Hi Deltaxdog,
The basic concept when selecting a pillow is that if you’re tall, have broad shoulders, and sleep on your side, you need a structured pillow that will support your neck and head. It should also help keep your shoulders from sinking too deeply into the mattress while maintaining the right loft to ensure proper alignment.
In general, the firmer the mattress, the loftier the pillow you’ll likely need. I’m 6’ and 220 lbs (formerly 250+), with broad shoulders, and I sleep on a very firm mattress. This means I sleep on top of the mattress rather than sinking into it.
For the longest time, I’ve used two pillows. My base pillow has been a king-size Tempur-Pedic Soft and Conforming Pillow, which is soft and conforms well, similar to their current basic Cloud Pillow.
As you’ve read from my posts, the upper pillow has changed from time to time. However, the pillows that have always worked best for me—though not necessarily for everyone—are firmer, less squishy options. Some of my favorites have been the Tempur-Pedic Dual Breeze (now Dual Cooling) and the Tempur-Pedic Cloud Pro Hi (now the Tempur-Pedic Pro Hybrid). Both of these pillows are on the firmer side, don’t sink too much, and are quite substantial and offer good support and loft.
About a year or so ago, I made a change and now rotate between three upper pillows: the firmer Horsehair Pillow (gets firmer when compressed, but returns back after compression), a fairly stuffed wool pillow, and an overstuffed (I had to add some fill over how it was originally filled) CozyPure Baa-Noodle Pillow. They all work well depending on how I’m feeling that night. However, they work best when paired with the Tempur-Pedic Cloud Pillow as the base. If I switch the base pillow to my king-sized wool pillow, the overstuffed wool pillow doesn’t work well as the upper pillow.
Recently, I had a fitting at @EuropeanSleep Works and tried the Oxygen Pillow. I had previously tried solid latex pillows with no success. Despite being firm and heavy, both Talalay and Dunlop latex pillows were too bouncy for me and didn’t provide the stability I need while sleeping. I felt like I was bouncing all over the place.
The Oxygen Pillow is designed and structured differently from other latex pillows, and I highly recommend reaching out to ESW for more details. I’ve paired it with a half-king Oxygen Wedge Topper, which eliminated the need for a two-pillow setup. The wedge is around 4" high, and combined with the firmest Oxygen Pillow (which I believe is a Firm 4), this setup has been perfect for me from Day 1, with no adjustment period needed. I’ve even been able to sleep with just the Oxygen Pillow, without the wedge, and it still works great as a single pillow.
One important note is the way you position your pillow. It may sound obvious, but ensuring your pillow is snugly tucked under your neck and pressed close to your shoulders is crucial. Some people just lay their head on the pillow, leaving a 3–4" gap between the lower edge of the pillow and their shoulders. This can cause the neck and back muscles to compensate, leading to poor alignment and discomfort.
For side sleeping versus back sleeping, it’s important to adjust and position the Oxygen Pillow differently (which they will instruct you on), so make sure you’re aware of how to adjust it for your specific sleep style.
Without seeing a picture of your sleeping position on your mattress, particularly side sleeping, it’s difficult to fully understand what might be going on. If you can provide more information on how you’re positioned, it could help in making better recommendations. The TempFLow Elite Conforma is an excellent mattress, but how you sleep in or on it, can help resolve what pillow or pillow combination, may work best. There will likely be more than one pillow combination that will work, but lets just start with finding one!
All the best,
Maverick