Hello, Phoenix!
Been a lurker here for a few years. But now I have a question.
I like some cush but I hate having my butt sink in further than my torso, and I’m having trouble finding a bed that accommodates those contradictory desires.
Considering I’m not all that heavy – 5’9", 165 pounds – I think it might just be that I’m dense (I tend not to float in water easily) and also that I have lumbar issues (herniated disc at L5) so I’m overly sensitive to it. My wife is as heavy as I am, and she doesn’t make an imprint (or divot) in the bed like I do (and she floats on water like a swan). (We’re fine with starting out in the same bed but then going separate ways for the night, so at least I’m not trying to find a bed that suits us both.)
My first bed was from SleepEZ. They were as helpful as they could be, but no combination of layers quite satisfied me. For cush, I really liked having a topper, or at least a soft layer for the top, but that left me with my butt sinking in more than I want, throwing off my alignment. Without that soft top, I was less happy both on my side and on my back. Firm (bottom) - Medium - Soft let my butt sink in too much, although I liked the feel apart from that. With Firm - Medium - Medium, even with a 1.5" memory foam topper (Aerus) the bed had too little give (my shoulder hurt when I was on my side; and my butt isn’t well-padded and hurt a little, too). With Firm - Soft - Medium, my butt was sinking in, with or without the topper; without the topper I found it hurt my shoulder when I was on my side; with the topper, I sank in even more, of course – OK on my side but not on my back. Although not perfect, the best was Firm - Soft - Medium-with-the-topper; if the topper had had a firmer middle (butt) section, that might have worked, but I haven’t found such a topper.
Next I tried a Saatva, which I still have. I think I prefer the spring-feel over the latex-feel, though in stores I’d found both comfortable. (Unfortunately, I need overnight to judge a mattress.) Although I got Saatva’s Luxury Firm, I have to say my specific bed was not as plush as I’d expected it would be. I felt like I wanted more cushioning on the moment-to-moment basis, but I figured it was fine since it was plush enough to be comfortable enough (unlike the SleepEZ with Firm-Med-Med) but left me free of back ache in the morning (unlike the SleepEZ with anything softer than Firm-Med-Med). If the Saatva could have stayed like that, I would be keeping it. It’s borderline OK still (at two months), but I expect it will just get worse. In short, the foam seems to be getting compressed too much; I don’t think it’s the springs yet. (To be fair I should mention I spend a lot of time in bed. Besides sleeping a regular eight, it’s my primary place to read, surf the net, and watch TV – so it’s maybe 15 hours each day.)
I think part of what I like with the Saatva comes from their doing something to strengthen the lumbar area. In any event, for some reason, my butt seemed to sink in less, while the mattress still had a thick somewhat cushy feel. However, I now need to move to the center of the bed, where I haven’t yet been compressing the padding, in order to have that feeling.
So I think I’d like a bed that has some kind of strengthening for the lumbar/butt area but has super-good quality foam that won’t compress much over time. One way I could maybe do this is to buy a “flippable” mattress from my local Bedrooms & More in Seattle, which uses latex for the padding on their spring mattresses and constructs their mattresses so they can be flipped. I don’t know how much longer the flipping would help the cushiness and butt support last, but it must be some. I don’t know if Bedrooms & More does anything to provide extra strength in the butt area to prevent it sinking in as much.
This might be an odd way to explain what I like, but: On the SleepEZ, I could arch my butt up off the mattress while putting all my weight on my heels and shoulders, and in doing that it felt like my butt had come up a long way from where it rested when I wasn’t arching. (Think of it like doing the plank exercise, but in reverse.) In contrast, on the Saatva, especially when new, doing this “reverse plank” seemed to pull my butt up only very slightly from where it was resting when I was just lying there. Hence, when new, I liked the Saatva better.
So maybe you know beds that extra-strengthen the lumbar/butt area or somehow or other help with what I’m looking for.
Thanks!