I’m so glad I found this forum. I’m been through a hellish set of circumstances trying to get the right bed, and banging my head on the wall the whole time. Unfortunately, things have not worked out well (5 beds later).
Background
This saga all started when my girlfriend and I figured it would be a good idea to replace our old Sealy pillowtop firm innerspring mattress from 2004. It had served us well - I loved the bed, and slept great on it for a long time. I’m mainly a back sleeper that prefers a relatively firm bed, but I do turn to my sides now and then (not for long). I loved my old bed because it had a the perfect set of a small cushion layer (which was not very thick) and the strong support of the interconnected coils underneath. We figured it would be a good idea to replace the bed given that it had been 10 years, but that turned out to be a bad idea.
I’m 30 years old, 5’11", 150 lbs. My girlfriend is 5’6" and 125 lbs. We are both back and side combination sleepers (her more than me) and we seem to prefer firmer mattresses - although my girlfriend is very flexible and has been able to sleep on most if not all of the beds I’ve had problems with.
Bed 1
We decided to get on a Groupon deal for a Simmons Beautyrest Classic plush bed, not realizing it was going to be way too soft for us. We got it in mid December, and it was OK for awhile. Both of us got to sleep, but we soon were experiencing back pain. We realized the bed was way to soft, and we needed something more supportive.
Bed 2
We went to a local discount store that sold floor model mattresses from Macy’s and other stores, for very very cheap. We got an old Sterns and Foster bed which appeared to be circa 2005, super firm, for a cheap price. Once we got it home, we realized we had totally overcorrected. This Sterns and Foster was hard as a rock. Literally felt harder than sleeping on the floor. Also, there were some sleep depressions already being the floor model, which made the mattress uneven. We quickly realized it had to go back.
Bed 3
Thinking that we should try to go to the chain stores to get something reputable, we decided to go to Macy’s. We ended up picking out a firm pillowtop (http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/beautyrest-classic-mattress-sets-park-hall-firm-pillowtop?ID=657486), thinking that it would be as good as the one we used to have in the Sealy. After we received the mattresses, we slept pretty well for the first day or two. Then I started experiencing pain in my right shoulder - it was very strange. I asked around and did some research, and realized that this model of pillowtop had a huge ton of memory foam in it - which was probably causing me to sink in very deeply into the mattress and cause my shoulders to be contorted inward, and causing my muscles to spasm. Also, I sleep very hot, and this bed was making me really hot at night, sweating a great deal. From this experience, I realized I like the feeling of sleeping “on” the bed instead of “in” the bed, because I do move around a great deal at night and do not want to have the feeling of being sunken in. Needless to say, at this point I was thinking what we could possibly do to get this right.
Bed 4
Realizing that I could not live with perpetual shoulder pain every night, I arranged a return of the Macy’s bed (with a restocking fee) and figured I would go to the big box retailer (Sleep Train) and get a bed, with a comfort guarantee. Ended up paying almost $2k for a Beautyrest Black Abriana extra firm (http://www.themattressexpert.com/Simmons-Beautyrest-Black-Abriana-Extra-Firm/) thinking that I would shell out good money for something that is firm and would work for me. Again, I think I may have slightly overcompensated in getting a firm bed having realized that memory foam was bad for my general sleep feeling. This bed was probably the best out of the bunch of beds, although it was still really firm. It felt way firmer than the bed in the showroom when it arrived. Almost too firm. It did solve most of my shoulder issues, although finding the right pillow was the hard part as I was getting some neck pain. I had a thought of perhaps getting a latex topper for the bed, given that it was extra firm, and adding a little bit of comfort (but not a lot) would help.
Instead, I decided to do another dumb thing and swap out the bed for more cushioned version of the Beautyrest Black series - Beautyrest Black Ansleigh Plush Firm (http://www.themattressexpert.com/Simmons-Beautyrest-Black-Ansleigh-Plush-Firm/) thinking that this bed would probably be the best balance of cushioning and firmness. Pete from the mattress blog online seemed to highly recommend the bed, and I figured it would be a good compromise. Plus, we were going to get a much cheaper price from a competitor than Sleep Train’s almost $2k price for the Abriana.
Bed 5
After getting the Ansleigh Plush Firm and sleeping on it for several nights, I quickly came to realize it was too soft for me (crap!). My lower back was not supported enough. Also, it has some weird peaks and valleys (not sure if the mattress is just bad or the box spring) which is causing me to slide toward the center of the bed, and causing me some shoulder problems again. The mattress seems very uneven - very soft in the middle part of the bed, but harder on the sides and top and bottom, causing me to feel like my whole midsection and shoulders are sinking in, while my legs and head still stay up. This is a horrible feeling to have, and I feel like I made another mistake bouncing from bed to bed.
What Now?
Needless to say, I am tired, beaten down, and just throughly frustrated by this whole experience. It is even more depressing that my original bed which served us so well was in perfect functioning order, but we just thought that we should replace the bed given that it was getting close to 10 years, and that we should replace it with something nicer. Not getting a good night’s sleep for 2 months so far has worn me down considerably, both mentally and physically (especially for someone like me who is used to getting 8 hours a night).
What should I do now? I have to wait 30 days to return my last bed purchase (Ansleigh Plush Firm). I’m thinking I need to sleep on the futon for now until I figure out what to do. I need the guidance of people like Phoenix and others on this forum:
(1) Should I switch back to the Beautyrest Black Abriana Extra Firm and add a latex topper? I feel like the extra firm was close to what I wanted in terms of the feel, but was just a bit too firm for my tastes. I can do an exchange for my current bed, but that would be it - no more exchanges or refunds after that.
(2) Realizing I don’t like to “sink” into a bed, and instead be on “top” of the bed, should I look at old interconnected coil mattresses designs? I feel like having slept on those for so long and being used to the way they feel, this might be a possible solution?
(3) Maybe I should get a latex mattress? I have not tried any Latex mattresses, so I have no idea how they feel, but my chiro has said he uses one, although he didn’t push it on me.
(4) I’m in the SF Bay Area and saw the list of stores that Phoenix recommended. I’m planning to stop by Nest Bedding and perhaps European Sleep Works and get an idea of what works. Also, I found a store near my workpace that seems reputable - Urban Sleep Store. Does anyone have any experience with them?
Please help! I’m desperate for advice and do not want to make the same mistake again in buying a bed!!! Thank you!