Hi caldwa,
I would be very cautious about using someone else’s experience on any mattress (either positive or negative) as a meaningful source of guidance about how a mattress will feel for you because firmness and softness is very subjective and relative to different people (a mattress that feels firm for one person can feel soft for someone else) and each person can be very different. There are also different types of firmness and softness that different people may be more or less sensitive to (see post #15 here) and a mattress that is a “perfect” match for one person in terms of PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, or Personal preferences) may be completely unsuitable for someone else to sleep on … even if they are in similar weight ranges. Using other people’s mattress reviews or experiences as a meaningful source of research and information can often be more misleading than helpful (see post #13 here).
There is also more about the more common “symptoms” that people may experience on a mattress and some of the more common reasons for them in post #2 here.
There is also more about primary or “deep” support and secondary or “surface” support and their relationship to firmness and pressure relief and the “roles” of different layers in a mattress in post #2 here and in post #4 here that may also be helpful in clarifying the difference between “support” and “pressure relief”. The upper layers of a mattress (the synthetic latex and 4 lb memory foam layers in the Casper and the high density polyfoam in the Tuft & Needle) provides most of the pressure relief and “feel” of a mattress and the deeper layers (the 1.8 lb polyfoam) provides most of the support.
Post #2 here also has more about the different ways to choose a mattress (either locally or online) that can help to minimize the risks involved with each of them and there is also more about the most important parts of the “value” of a mattress purchase in post #13 here that can help you make more meaningful comparisons between mattresses without having to rely on anyone else’s experience that may be very different from your own.
If your Casper mattress is too firm for you there are some suggestions in post #2 here that may be helpful and I also understand that they provide their customers with a topper as an option if they need some additional pressure relief but if neither of these work then of course the only alternative would be to return it and start over again.
The only way to know whether any mattress will be a good match for you in terms of PPP with any certainty will be based on your own testing or sleeping experience. With a “one size fits all” mattress where there is only one firmness option you will generally find that it will be the “best” match for a relatively small percentage of the population, a “good” match for a larger percentage, an “OK” match for a larger percentage yet … and for those where it’s not a “good enough” match then they all have a good return policy that lets you start all over again choosing another mattress with little risk outside of the time you spent trying the mattress or returning it.
Phoenix