Hi ctipz,
You may be able to add the picture with explorer or if you have difficulty you can also email it to me and I can add it to your post. I’m hopeful that the software migration/upgrades I have been working on for some time will solve the attachment issues when they are completed.
From your description though … it points to the likelihood of a support/alignment issue and you may need a mattress with firmer primary support (from the deeper layers of the mattress) under your pelvis to better “hold up” your pelvic girdle and keep your spine in its neutral alignment or thinner/firmer comfort layers that will keep you closer to the deeper support layers and also help “stop” your pelvic girdle from sinking in too far… The thickness of the 4 lb memory foam in your mattress (5.75 inches) is also a somewhat risky construction and could also point to this.
Your wife’s issues seem to be more pressure relief related. Does she have any actual "symptoms or is it more a matter of the “feel” of the mattress. This could probably be fine tuned with a fairly thin topper or mattress pad but may also just be a matter of getting used to a new sleeping surface or the difference between the response of memory foam and what she is used to sleeping on. It’s much easier to “fix” a mattress that is too firm than a mattress that is to soft in the support layers or too thick and soft in the comfort layers because this would require removing or exchanging layers rather than just adding to them. There could also be an additional risk of making your symptoms worse if you add more thickness to the comfort layers of your mattress.
If you do exchange the mattress … I would make sure you do some very careful and objective testing to make sure you are in the best possible alignment in all your sleeping positions and I would lean towards a mattress that provides firmer primary support (see post #5 here).
Phoenix