The hubs and I have been on a trek to find the comfiest bed setup for the past couple years, and the last step is dialing in the topper/heat situation, which I’m hoping for some help from this lovely community!
After some trial and error, laying on lots of beds in store and ordering 3 different beds (2 high-end hybrids, 1 all foam), we landed on a Sleep Science iFlip Napa from Costco, in a split king with the adjustable base (which is a TREAT).
We’re both side sleepers primarily, me 5’9" 130lbs and him 6’1" 160lbs. We did one of those pressure point tests in our local store where you lay on a special bed in different positions and it maps your “hot” areas and tells you your required firmness score. Mine was as far to the soft side as you could go, and his was just one level above me. Which really mirrors our real life preferences. I have a more pronounced waist to hip ratio and his shoulders are broader but hypermobile.
I should add that I have a neuroimmune disease that causes fevers and significant systemic pain including surface nerve and deeper joint, etc pain. So when it comes to a bed setup, my husband (lovingly) calls me Princess and the Chia Seed, lol. I truly wish it wasn’t the case, but we are doing the best we can given the circumstances.
The Sleep Science felt better than the ones we’d tried before, but I did need to add a layer of extra super gentle softness to cradle my nerves. The most comfortable setup I’ve gotten so far is with the softer side of the mattress up, and a 2" Serene foam topper inside the mattress cover (it zips off). I’ve tried many toppers of various types and densities of foams and the Serene was the best texture. I first tried it on top of the mattress cover, but I felt the firmness of the cover below it, and the 2" felt too soft for my low back over time. But when it is stacked directly on top of the soft memory foam layer of the mattress inside the cover, I didn’t experience the slight bottoming out, and the cover holding everything together squished the Serene down a tad so I didn’t sink too much. I should say, the bottoming out was not as bad as soft memory foam, but we’re dealing with some HIGHLY sensitive nerves here. Dense memory foam was very painful on my nerves.
BTW I also have a soft roll of foam & blanket under the waist section of the mattress to make the bed gently rise up to fill my waist gap to help support my low back.
The issue has just been the heat. I am fine a lot of the time, but when my core heats up esp from the fevers, the bed radiates it back like crazy. My whole body does not feel hot, just the core. In fact due to the fever, I can feel chills if I remove too many of the covers - my system does not “equalize” well. I sleep on a light organic cotton jersey fitted sheet which creates less surface tension (& nerve pain) than rigid sheets. I would love a sheet even stretchier but hard to find that (outside of synthetic materials which I do not like). On top of me is either the same jersey or a bamboo sheet, plus Buffy eucalyptus-filled comforter in an organic cotton sateen duvet. It is very temperature-regulating.
I read numerous comments on here about wool toppers helping temp regulation and moisture. I finally got one on Etsy - from a Latvian company LiveWool - merino wool 3cm 750gsm on poly knit backing. Could not find one with stretch non-synthetic backing other than Holy Lamb which was $600 for a twin xl. Unfortunately, the wool topper did not help the heat. It also added additional surface tension even though its backing had give. I tried taking the Serene out of the mattress cover and laid it on top of the bed, with the wool over it, which helped regain some softness but still no help with heat. Then AI said, it’ll help to put it under the Serene! Nope.
I read that there is not enough airflow so it cannot help with heat. It said “try latex”. Well, I have not had good luck with latex but I have only tried Dunlop and it had far too much pushback. My husband has the 1.4" convoluted soft Dunlop topper from Turmerry, which I tried - facing it up and facing it down. Big ol NOPE. Too firm in addition to the pushback. I read, Try ultra soft talaylay! But I could not find one that is soft enough to be similar to the texture of Serene from a company that offers free or inexpensive returns. Plus, I read that some people do not find it cooler than Serene. I would gladly try it, but cannot risk the $$ if no returns.
So this is where I am turning to this community and its experts!
How do I reduce the heat reflection while cradling my sensitive body in soft marshmallow-like cushion, suspended not sinking and not being pushed back. If a 2" ultra soft talaylay is not the answer, what about 1" soft talaylay with 1" Serene over that? Would that make a significant enough difference to consider? Or something else? And can I still make use of this beautiful wool?
Thank you so, so, so much for any help!!!
