Hello all you super lovely and helpful folks! This site is a wonderful resource and I’m really glad I’ve found it. I hope this isn’t too much trouble but I am at my wits’ end here with all this mattress stuff. I am the sole caretaker of my elderly parents and I’m not comfortable going out to try mattresses during the pandemic, but I need to figure something out within the next few months. I am 5’2" 200 lbs, 90% side sleeper/10% back, suffering from lower back and shoulder pain. I do very much realize my weight could be contributing a lot to my pain and all I can say is I’m trying my best to work on it.
I don’t really know what I like in a mattress because for most of my life, I never had one. Seriously. And this makes the shopping experience a huge struggle. I have read as much as I could on Mattress Underground so I feel like I understand how mattresses work in theory but not in practice. As a result I still feel kind of lost.
My parents have uh, weird beliefs about spinal health, so there is not a single mattress in this house. We sleep on plywood covered with a few old quilts. It’s like a Japanese-style futon except way worse because the quilts are so thin. There is zero give on these surfaces. My parents seem okay with this and for most of my life, so was I. I fall asleep on them quickly and stay asleep for a solid 8 hours. But a couple years ago I started waking up with pain and it has been getting worse and worse. I stacked some extra quilts and bought a 2" memory foam topper out of desperation, creating a sleeping surface that’s actually kind of plush, although it bottoms out quickly. The pain improved for a while but came back after several months. I have rotated the topper and that seems to help but I’m sure once that side wears down I’ll be back to square one.
Here are some observations that I hope will be helpful:
Hotel mattresses I’ve encountered tend to be springy yet firm. I get no sleep on these kinds of mattresses whatsoever no matter how tired I am. I think the springiness bothers me because I just never feel fully “settled” on that kind of surface.
When I moved out for my first job I bought an Ashley Chime mattress off of the previous tenant for the sake of convenience. It was SUPER firm memory foam that I barely sank into, which I liked at first because it was close to what I was used to, but soon I was waking up with aches and pains. I’ve slept two other other memory foam mattresses before, both in guest rooms for only a couple nights. They were less firm but I still didn’t feel myself sinking in a lot. Those give my shoulders pain but my lower back does better.
I have a warm core in general and I seem to sleep super hot on memory foam. The foam topper and the Chime mattress were both hell in that regard. When I sleep on the plywood and quilts they can get warm enough to bother me but it’s nowhere near as bad. For that reason, when I had the Chime mattress, I got rid of it after a few months in favor of setting up the plywood and quilts.
Another thing I kind of hate about memory foam, at least from what I’ve tried, is how my shoulders and hips sink in while my limbs float on top of the mattress. This happens on my back and my side. It’s a very weird and distracting sensation to have my arms elevated like this. My hunch is that I need something that pushes back against my shoulders and hips while still relieving pressure.
So as you can see I’ve never slept on anything I truly liked, which makes it more difficult to narrow down my options. Right now I’m kind of into the idea of a customized multi-layer latex mattress. I will hopefully sleep cooler on it than memory foam and all-latex should feel less springy than a hybrid, although I’m still concerned about the material having some bounce by nature of it being rubber. I’m planning to order latex samples to get a better idea of how it feels, but if I end up not liking it for some reason… I’m really not sure where to go from there since memory foam and springs have also been problematic for me. Maybe buckling column gel? I would really prefer not to, but if I must go to a mattress store and try some different materials in person, then I will make an appointment and show up in plastic wrap and three layers of surgical masks.
Thanks in advance for any and all advice you may have. I realize I may be a difficult customer.
Welcome to the Mattress Underground ! Apologies to you for the delayed response and thanks for your kind words on the site and for your question.
[quote]I am the sole caretaker of my elderly parents and I’m not comfortable going out to try mattresses during the pandemic, but I need to figure something out within the next few months. I am 5’2" 200 lbs, 90% side sleeper/10% back, suffering from lower back and shoulder pain. I do very much realize my weight could be contributing a lot to my pain and all I can say is I’m trying my best to work on it.
I don’t really know what I like in a mattress because for most of my life, I never had one. Seriously. And this makes the shopping experience a huge struggle. I have read as much as I could on Mattress Underground so I feel like I understand how mattresses work in theory but not in practice. As a result I still feel kind of lost.
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Congrats on your new mattress shopping journey, akratica ! You are not alone in your apprehension to make store visits during these COVID-19 times, especially when you are the sole caretaker of elderly parents. We will do what we can here to guide you through TMU’s research resources and help you with initial considerations.
Japanese style sleeping has gained more enthusiasts in the West over the years as consumers have found its combination of comfort and firmness in a minimal sleep space to be beneficial not only from a back pressure relieving standpoint but from a cost- savings standpoint as well. Sleeping on hard surfaces, whether its plywood covered in quilts or 2" of foam on a bed platform are both similar in feel as both are considered “unforgiving” surfaces with no transfer of motion felt.
The Ashley Chime mattress is a memory foam/ HD polyfoam mattress rated as a “firm” on their comfort scale, available in 10", 12" or 14". Memory foam has a combination of viscosity and elasticity which is why its often called “visco-elastic” and is so different from other materials. It is made in such a way that its ability to recover over time (a period usually measured in seconds) is strong enough (even though it is slower) to “refill” the air but it is not strong enough to be resilient, so it absorbs the energy of compression more than returns it with a “springy” feeling. It is less breathable and in the same way that it is more difficult to breathe in or out through a thick fabric, under compression the air both leaves and comes back against more resistance than most other foams. You can learn more about memory foams’ unique properties in Phoenix’s article, “Memory Foam: Pros and Cons”.
[quote]- I have a warm core in general and I seem to sleep super hot on memory foam. The foam topper and the Chime mattress were both hell in that regard. When I sleep on the plywood and quilts they can get warm enough to bother me but it’s nowhere near as bad. For that reason, when I had the Chime mattress, I got rid of it after a few months in favor of setting up the plywood and quilts.
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While memory foam has strengths in the area of pressure relief/ movement isolation, it also has some drawbacks from its different qualities and structure, including its tendency to sleep hot (for those who are sensitive to this) as memory foam is not as breathable or open celled as other types of foam. The deeper in a mattress someone sleeps, the more likely someone is to have issues with “sleeping hot”. This of course is a quality of all foams where you “sink in” to some degree but it is compounded by the makeup of memory foams in general which allow a greater degree of sinking in and are typically less breathable (allow for less evaporation) than other foams.
[quote]- Another thing I kind of hate about memory foam, at least from what I’ve tried, is how my shoulders and hips sink in while my limbs float on top of the mattress. This happens on my back and my side. It’s a very weird and distracting sensation to have my arms elevated like this. My hunch is that I need something that pushes back against my shoulders and hips while still relieving pressure.
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Memory foam also absorbs energy, has little resilience and is a poorly supportive material, relying on the layers underneath to provide support and spinal alignment. This may also mean that with thicker layers there is little support for the lumbar area which does not come in firm contact with the support layers and will not be held up well by a foam that “melts” under pressure. Finally it is difficult to control how far you sink into a memory foam layer as it may soften over the course of the night, with what started out as correct spinal alignment could become a “hammock” position and a backache by morning.
You may find that a customized all-latex mattress could be ideal in terms of both comfort and pressure point relieving support. Latex is an open-cell material with natural breathability/ cooling properties and is highly regarded for its “uplifting” feel, as well as its high durability. You can learn more about the properties of latex in Phoenix’s article,“Latex: Pros and Cons” as well its use as a mattress in “Different Types and Categories of Mattresses”. And yes; latex will have an amount of “bounce” with its rubber component. It would be beneficial for you to order latex samples as describing its unique “feel” is difficult to translate with no point of reference. It would also be helpful to better understand your description of “springiness” in the feel of hotel beds as latex’s more uplifting feel is more of an “sleeping on” a mattress rather than memory foam’s feel of “sinking into” a mattress. You may find a review of these TMU trusted members specializing in latex/ all latex mattresseshelpful for better understanding the available options, as well as review of Phoenix’s "Mattress Shopping Guidelines"for tips on finding the best quality/ value mattress. Phoenix’s “Finding a Great Mattress Outlet” article offers tips on conducting phone consultations with mattress manufacturers/ retailers in lieu of store visits.
Buckling column gel is made of either hexagonal or square “columns” which will support a certain amount of weight. When they reach their threshold they then “collapse” under pressure. Because of this ability to be both firm in certain areas (to the degree of their threshold) and soft in certain areas (when they buckle), they have a good ability to form a cradle and offer a very good combination of pressure relief and lumbar support. One of these is that they come with different “collapse” thresholds and the firmer ones (usually the hexagonal shaped versions) may be too firm for some people. They also have a somewhat different “crackling” feel to them which some people find is a little difficult to get used to and some have described as a “bubble foam” type of feeling. Buckling column gel as a comfort layer has some interesting qualities and you can learn more about this construction in Phoenix’s article, “Mattress Comfort Layers: Buckling Column Gel”.
While it isn’t ideal in your situation akratica, making store visits is the one sure way to understand your individual “feel” of the mattresses and gather comparison notes on your findings to pair with your research. You may also consider asking questions of the above TMU trusted members who specialize in latex/ all latex mattresses as they have the knowledge and expertise to help guide you in your decision making process. Looking forward to hearing more about next steps as you research further and good luck .
! Apologies to you for the delayed response and thanks for your kind words on the site and for your question.
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