my husband is heavy set (I’ll guess 250+) at 6’2" (size XL, 48" chest, 42" waist)
i’m average size 8-10 (140ish, 5’8")
he is starting to get some arthritis in the neck, and i have lower back/hip pain (and some neck/shoulder thanks to being on the computer so much)
he is a side / back sleeper who snores
i’m a side, back, stomach, move around all night sleeper
what is the best mattress for both of us?
the one we have now (with a topper) is so-so
Hi laqu,
Unfortunately there are too many variables in each person’s body type, sleeping style, individual preferences, physiology, and sensitivities to use a formula to know which mattress is best for you.
There is some generic information and guidelines in the putting the layers together and in the sleeping style, preferences, and statistics sections of the site as well as in the tips and tricks page here but these are just general guidelines that can provide some insights and help you understand some of the concepts behind mattress design and layering and are not really suitable to use as a specific suggestion for any particular person.
Post #2 here would also be worth reading because it will help you “define” your best mattress what is most important to you.
Post #1 here includes all the basic information, steps, and guidelines that can help or “arm” you with the information you need to make the best possible choice.
Phoenix
i guess the part i’m confused with is that we have polar oposite sleeping patterns, he is on his side no movement… me all over the place … he’s heavy i’m average… and that correlates to different ‘beds’ firmness…
so i guess the question is… who do i ‘cater’ to his weight or mine,
his side or my stomach/back/side/and over again style…
i feel like he ‘kills’ mattresses and when he does move it wakes me up (as does a fly in the neighbors house = me not a good sleeper)
Hi laqu,
There are several ways that can accommodate the different needs and preferences of two people on a mattress and there is more about this in the first part of post #2 here.
this is also where your own personal testing on different types of materials and designs as well as more detailed conversations with knowledgeable retailers and manufacturers can be very helpful because they have the knowledge and experience to help their customers deal with these types of issues that they work with every day.
In general the most effective approach is to use a combination of your own personal testing on different types of mattresses and materials so you have a good idea of which materials and mattress styles you prefer and which best meet your criteria and personal value equation along with the guidance of the “experts” that already know what you would otherwise need to learn about the “how” and the “theory” that makes your criteria possible.
In other words … you don’t need to become an “expert” … you only need to know what you need and prefer and then find the experts that make it possible 
Phoenix