Side Sleepers looking for Soft/Plush Mattress Recommendations!

We have an 8 year old pillow top king mattress from Denver Mattress company I believe it is the “Madison” model. We really liked this mattress but when moved from CO to WA a year ago it seems to have really gotten messed up during the move, there are noticeable dips in it now. My husband is complaining that he can feel the springs and he has started to wake up every day with severe back pain. I have noticed the dips and don’t sleep well either. Time for a new mattress.

For some reason we thought that our mattress had become too “soft” and thought we needed a firmer bed. We bought the Ghostbed and this turned out to be a huge mistake. It was so hard it felt like sleeping on the floor, we are both side sleepers and we could not sleep on this mattress longer than a few nights as our limbs were falling asleep and it was just too painful. We realized we prefer a plush feeling and need a soft mattress that just isn’t broken down like our old one.

I have been researching mattresses for months now and cannot decide on anything. I am fearful of picking the wrong mattress again as I found the return process for the Ghostbed quite painful. We went to a mattress store to test a few types of mattresses out. We aren’t sure if memory foam or latex would be right for us, the only memory foam bed that felt soft enough was the “tempur cloud luxe” which is their softest model and I have not found anything super comparable in a cheaper price range. (Probably closest thing is the novosbed but I found out they had a 60 night minimum trial and this makes me not want to try them)

Because of this I am thinking of sticking with traditional pillow top innerspring mattresses and have almost purchased the Saatva in plush soft several times. It just feels like so much money for a mattress that may not even last 8 years. I’ve also considered buying the same model from Denver Mattress again but the reviews seem to indicate that mattress is only good for 6-7 years (similar to our experience).

We are both in our early 30’s husband is 6’1, 165 pounds. I’m 5’8 165 pounds. We both sleep 95% on our side 5% on back. Need a soft bed or limbs fall asleep. Prefer plush feeling beds similar to pillow top. Would prefer to spend around $1000, would spend up to $1500 if for right mattress. Prefer an easy to deal with company in case mattress is not right for us.

I’ve considered the Helix as it seems they can customize it to feel soft but I have read for some side sleepers it is not “soft enough”.

I’ve considered the Novosbed but I’m turned off by the 60 day trial requirement.

I’ve considered the Alexander Signature soft and I’m not sure on this one still, but I dislike that you have to find a charity to donate it too if it isn’t the right mattress. (We had an extremely difficult time finding one to donate the Ghostbed to and had to find a way to deliver it ourselves)

I’ve considered the Soft Brooklyn Bedding mattress but when I asked the representative about it she seemed worried it might not be soft enough.

I’m still considering and leaning towards the Saatva Plush soft but it’s over our budget and it doesn’'t sound like it is anything super special for the price.

Have any side sleepers on here with similar preferences had good luck with any of these mattresses or could you recommend one that has worked well for you? We are becoming desperate for a good nights sleep but have become paralyzed by indecision. Thanks!

Hi unclecrystal,

Welcome to the Mattress Forum! :slight_smile:

Unfortunately this can happen often in moving. A mattress can be bent past normal limits, or materials can shift depending upon transport position and the level of securing of internal materials when the mattress was constructed.

This certainly could have been the case, as foam materials tend to get softer over time, but too often people confuse surface softness with firm support. It’s best to differentiate between the “deep support”, which is mainly provided by the support core or innerspring unit, and the surface comfort, which is mainly determined by the padding materials on top. It is possible to have both “firm” support, but also a more “plush” surface comfort.

Your own personal testing will always be the best as far as determining comfort preference, and while the Ghostbed does use 1.5" of synthetic Dunlop latex and 2" of 4 lb memory foam on top of its 7" 2 lb polyfoam core, for you that wasn’t enough surface plushness, in either the overall softness of the material or perhaps even the depth of the “comfort cradle”.

The process I recommend for selecting a mattress is to begin by reading the mattress shopping tutorial here which includes all the basic information, steps, and guidelines that can help you make the best possible choice … and perhaps more importantly know how and why to avoid the worst ones.

Two of the most important links in the tutorial that I would especially make sure you’ve read are post #2 here which has more about the different ways to choose a suitable mattress (either locally or online) that is the best “match” for you in terms of “comfort”, firmness, and PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and your own Personal preferences) that can help you assess and minimize the risks of making a choice that doesn’t turn out as well as you hoped for and post #13 here which has more about the most important parts of the “value” of a mattress purchase which can help you make more meaningful quality/value comparisons between mattresses in terms of suitability (how well you will sleep), durability (how long you will sleep well), and the overall value of a mattress compared to your other finalists based on all the parts of your personal value equation that are most important to you (including the price of course and the options you have available after a purchase if your choice doesn’t turn out as well as you hoped for).

Outside of PPP (which is the most important part of “value”), the next most important part of the value of a mattress purchase is durability which is all about how long you will sleep well on a mattress. This is the part of your research that you can’t see or “feel” and assessing the durability and useful life of a mattress depends on knowing the specifics of its construction and the type and quality of the materials inside it regardless of the name of the manufacturer on the label or how a mattress feels in a showroom or when it is relatively new so I would always make sure that you find out the information listed here so you can compare the quality of the materials and components to the durability guidelines here to make sure there are no lower quality materials or weak links in a mattress that would be a cause for concern relative to the durability and useful life of a mattress before making any purchase.

I believe they have a 30 day trial period and then ask that the product be donated to a local charity if a return is approved, which is becoming quite “standard” with boxed-bed online mattresses. I’m not sure how this might become a “painful” process, but maybe what was required for you was different.

Memory foam and latex have very different feels, with latex having a higher resilient comfort (more buoyant) and memory foam having more hysteresis (returning less energy, less supportive). Of course, all the layers of a mattress work together, so your overall comfort will be determined by the entire mattress, not just the top layer of comfort material, which is why it is important to learn of everything within a mattress as I linked to earlier.

Novosbed does require you to keep their mattress for 60 days before requesting a return, but after 30 days you may request a Comfort+ kit to fine-tune your softness. There will be a break in and adjustment period for any new mattress or sleeping system as the mattress loses any of its “false firmness” and the cover stretches and loosens a little and your body gets used to a sleeping surface that is different from what it is used to (see post #3 here). This would typically be a few weeks but it can be shorter or longer depending on the specifics of the person and the mattress. Many online mattress companies (and brick and mortar stores offering similar policies) require you to keep their product for at least 30 days to go through this adjustment period, for both you and the mattress.

Pillowtop is not a comfort designation, but a construction process (pillowtops mattresses can feel hard or soft), so don’t choose a mattress based upon that. Instead, use the guidelines as I posted earlier.

I would be cautious though about using other people’s feedback as a reliable indication about the durability of a mattress or how long it will maintain its comfort and support for you because a mattress that would be a durable choice for one person may not be nearly as durable for someone else depending their body type and sleeping positions and on where they are inside the comfort/support range that is suitable for them. For example if a mattress is “on the edge” of being too soft for a particular person then it may not take long at all before even minimal foam softening puts them outside the comfort/support range that is suitable for them and the mattress may no longer be suitable to sleep on even though the materials are still in relatively good condition while for someone else where the same mattress is well inside the comfort/support range that is suitable for them it may last for many years (see post #2 here).

The most reliable way to assess the quality and durability of a mattress regardless of the name of the manufacturer on the label is to make sure you know the type and quality of all the materials inside it so you can identify any lower quality materials or weak links in the mattress.

It’s always more realistic to think of about 7-10 years as a reasonable expectation for a mattress with better quality materials and then treat any additional time after that as “bonus time” because after about 10 years the limiting factor in the useful life of a mattress will often be the changing needs and preferences of the person sleeping on the mattress and even if a mattress is still in good condition after a decade … a mattress that was suitable for someone 10 years earlier may not be the best “match” any longer.

Post #2 here has some generic guidelines for different body types and sleeping positions, and side sleepers generally do require a bit extra plushness or contouring in the upper layers of the mattress, but again whether or not the mattress is a pillowtop doesn’t matter.

While price is certainly important of course … the “value” of a mattress purchase is what is most important and price is just one of many factors that can affect the “value” of a mattress purchase. There isn’t a “formula” that can be used to assess or “calculate” the value of a mattress because there are so many different variables and criteria involved that can affect the price of a mattress that can each be more or less important to some people and not to others who may have completely different criteria or definitions of “value”. The value of a mattress purchase is also relative to how a mattress compares to the other finalists you are considering or to other mattresses that are available to you in your area (or online if you are also considering online options). There are many reasons that a mattress that may be “good value” for one person or in one area of the country may not be good value for someone else that has very different needs and preferences or that lives in a different area. There is more about the 3 most important parts of the “value” of a mattress purchase in post #13 here.

While other people’s comments about the knowledge and service of a particular business can certainly be very helpful … I would always keep in mind that you are the only one that can feel what you feel on a mattress and I would be cautious about using anyone else’s suggestions, experiences or reviews on a specific mattress (either positive or negative) or review sites in general as a reliable source of information or guidance about how you will feel on the same mattress or how suitable or how durable a mattress may be for you. In many if not most cases they can be more misleading than helpful because a mattress that would be a perfect choice for one person or even a larger group of people in terms of comfort, firmness, and PPP may be completely unsuitable for someone else to sleep on (even if they are in a similar weight range). In other words … reviews or other people’s experiences in general won’t tell you much if anything about the suitability, quality, durability, or “value” of a mattress for any particular person (see post #13 here).

As I mentioned earlier most online mattress companies have some sort of a minimum timeframe for you to keep the mattress (30 days is usually the minimum) before a return, and it does take time for your body to adjust to a new mattress and for it to break-in as well. Novosbed offers their Comfort+ kit option after 30 days.

If approved for a return, donating to a charity is more and more common with simplified choice mattresses, so if you find this to be too difficult for your location/situation, I would make sure that you are aware beforehand of any return/exchange polices that a manufacturer may have, and make that a priority on your pro/com list.

In the soft version, this product uses 2" of a 13 ILD and 2" of an 18 ILD 4 lb polyfoam in the comfort layers, which will be more resilient than memory foam, but not as resilient as latex in its “feel”.

When you can’t test a mattress in person, then the most reliable source of guidance is always a more detailed phone conversation with a knowledgeable and experienced retailer or manufacturer that has your best interests at heart and who can help “talk you through” the specifics of their mattresses and the properties and “feel” of the materials they are using (fast or slow response, resilience, firmness etc.) and the options they have available that may be the best “match” for you based on the information you provide them, any local testing you have done or mattresses you have slept on and liked or other mattresses you are considering that they are familiar with, and the “averages” of other customers that are similar to you. They will know more about “matching” their specific mattress designs, options, and firmness levels to different body types, sleeping positions, and preferences (or to other mattresses that they are familiar with) than anyone else, and I would trust the advice they provide (Both Brooklyn Bedding and Nest Bedding are site members here, so I would definitely trust their thoughts, as I they are quite knowledgeable about mattresses and configurations). If the representative from BB thought that their product wasn’t going to meet your needs, I would certainly strongly consider their opinion.

A good online retailer or manufacturer will generally make suggestions that they honestly believe have the best chance of success based on the information you provide them when you talk to them on the phone because this is in both your own and their best interests but again … at the end of the day the only way to know for certain whether any specific mattress is a good match for you in terms of comfort, firmness, and PPP will be based on your own careful testing and/or your own personal experience so if you can’t test a specific mattress in person then the options you have available after a purchase to either exchange the mattress or individual layers or components or return the mattress for a refund (and any costs involved) would generally become a more important part of your personal value equation just in case a mattress you purchase doesn’t turn out as well as you hoped for.

There is more information about the Saatva mattresses in the simplified choice thread post #2 here.

Overall, the best advice I can provide is to follow the steps outlined in the mattress shopping tutorial that I linked to earlier. And it may be that in your case you’ll be better served by shopping closer to home. One of the advantages of trying mattresses locally is that you can try many different types and styles and combinations of materials and components and firmness levels and compare them to each other in “real time” based on your actual experience rather than just “theory” instead of trying one online mattress at a time and not knowing how it compares to the other mattresses that you could have tried or purchased instead (see post #4 here and post #10 here).

Phoenix

I have researched so many mattresses and tried 4 all to be returned as they were not comfortable. So the first was the Saatva Zenhaven, which has 2 sides, one firm and the other plush. Both were too firm for me so it went back, even though the Saatva company reps stated it needed to be broken in, Excuse me, but I want a bed that is comfortable from day one, none of this breaking in business. I then bought the Saatva Plush Soft in a full size for my murphy bed guest room in the 11.5". It is the best, most comfortable bed in the world!!! So because I always wanted to try an organic latex bed I researched the Naturepedic bed and found a retailer that had them to lay on and try before buying. I layed on a few and decided to get the firm coils and soft plush 3" latex top. Upon the delivery and first night sleeping on it it was way too firm, not the feel of the one in the showroom. These mattresses are non-returnable, they will only switch out the coils or latex layers. So they sent a softer coil layer, and replaced the soft latex but this combination was still not soft enough. Also beware that any latex mattresses you only lay on the surface, there is no sinking into the bed. I didn’t care for this at all. After much complaining about my not being happy and not wanting this bed they agreed to let me return it but it cost me $150 X2. Shipping both ways. Just to get rid of it was worth it as the queen size was pricey at $2,900.00.
So I am still now without my queen bed so I am sleeping on the full size Saatva Plush Soft guest bed and am so in love with this bed to where I can’t wait to go to bed and hate getting out of the bed in the morning.
So I ordered the same in a queen for my room and had it delivered and the first night I am sleeping on it it felt way more firm than my full size bed. After comparing the law tags on each and they list the components in a percentage I noticed there was less foam in the queen than the full. So I think that is why my queen is not as soft but why aren’t they the same feel? I am now talking to the Saatva company and the place that builds these beds to see what went wrong. I am hoping they can remedy this and build me a bed to feel softer like the one they built and I received in the full size. I will update as I get the results.

Hi Cntygal4evrr54,

Welcome to the Mattress Forum! :slight_smile:

I’m sorry you’re returning 4 beds, but the Saatva representative was correct. There will be a break in and adjustment period for any new mattress or sleeping system as the mattress loses any of it’s “false firmness” and the cover stretches and loosens a little and your body gets used to a sleeping surface that is different from what it is used to (see post #3 here). This would typically be a few weeks but it can be shorter or longer depending on the specifics of the person and the mattress. It may be that even with the break-in period you wouldn’t enjoy the comfort of this particular product, but all mattresses will break-in to some degree.

The new mattress wouldn’t have the feel of the model in the showroom, for the reasons I linked to earlier in this reply.

Yes, not all manufacturers allow for returns, so it incumbent upon consumers to become familiar and comfortable with any potential return/exchange policy that a retailer/manufacturer offers. It sounds like they worked hard to accommodate you, even allowing a return.

That would be incorrect information, and I’d caution against relating your own personal experience or opinion as an absolute that someone else might read and mistake as factual information. Latex is available in many varied ILDs (softnesses) and is a very point elastic material. Even firmer latex, while being a very resilient material, can still be quite accommodating. Some people don’t prefer the more buoyant feel that latex offers, but remember that all of the layers within a mattress contribute to the overall comfort experienced.

Depending upon the use the guest room mattress had, this would be normal, due to the breaking-in process I mentioned earlier. Also, if you have a different support structure/foundation under the guest room in the Murphy Bed versus your master bedroom, this can also provide a different comfort, along with different mattress pads/fitted sheets. There’s also always variation in the assembly of a mattress and the tightness of the quilt panel and joining of that quilt panel to the side panel, as well as variations within the IFDs of the foam layers. All of this can be normal with a hand-made product.

The overall amount of foam isn’t listed on a law tag, but it is a percentage based upon weight. There can be variations based upon the size of the product, and also in rounding and variations in the foam itself, as well as potential production differences in the various licensees producing the product for Saatva (if the two beds came from a different facility). You’d have to check with Saatva regarding your query to determine if there is truly was an error in production, or if the difference is part of the normal variations experienced in mattress production, some of which I listed here in this post.

Phoenix

I work at mattress firm and I can get you a sweet quote for a mattress that would be just right.

Also if your thinking about Tempurpedics consider the dream bed as well. Over 1000 dollars less and it’s a better mattress with better support

I was looking at a Mattress Firm Dream Bed Lux and while they claim to use some high density 5.3 lb memory foam there are no further details given on the density of each of the layers. I contacted Mattress Firm via their website and promptly received a response from a manager in their corporate office stating that he would check with their manufacturer (Sinomax) to get the detailed info and get back to me asap. Then I never heard anything further, so they’re far from transparent about the construction of this “exclusive” line of mattresses.

Hi Sweet Dreams,

I deleted the two posts you responded to (an overzealous manager attempting to promote on the forum), but I appreciate you taking the time to respond.

Phoenix