Thanks for the kind words!
Okay, here’s version 2.0.
We took out all of the original foam except for the thin layer right over the coils, and then laid the 60x80x2 IFD 36 across it. As expected, my wife liked it and I thought it was much too firm. We then cut it in half carefully, with scissors (you don’t need an electric turkey knife … it’s foam =) and doubled the thickness on my wife’s side, so now 4 inches of IFD 36. She thought that was wonderful.
Now for my side.
We tried putting 2 inches each of 28, then 18, then Serene 12 (listed bottom to top) but this felt somewhat firmer than I wanted and was also too thick for our shell (newbie mistake!) After puzzling a bit about what I would like to try removing from the setup, I took out the 28 and left it as 2 inches of 18 with the 2 inches of 12 over it. This was certainly very soft =) although I am still trying to decide if it gives enough support. I felt like I really liked it before we put the quilted top back on, but the quilted top made everything firmer. As one might expect, this improved my wife’s satisfaction with the mattress even further (she is now absolutely thrilled with it =) but limited my own.
So, I’d say at this point she’s 100% happy with her side and I’m maybe 80% happy with mine. I wish it were softer and also had more support – what I originally loved about the mattress (as it came from the factory) was that it somehow felt both soft and supportive.
I think the first thing I’m going to try is 12-and-28, as odd as that sounds: I’m wondering if making the transition layer firmer might improve the support feeling, and since I have an appropriately sized piece of 28 currently in the bedroom, that’s a pretty easy experiment to do.
We are wondering if putting another layer of 12 over the existing 12 - whether more Serene or its equivalent in an actual memory foam - might help with the softness side of things.
On another subject, I wanted to mention my experiences with the different vendors we used.
We bought the Serene from Allyson Brooke, the 18 and 28 from buyfoam.com, and the 36 from Foam Factory. In each case the product appeared to be exactly what I ordered (in terms of density and approximate IFD) and arrived reasonably promptly. I had originally ordered one more thing from Foam Factory but changed my mind, and emailed them to ask whether it could be taken off of the order. They replied quickly that it would be no problem, refunded the money I’d paid for that part of the order, and sent the remaining thing I had ordered.
Positioning the foam is best done with a 2nd person, I think it would have been a hassle to do it with only 2 hands since dragging it around isn’t good for it. It doesn’t weigh that much, but it is very bulky.
If you have small children, think about where you plan to let it air out. I am grateful that my foam survived having little people playing on it without suffering any damage.