Hi Lili.
Welcome to our Mattress Forum! 
I understand why you would want to avoid the trial and error process of 5 choices of one size fits all types of mattresses. Unfortunately, even with knowing all specs you may still have difficulties ensuring that you get the firmness/softness that would be the best match for both you and for your husband. Of course we’re always happy to help with “how” to choose, to act as a "fact check, or to help find better manufacturers or retailers that have better quality and value but “what” to choose in terms of either a mattress or the balance between comfort/pressure relief and support/alignment that may be suitable for a specific person is always up to the only person who can feel what they feel on a mattress and can be validated only by personal testing or … a more detailed discussions with the more knowledgeable people at the retailers or manufacturers that sell a mattress you are considering…. the mattress that is best for each person (or a couple) is a matter of preference and which mattress design works best for their individual needs and preferences in terms of PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and Personal preferences). The mattress that works best for each person is as unique as people themselves.
It is difficult to make comparisons based on the internal firmness rating of the manufacturers themselves and also because all the layers and materials and the design are different for each mattress and every small difference between two mattresses can either have a cumulative effect or an offsetting effect that is very difficult for even a knowledgeable and experienced online manufacturer or retailer to predict how will work out for each individual. It can be surprising to many people how different they can feel (especially when most people only pay attention only to the IFD/ILD numbers of the foam layers and not to all the other specs or components that can make a significant difference in how a mattress feels and performs). This is especially true for those that are more sensitive and have a narrower “range” for a mattress that will work well or them.
The best suggestion I could make is to read through How to find the best mattress for you in post #1 here and the information it links to with basic information which can act as a reference to help you know who has the knowledge and experience to help you make good choices that are suitable for your needs and preferences and who is only interested in selling you whatever they can.
I am not sure which of the 3 models provided by Bear you are looking at, but you can read about their original 10" mattress in the simplified choice thread here with specs changes here, and more about experiences other forum members have had with Silk & Snow here and Bear here.
Looking forward to hearing about your choice and any other questions you might have.
Phoenix