Finding the right mattress for a couple?

Hello! My partner and I are struggling to find a new mattress that we both like and would really appreciate this forum’s assistance!

About us:
*Both side sleepers (although I tend to sometimes try my back)
*I am 5’6, 135 pounds
*He is 6’2, 280 pounds and tends to sleep hot and likes edge support
*Both working to lose some weight (me to around 128 to 135, he down to at least 230 or more)
*Both don’t generally like the feel of memory foam

We have tried two Wink Beds, first the plus firm thinking it would help him, but realized way too firm for me and cause hip pain. Now trying the Luxury firm and while not as bad as their firmest model, still too firm. My partner previously had a memory foam mattress. When he was lighter and it was on a box spring, he didn’t have any problems. We moved and got rid of the box spring with a foundation with slats, and he began to have lots of hip pain at night (it also timed when he had gained more weight, so not sure how to explain). Both scenarios were fine for me, but wasn’t in love with the mattress.

As of right now we have narrowed down our choices to the following:

  1. Helix Midnight Luxe (
  2. Urban Mattress Silver Lake or Highland (He prefers Silver Lake and I prefer the Highland. . while the Silver Lake has more foam, I don’t think I get the support from the coils as I’m lighter) (The Silver Lake - Urban Mattress Boulder or
  3. Nest Signature Sparrow where we can do an internal split in a CA King as either plush/medium, medium/firm, etc. (

We really like the idea of the Nest Sparrow for the split option, price point, exchange option, and lifetime warranty; however, closest place to try one is a 7 hour drive. (We live in Washington, DC area). We have family in that area but won’t be going until late September and we need to return our current mattress by mid-August. A little worried that the medium ranks a 5.5 and the firm an 8.5 and that my partner prefers something in between like a 6.5. I’m have read that light-weight slide sleepers might prefer the plush (2.5) but hard to tell in my case.

  1. Would you suggest we wait to try the Nest? If we don’t, I would hate to try with a somewhat uneducated guess and then use their exchange program too early if we did need to make an adjustment now and then if down the road years later wanted to use that option.
  2. How might we decide between the Urban Mattress Silver Lake or Highland? We both really like the feel of this type of mattress. I read the Nest feels slightly more like a memory foam than an innerspring. We considered if we could go with the Highland and get a topper for my partner.
  3. Might the Helix Midnight Luxe be a good compromise to try?
  4. Any other internal split options you might recommend?

I have attached a PDF of a spreadsheet I created to try to compare the details. Thank you SO SO much. Really appreciate your expert advice.

Besides getting one that offers the “internal split” option:

If you can plan things out to match the heights (including each side having different box springs if necessary) - then you could consider each getting a totally different twin XL bed, and then put them up next to each other. totally different manufacturer and style. That is what me and my wife did as we have totally different preferences and needs. She has a sleep number (which I hate). I have a DIY type thing with firm spring mattress and DIY toppers on top. They are the same height and then we put a king bedspread over, so the twin XLs together are like a king. There is a slight gap in between, so of course you have to live with that downside.

Hi Falls2sleep.

Welcome to our Mattress Forum. :slight_smile:

I am a big fan of Nest due to their great customer service, component transparency, and overall product quality. You can reach out to them directly to let them know what it is you’re needing/looking for (basically everything you shared here) and they’ll gladly help point you in the right direction in terms of the right fit. It sounds like a split configuration is going to be your best bet due to your differing needs.

Honestly, this would come down to testing and personal preferences. You could also do a side by side comparison of components for durability’s sake.

I can’t say for sure since I don’t know what either of you feel on a mattress. I can really only weigh in on durability and firmness if the specs of the mattress are handy.

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