soft mattress

I am a thin woman, and as I get older I seem to require a softer mattress. I am currently sleeping on a mattress that was great when I purchased it years ago, when I liked something that was firm, but with “give,” and I have a 4" foam topper, the kind with stalagmites, on top of it. You would think this would provide enough cushioning but I find that my hips feel bruised when I lie on either side too long, so I am turning back and forth all night. (I am primarily a side sleeper.) I tried lying on a bunch of mattresses, both coil and memory foam, in a Sleepy’s before I discovered this site and found that I had the same problem with almost all of them. Any suggestions? I would prefer to try before I buy but would consider an online purchase if it seemed better and/or cheaper than other options and had a good return policy. We don’t have a car, so we can’t schlep a mattress back to a store if we don’t like it. We live in Brooklyn, NY.

Hi GinaTrent,

In technical terms the softness of a material (called either the IFD or the ILD) is usually measured by how much weight it takes to compress a 4" thick square of foam material down to 3" using a round compressor plate that is 50 sq inches in area (or in the case of latex a 6" square of material down to 4.5"). What this means is that the more “give” it has the softer it will be. Firm materials have less give than softer materials.

In real life though there are a number of factors that determine how soft or firm a material will feel to different people besides just the ILD/IFD including the compression modulus (how quickly it becomes firmer when you compress it more deeply), the thickness of the topper, and the point resilience of the topper (how well it comforms to the shape of the body). There is more about this in post #4 here. Other factors that can affect softness are the effect of temperature and humidity (in the case of temperature sensitive materials) and the body type and sleeping positions of the person (a topper that is too firm for one person can be too soft for another because softness itself is also subjective). In addition to this … the materials and components in the mattress under a topper will also affect how soft the topper feels so the same topper can feel and perform very differently on two different mattresses.

If your mattress is old and has developed soft spots, impressions, or sagging then a topper may not be helpful since the topper will “follow” any soft spots or sagging in your mattress. It’s possible that the topper you have is too thick and soft or that in combination with some sagging or soft spots in your mattress that your hips are sinking in too far and so they are bending or flexing outside their neutral range which can also cause soreness.

Because of all the variables involved it can take some trial and error to find the type of material and the thickness and softness of a topper that works best for you on the mattress you have (providing it doesn’t have any soft spots) but there is more information about choosing a topper in post #2 here and the topper guidelines it links to that can help you use your sleeping experience on your mattress without a topper as a guideline for your topper choice. It also includes a link to some of the better online sources for toppers I’m aware of.

If may also be helpful to find a mattress that works well for you so that you can use it as a reference point to help you assess how much more thickness and softness you may need on top of the mattress you have. Mattresses that don’t work won’t help you much but if you can find a mattress that does and you are able to find out what is inside it (particularly in the upper layers) then it could be a useful reference point.

The better options and possibilities I’m aware of in the New York area are listed in post #2 here and while these are for mattresses if you call them you will probably find that there are several of them that carry toppers that you can test (preferably on a mattress that is similar to yours so you can test a similar combination) and I do know that Dixiefoam carries latex, polyfoam, and memory foam toppers. NOTE ADDED: They are now a member of this site as well

Phoenix