I need some help making a decision on a new bed. I’ve done a bunch of research and narrowed it down to a latex/foam bed. The Leesa bed sounds very good and everyone likes it but the firmness is scaring me off. With fibromyalgia and a side sleeper to boot I can’t risk a bed being too firm because the pressure points will make me miserable. Then I started thinking of Brooklyn Bedding and going for the soft choice but then I worry will it be too soft where I and my husband end up with lower back pain. All the reviews I’ve seen for Brooklyn Bedding have been on their medium choice bed. Has anyone here bought the soft Brooklyn Bed?
The bed we have now has a thick memory foam euro top with inner spring below and I ended up buying a 3 inch thick memory foam topper because the mattress was too firm and my arm was going dead. So as you can see I do need a soft top.
I tried the Tempurpedic Cloud Supreme in the store and it seems like it is soft enough but there is no way I can afford the $3k+ price tag.
Any ideas which way I should go?
Hi sweetredhead,
I’m assuming that you’ve read the mattress shopping tutorial but two of the most important links in the tutorial that I would especially make sure you read are post #2 here which has more about the different ways to choose a suitable mattress (either locally or online) that is the best “match” for you in terms of “comfort” and PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and Personal preferences) that can help you assess and minimize the risks of making a choice that doesn’t turn out as well as you hoped for and post #13 here which has more about the most important parts of the “value” of a mattress purchase which can help you make more meaningful quality/value comparisons between mattresses in terms of suitability (how well you will sleep), durability (how long you will sleep well), and the overall value of a mattress compared to your other finalists (based on all the parts of your personal value equation that are most important to you).
While posture and alignment is the most important part of PPP for most people … with fibromyalgia the comfort and pressure relief of a mattress is usually a more important priority and most people with fibromyalgia tend to choose softer comfort layers because of their sensitivity to pressure on their joints and skin so a mattress that would fit the “averages” of most people could still be firmer than you need or prefer.
Having said that … I would always keep in mind that the first “rule” of mattress shopping is to always remember that you are the only one that can feel what you feel on a mattress and there are too many unknowns, variables, and personal preferences involved that are unique to each person to use a formula or for anyone to be able to predict or make a specific suggestion or recommendation about which mattress or combination of materials and components or which type of mattress would be the best “match” for you in terms of “comfort” or PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and Personal preferences) or how a mattress will “feel” to you or compare to another mattress based on specs (either yours or a mattress) or “theory at a distance” that can possibly be more accurate than your own careful testing (hopefully using the testing guidelines in step 4 of the tutorial) or if you can’t test a mattress in person then your own personal sleeping experience (see mattress firmness/comfort levels in post #2 here). Not everyone with fibromyalgia will have the same needs or preferences in a mattress.
While other people’s comments about the knowledge and service of a particular business can certainly be helpful … I would be very cautious about about using other people’s experiences or reviews on a mattress (either positive or negative) as a reliable source of information or guidance about how you will feel on the same mattress or how suitable or how durable a mattress may be for you and in many if not most cases they can be more misleading than helpful because a mattress that would be a perfect choice for one person or even a larger group of people may be completely unsuitable for someone else to sleep on (see post #13 here).
There are also no “standard” definitions or consensus of opinions for firmness ratings and different manufacturers can rate their mattresses very differently than others so a mattress that one manufacturer rates as being a specific firmness could be rated very differently by another manufacturer. Different people can also have very different perceptions of firmness and softness compared to others as well and a mattress that feels firm for one person can feel like “medium” for someone else or even “soft” for someone else (or vice versa) depending on their body type, sleeping style, physiology, their frame of reference based on what they are used to, and their individual sensitivity and perceptions. There are also different types of firmness and softness that different people may be sensitive to that can affect how they “rate” a mattress as well (see post #15 here) so different people can also have very different opinions on how two mattresses compare in terms of firmness as well and some people may rate one mattress as being firmer than another and someone else may rate them the other way around. This is all relative and very subjective and is as much an art as a science.
While I can’t speak to how any mattress will “feel” for someone else … the BestMattressEver certainly uses high quality materials that would make a very durable choice for any weight range.
When you can’t test a mattress in person then the most reliable source of guidance is always a more detailed phone conversation with a knowledgeable and experienced retailer or manufacturer that has your best interests at heart (which would certainly include Brooklyn Bedding) and who can help “talk you through” the specifics of their mattresses and the properties and “feel” of the materials they are using (fast or slow response, resilience, firmness etc) and the options they have available that may be the best “match” for you based on the information you provide them, any local testing you have done or mattresses you have slept on and liked or other mattresses you are considering that they are familiar with, and the “averages” of other customers that are similar to you. They will know more about “matching” their specific mattress designs to different body types, sleeping positions, and preferences (or to other mattresses that they are familiar with) than anyone else.
Since the only way to know for certain how any mattress will feel and perform for you will be based on your own personal experience … once you are reasonably confident that a mattress would be “in the range” that would very likely be a suitable choice for you then beyond that one of the significant advantages of a mattress that has a great trial period and return policy is that you can test the mattress in your bedroom instead of a showroom with little risk outside of the time you spend sleeping on it or in the “worst case” returning it should that become necessary.
Phoenix
Hi sweetredhead,
I thought I’d reply since I just purchased a Brooklyn Bedding mattress in soft. Not sure how helpful my experience will be…
I have been so frustrated by mattress buying that I have actually been sleeping on an air mattress since April. Prior to that I had a Casper, but thought it was SO hard that I returned it. Clearly, it really is impossible to come to a consensus about mattress firmness since I have heard many people say Caspers are too soft. Which is hard for me to wrap my head around.
At any rate, last week I got so frustrated by my air mattress situation that I ordered the Brooklyn Bedding mattress. I chatted with the sales person online and he suggested that I get the soft version, since I am pretty light (5’8" 130lbs). In addition, I have very bad chronic pain in my lower back and neck. I like the feel of a softer mattress, but I have absolutely no idea what type of mattress makes me back feel better/worse or if it affects it at all.
At any rate, I can tell you that the mattress is SOFT. Really soft. I was quite surprised. Again, this is very subjective, but I can tell you that if you push your hand into the mattress it sinks in a long way, very easily. In addition, I would point out that compared to the Casper, this mattress has more of a “pillow top”. That is, the surface is soft and quilted and sort of puffy. So you have both a soft mattress with a lot of padding on top, and a sort of soft fluffy surface.
I was sort of upset when I first unpacked it and realized how soft it was. That being said, I’ve had it several days now and have been sleeping fine. I really wish I could try the medium firmness one to compare. If I were you, if you are similar in size to me and/or want a REALLY soft mattress, I’d get the soft. If you are heavier than me, and don’t want the MOST soft option, perhaps try the medium.
Anyhow…as I said, not sure how helpful this is, All I can tell you is that it’s very soft.
One thing you might try doing is going to a regular mattress store that sells traditional mattresses - not to buy one, but to try them out for a frame of reference. Most mattresses at stores like that come in at least 3 levels of firmness. The labels vary from brand to brand, but basically you are going to see a firm version, a plush or medium version, and an ultra plush or super pillow top version. I can tell you that this mattress feels like the the softest version of each mattress that I tried at the big name mattress store - i.e. it feels like the ultra plush or pillow top. If it helps, I specifically tried out the Simmons World Class Beautyrest line, and this mattress feels like the MOST plush version of that mattress.
Again, not suggesting anyone should buy that mattress, just pointing out that it is probably easy to try out locally, and it would give you an idea of how soft the Brooklyn Bedding mattress is, in my opinion at least.
After much research I went with a Love Bed by Nest. I liked that I was able to choose my level of firmness, I went with soft, and that the off gassing was minimal. The 100 day money back guarantee and 365 days to change firmness was a big selling point. I figure I might as well start somewhere and try something since our current bed, Corsicana Medici, is in such bad shape (only 2 years old) and I can’t stand the thought of another week sleeping in it and waking to back pain. Latex will be a new thing for us but after trying a few beds in the stores I think it is a winner.
Hi sweetredhead,
Congratulations on your new mattress :).
You certainly made a good quality/value choice and I’m looking forward to your comments and feedback about how you like it once you’ve received it and have had the chance to sleep on it for a bit.
Phoenix
Well it has been a week on the Love bed and the jury is still out on it. The first couple of nights I have slept like a rock. My husband and I both noticed some next day soreness but I know that it to be expected with a new mattress. The problem is I have developed a pinched nerve in my neck haven’t done anything different other than the new mattress. Right now I am in major pain and my thumb has gone completely numb along with the shooting arm pain. All of this just happened when I woke up 2 days ago and every day hasn’t shown any improvements. With some research I found that many places mention that it must be the pillow but my pillow is the tempurpedic cervical neck pillow and it is less than a year old. I’m theorizing that the mattress is firmer or more supportive than I have been used to and my body can’t take coming into alignment. I know my lower back pain as improved a great deal but I don’t know if I can live with the neck pain. I may try adding back our memory form topper. I’m not sure what to do at this point.
Hi sweetredhead,
As you probably know it can take some time for a new mattress to break in and for your body to adjust to adjust to a new sleeping surface that is different from what it’s used to (see post #3 here)
While there are many reasons that can cause a pinched nerve that may not be related to your mattress … it’s also not uncommon at all that you may need a different pillow when you buy a new mattress because you may be sinking into the mattress more or less than your old one so the gap between your head and the mattress surface may be different now than it was before so even if your pillow was brand new it’s very possible that you may need a different pillow to keep your head and neck in neutral alignment.
There is more information about the most common symptoms that people may experience on a mattress and some of the most likely (although not the only) reasons for them in post #2 here that may also be helpful.
Phoenix