two very different levels of firmness needed -- any advice?

[phoenix]

Hi randy2000,

it’s looking like a coil base with a latex topper won’t work for me because even the medium firmness latex on top of coils (which is typically the softest that anyone will go) is still too firm for me.

No, there are offerings, including site members here, who can provide plush latex atop a pocketed spring unit (but maybe you were only able to sample firmer latex atop pocketed spring units in your area). But it may be that you don’t prefer the support of the pocketed spring unit (may be the cause of the “firmness” that you don’t like), or you didn’t try something using enough plush material on top of the spring unit in thickness, or what you tried wasn’t soft enough for your preference. Or you just don’t like the feel of latex overall. All could be reasons for what you felt when testing out mattresses.

A bed with firm latex on one side and a medium core/plush top on the other would maybe be an option, but even that feels much too firm for me (the plush part, that is).

Have you actually tried such a product? Or are you attempting to guess what something might feel like based upon testing latex in a dissimilar arrangement?

Also, sleeping on a full-latex bed is just really strange – there’s something about the density of latex that makes it feel even more firm than it actually is/ought to.

It may be that you don’t enjoy the resiliency and support that latex offers, even in lower ILDs. Some people don’t prefer that and instead like something that is very point elastic, but less supportive, such as a visco-elastic memory foam or some of the newer softer high performance polyfoams.

So, the other option is to have two twin mattresses of different firmness and a topper on top of them, but a firm topper will still be too hard for me and a plush one will be too soft for her.

A topper will be able to moderate surface plushness, but the overall comfort will depend upon the mattress upon which it is placed, so unless you have sampled a specific combination, you’d be unable to reliably predict if you would enjoy that combination or not. And buying a new mattress with a toper, unless there are no other viable alternatives, isn’t something I usually recommend, as it creates a second set of variables that can further complicate your mattress selection process.

Plus, 3k for a mattress that is essentially two twins cobbled together with a topper on top just seems insane to me.

Price is certainly part of everyone’s own value equation, but depending upon the materials some combinations will by default be more expensive than others. Latex, specifically natural and organic certified, tends to be one of the more expensive foam materials.

So, still striking out, I’m in pain all the time, and I have no idea what to do. Any additional help or information on your experiences would be greatly appreciated

I’m really not sure what you’re asking here. You are basically pointing out that you don’t prefer the feel of latex. So I’m guessing you’d want to search out something that doesn’t use latex, or if it does use latex it would be in thinner transition layers within the mattress. Besides the information I posted in my reply to your first post, you may wish to seek items using memory foam or softer high performance polyfoams in the upper layers which are quite point elastic but overall don’t have the same support factor that latex offers. This may be a better direction for you.

Phoenix