We decided to get a new king mattress when we moved in 2019 (mattress was old but still good… what a mistake that was/not sure of brand) We have been looking for a mattress that is medium soft without sinking in so far since every mattress in the past few years had polyfoam or memory foam or both which is horrible. First one was a beautyrest 1000 with no support and then a Sealy surrey lane which seemed great a beginning and then failed with dips all over, and major sinkage within 6 to 8 months.This has created a nightmare for my hips and back… I have been searching for a mattress again for over 1 year now and after finding your site it has really helped in eliminating many by get all the great info you provided. I have tried many of these bed in a box like wink bed (too firm) Saatva(luxury firm too firm and soft had too much sinkage) and Nolah evolution too much sinking after 30 days. Latex hybrid is the way we are going but I don’t know which idl is best for myself and my husband since we are different sizes but always had medium soft pillowtop but with materials changing I don’t think that is the way for us due to wool fibers just get flattened out over a period of time. We have been sleeping in separate beds for a year due to my hips can’t take the sinking anymore which seems to be a permanent problem now, mind you the extra bed I’m sleeping in is the same Sealy brand but it was never slept in due in extra bedroom but now starting to have dips as well…even where my dog would sleep at the foot of the bed at 65 lbs has started to dip. What IDL would you recommend for me, 5’7" 160lbs side sleeper 80%/ 20%back. Husband 6’0 235lbs side sleep 60% back 40% with lower back pain. I appreciate any help or info you can send my way. Who knew a mattress could create such problems on your body and be so difficult to find a good fit. I’ve tried to find a latex bed in my area with no luck. Thinking Dunlap might be too hard? Thank you
Hi Allisonsunny.
Welcome to The Mattress Underground Forum! 
It must be very frustrating for you and your husband to have to sleep in separate bedrooms for over a year because of the premature mattress sagging created for you. It seems that you’ve gained a bit of understanding of the sleeping landscape and the direction you want to go with the new bed. Good to see that you are trying to eliminating the guesswork as much as possible from the process as well.
Thanks for providing your individual specs and sharing your history with beds you owned and the ones you recently tried.
Because of the large weight differential between you and your husband you may wish to find a solution (or a common denominator) so that you can share the same bed. Your testing seems to indicate that the mattresses you tried don’t work equally well for both of you. There are several ways to accommodate people who have different needs and preferences on the same mattress which are discussed in the first part of post #2,(sleeping hot is discussed in part 2 of the post as well) but I usually recommend a side to side split mattress construction which can be one of the most effective ways to address situations like this.
Also, higher BMIs individuals have special challenges and generally require firmer materials (in the support layers especially). This could be firmer latex or innersprings (the type of support component would be a personal preference and in the right design either could be suitable) or even a zoned construction. The same overall guidelines apply with higher weights though that PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and Personal preferences) along with using high-quality durable materials that will maintain their feel and performance for longer periods of time are the way to make the best choices. Heavier people, in general, will need firmer and thicker comfort layers and firmer support layers than those who are lighter and because no materials will last as long with much higher weights the quality and durability of the materials and components is even more important than normal. I wouldn’t “rule out” any type of mattress and base your choices on your own personal testing. Post #3 here has more information and suggestions about heavier weights that are worth reading.
This is one of the most common questions on the forum (ie. which mattress type or firmness level would be better for me and my partner?) There is some fairly extensive general information in the mattresses section of the site (particularly in the sections about sleeping style, preferences, and statistics along with putting the layers together and the page on tips and tricks here ) that can give you some general concepts, guidelines, and insights about the effects of different body types, sleeping styles, and mattress designs for different people but this is only generic and not specific to any particular person and may be more complex than you really need to know.
While a latex hybrid can be a good choice, there are still a few more criteria that you’d need to specify (the mattress thickness you’d prefer and do well with, any budgetary considerations, etc.)
There are far too many variables and unknowns (body types, sleeping styles, preferences, physiology, age, health conditions, sensitivities, special circumstances etc) to use any formula, specs (either yours or a mattress), or “theory at a distance” based on basic height/weight/sleeping position information or any other person’s experience to choose a suitable mattress that can possibly be more accurate than your own careful and objective testing on local mattresses (using the testing guidelines in the tutorial post) that you can use to decide on a mattress that is “best” for you in terms of PPP (whether it is for local purchase or as a guideline for online purchase)
When personal testing on similar mattresses locally isn’t possible… then the next best way is more detailed discussions with an online manufacturer or retailer themselves. I’d start with perusing the Trusted members of our site and also TMU mattress experts to zoom in onto something you think you’d do well with. Then I’d look at any pros and cons for that mattress and start asking some questions. They are much more familiar with their own mattress designs and materials than anyone else (including me) and they can use the information you provide them about your body type and sleeping positions, your preferences, your history on different mattresses, and the results of your local testing to make suggestions based on the “averages” of other customers that may be similar to you. The more accurate and detailed the information you provide them the better you will help them to help you make the best possible choices out of the options they have available. Of course, the options you have available with each retailer or manufacturer (or with a particular mattress) and your ability to exchange layers or the mattress itself or use other forms of fine-tuning after your purchase or the return policy may also be an important part of your personal value equation or to offset the risk that can go with any online purchase.
Post #2 here also has more about the different ways to buy a suitable mattress (either locally or online) that is the best “match” for your body type, sleeping positions, and preferences that can help you assess and minimize the risks involved in each of them.
I’m always happy to help the forum subscribers here with “how” to choose, to act as a "fact check, but “what” to choose in terms of either a mattress or the balance between comfort/pressure relief and support/alignment that may be suitable for a specific person is always up to the only person who can feel what they feel on a mattress and best left to personal testing and their own experiences or more detailed discussions with the more knowledgeable people at the retailers or manufacturers that sell a mattress you are considering.
Phoenix