return options are built in to the cost of a mattress so the majority of people who don’t return or exchange a mattress or a layer are the ones who pay for the minority of people who do.
There is also more about the most important parts of the “value” of a mattress purchase in post #13 here which which can help you make more meaningful quality/value comparisons between the mattresses they each carry in terms of suitability (how well you will sleep), durability (how long you will sleep well), and the overall value of a mattress compared to your other finalists (based on all the parts of your personal value equation that are most important to you).
The tutorial includes several links to lists of the better online options I’m aware of (in the optional online step) that include a very wide range of different types of mattresses in different budget ranges.
If you let me know your city or zip code I’d also be happy to let you know about any of the better options or possibilities I’m aware of in your area as well that you could test in person.
Phoenix