And I thought mattress were confusing!

[DELTAXDOG]

Hello all! I joined the form a while ago in search of the perfect mattress. That search ended when we purchased a TempFlow Elite Conforma, Firm. The mattress has been amazing! And I’m very grateful to this form, @Maverick for suggesting to look into it, and @BackScience (Dr. Rick) for all his help!

Now, after about 6 months of use, I’m waking up everyday with a very stiff neck. Im convinced its my pillow for a few reasons. Mostly because it is not a new issue and the pillow is what has never changed.

So, how does one navigate selecting a new pillow? Ive read through @Maverick post on the topic but that has just left me more confused. (Not their fault, i dont do well with tons of options because I must investigate everything)

My current bed info is listed above. I’m 6’ 3" with a 33" inseam (long uper body) 250lbs. I start out on my right side, swap to left… fall asleep, then wake up on my back. This is to the T every night. Current pillows i use are either an old school style goose feather, near flat or a low profile Temper-pedic pro cool (thats not the exact name lol) I’ve always love goose feather pillows because of a nostalgia from childhood, but that doesn’t mean its right for me. The pillows is filled with feathers, not down. I believe it is from the down and feather co.

Any thoughts, suggestions, or questions would be greatly appreciated!

[Maverick]

Hi Deltaxdog,

The basic concept when selecting a pillow is that if you’re tall, have broad shoulders, and sleep on your side, you need a structured pillow that will support your neck and head. It should also help keep your shoulders from sinking too deeply into the mattress while maintaining the right loft to ensure proper alignment.

In general, the firmer the mattress, the loftier the pillow you’ll likely need. I’m 6’ and 220 lbs (formerly 250+), with broad shoulders, and I sleep on a very firm mattress. This means I sleep on top of the mattress rather than sinking into it.

For the longest time, I’ve used two pillows. My base pillow has been a king-size Tempur-Pedic Soft and Conforming Pillow, which is soft and conforms well, similar to their current basic Cloud Pillow.

As you’ve read from my posts, the upper pillow has changed from time to time. However, the pillows that have always worked best for me—though not necessarily for everyone—are firmer, less squishy options. Some of my favorites have been the Tempur-Pedic Dual Breeze (now Dual Cooling) and the Tempur-Pedic Cloud Pro Hi (now the Tempur-Pedic Pro Hybrid). Both of these pillows are on the firmer side, don’t sink too much, and are quite substantial and offer good support and loft.

About a year or so ago, I made a change and now rotate between three upper pillows: the firmer Horsehair Pillow (gets firmer when compressed, but returns back after compression), a fairly stuffed wool pillow, and an overstuffed (I had to add some fill over how it was originally filled) CozyPure Baa-Noodle Pillow. They all work well depending on how I’m feeling that night. However, they work best when paired with the Tempur-Pedic Cloud Pillow as the base. If I switch the base pillow to my king-sized wool pillow, the overstuffed wool pillow doesn’t work well as the upper pillow.

Recently, I had a fitting at @EuropeanSleep Works and tried the Oxygen Pillow. I had previously tried solid latex pillows with no success. Despite being firm and heavy, both Talalay and Dunlop latex pillows were too bouncy for me and didn’t provide the stability I need while sleeping. I felt like I was bouncing all over the place.

The Oxygen Pillow is designed and structured differently from other latex pillows, and I highly recommend reaching out to ESW for more details. I’ve paired it with a half-king Oxygen Wedge Topper, which eliminated the need for a two-pillow setup. The wedge is around 4" high, and combined with the firmest Oxygen Pillow (which I believe is a Firm 4), this setup has been perfect for me from Day 1, with no adjustment period needed. I’ve even been able to sleep with just the Oxygen Pillow, without the wedge, and it still works great as a single pillow.

One important note is the way you position your pillow. It may sound obvious, but ensuring your pillow is snugly tucked under your neck and pressed close to your shoulders is crucial. Some people just lay their head on the pillow, leaving a 3–4" gap between the lower edge of the pillow and their shoulders. This can cause the neck and back muscles to compensate, leading to poor alignment and discomfort.

For side sleeping versus back sleeping, it’s important to adjust and position the Oxygen Pillow differently (which they will instruct you on), so make sure you’re aware of how to adjust it for your specific sleep style.

Without seeing a picture of your sleeping position on your mattress, particularly side sleeping, it’s difficult to fully understand what might be going on. If you can provide more information on how you’re positioned, it could help in making better recommendations. The TempFLow Elite Conforma is an excellent mattress, but how you sleep in or on it, can help resolve what pillow or pillow combination, may work best. There will likely be more than one pillow combination that will work, but lets just start with finding one!

All the best,

Maverick

[AJH]

Deltaxdog, to add to Maverick’s perspective: it took me a while to realize that there was no manufacturer out there who could build a pillow that suited me. I grew up with a loose-foam (shredded) pillow, that I could shape and fit to my own neck/head/face comfort. I am similarly sized as you, and need the firm mattress for sleep. But everything I could find about pillows and how they were measured for quality or construction had nothing to do with sleep, it only had to do with manufacturing. A “fer instance:” many sellers claimed that a good pillow will bounce back to its shape after being folded and released. But what’s that got to do with providing good sleep?

For my money, a good pillow will retain the shape I punch, fold, spindle, and form it into, and won’t fight me the rest of the night trying to get back to the shape the manufacturer built it for. When I went back to my childhood pillow style of a loose foam filling, that ceased to be an issue for me.

I concur with Maverick that “you need a structured pillow that will support your neck and head…[and] maintain the right loft to ensure alignment.” But my experience says to get something that you can shape, not that the manufacturers have already shaped for you.

Purple makes a good foam pillow, but the model I got was not shredded / loose foam. Finally I got 2 Molblly pillows, which were overstuffed for my need for “shapeability,” or nightly personalization. But buying another zippered pillow case allowed me to take 1/3 of the stuffing out of each, and now I have 3 perfect pillows available. Products like Molblly also have supplemental stuffing kits available to add to or replace foam that wears out over time.

Good luck.

[DELTAXDOG]

Appreciate the well thought out reply! I’ll look into the Molblly pillows.

[Nosferatu]

Most of my pillows have material that can be shaped to my desire. It works well because I don’t move much most nights. When I do move more than a smidgen, the pillow ends up all wrong. Some of these pillows are easy & quick to fix, but you need to be at least semi-awake to adjust it. Just something to keep in mind.

I don’t hear a lot about layered pillows, like the pancake pillow. These might be good for figuring out what height you need. If I pulled mine out of the closet, I’d probably roll up a layer near my neck for support. You can DIY something, but keep in mind that many materials crush a lot. I have a feather pillow 10" deep but when I put my head on it, it crushes so much there’s 10" of feather pillow in my face. With an adustable pillow–the kind you can completely shape–you don’t need to worry about it.

I also notice that I need to adjust the pillow if I change my sleep position, which I do all the time. Moving my hips or curling my knees is enough. The hips and pelvis are linked and attached to the spine, and the neck is part of the spine, so it makes sense to me anyway. It means you want one of these that’s easy to adjust if you don’t stay in the same position all night. Some of the most comfortable materials are harder to adjust, so you want to find the compromise that fits you best.