Hi katooom400,
[quote]My wife tried and really liked the new Tempur-Flex Prima bed…which is strange for her since she does not like the “squishy clay like feel” of memory foam… The Prima is a hybrid with coils and memory foam and is advertised as med/firm leaning more towards med. the floor model felt soft enough for both of us, so we kicked in another $1500 and went for it.
The mattress was delivered 2 days ago and it feels WAY firmer than the one in the store…so much so that even I am having a hard time sleeping in it @ 205lbs. my poor wife @ 110lbs says it’s like sleeping on the floor and is very disappointed. and I don’t blame her…we just spent over 3k and are in pain…
I’m hoping the mattress will soften up some as we use it. I called the store and they said: “don’t worry it will break in, and feel just like the one in the store…give it about a month.”[/quote]
There is more about the Tempurpedic Flex mattresses in post #4 here.
It’s not unusual that a new mattress will feel firmer than the same mattress that you tested in a store because there will be a break in and adjustment period for any new mattress or sleeping system as the mattress loses any of it’s “false firmness” and the cover stretches and loosens a little and the materials settle and your body gets used to a sleeping surface that is different from what it is used to (see post #3 here). This would typically be a few weeks but it can be shorter or longer depending on the specifics of the person and the mattress. Some of the comments in post #2 here may also be helpful.
I would generally try to give any new mattress at least a couple of weeks (if possible) before considering any changes or additions to the mattress.
[quote]my concern is I just don’t know if we can sleep on this rock for another month…I have been thinking about purchasing a topper to soften things up a bit until the mattress “breaks in” or we return it… But I don’t know what type of topper to look at? she doesn’t like the “clay” feel of memory foam, and I don’t like heat, so I was thinking Latex…but they can be pricey (king size) and if I end up returning the tempurpedic then I’m stuck with an expensive topper…
Any advice is greatly appreciated…saving money doesn’t come easy and we feel like we just flushed over $3,500 [/quote]
Choosing the type of topper or the type of material in a topper would be a preference choice rather than a “better/worse” choice because different people can have very different preferences. The most reliable way to know which type of topper material you tend to prefer in general will be based on your own local testing either on different toppers or on mattresses that use similar materials in their top layers as the topper you are considering.
There are many different types and chemical formulations of memory foam and some of them are less temperature sensitive and “clay like” and have a faster response time than others but all memory foam has a very low resilience (springiness). Some types of memory foam are also more breathable than others and have less effect on sleeping temperature but memory foam in general tends to sleep warmer for some people than other types of foam materials (latex foam or polyfoam). There is more about the different properties that can be formulated into memory foam in post #9 here and post #8 here.
Latex in general is a much more resilient (springy) material than memory foam and is also more breathable and “temperature neutral”. There is more about the differences between memory foam and latex in post #2 here.
Polyfoam tends to be somewhat in between memory foam and latex but would be closer to latex because all memory foam has little to no resilience at all. Most people are familiar with the feel of polyfoam in general because it is the material that is used in most couch cushions and upholstered chairs (although polyfoam in furniture that is designed for sitting will often be firmer than polyfoam used as a mattress topper).
If a mattress is too firm then a good quality topper can certainly be an effective way to add some additional softness and pressure relief although the only way to know whether a specific mattress/topper combination is a good “match” for you in terms of PPP is based on your own careful testing or personal experience on the combination. If you can’t test the combination in person then there is always some risk and uncertainty involved in adding a topper because the specifics of the mattress itself along with your own body type, sleeping position, and preferences can affect which specific topper would be a suitable choice on any specific mattress.
There is more information about choosing a topper in post #2 here and the topper guidelines it links to which along with a conversation with a reliable supplier that can provide you with good information about how their toppers compare to each other or to other toppers they are familiar with that are available on the market can help you use your sleeping experience as a reference point and guideline to help you choose the type, thickness, and firmness for a topper that has the least possible risk and the best chance for success. It also includes a link to a list of some of the better online sources for toppers I’m aware of and a link to the online suppliers that have good exchange/return policies as well.
If you do end up making a suitable topper choice and a mattress/topper combination turns out to be a good “match” for you in terms of PPP then it also has the advantage that it allows you to replace just the topper without replacing the entire mattress if it softens or breaks down before the upper foam layers in the mattress (the upper layers or a sleeping system tend to soften or break down before the deeper layers) or if your needs or preferences change over time and a topper can also help extend the useful life of the mattress underneath it.
I would also keep in mind that adding a softer topper on top of a mattress that has memory foam in the comfort layers can reduce the amount of heat that reaches the memory foam and if the memory foam is more temperature sensitive it can firm up the memory foam underneath the topper (or at least lengthen the time it takes for the memory foam to soften with your body heat) so you can end up with a somewhat unusual combination of having a softer top layer and a firmer layer underneath it at the same time.
Overall though … if you are purchasing a topper “blind” and you don’t know what it will feel like on your mattress then I would limit your choices to retailers that have a good exchange/return policies just in case your topper choice doesn’t work out as well as you hope for.
Phoenix