HELP! I can't find a good mattress. Every night is a nightmare.

Hello I am new to this site. I have been reading all day various topics and I finally decided to expose my own dilemma here.

I am 5.10 and 150 pds broad shoulders and lean. My wife is 5.4 and 130 pds. We are both side and back sleepers. Although I used to love to sleep on my belly until my chiropractor advised against it. We both work out regularly, and I play soccer since the day I started walking.

We have swapped three mattresses in 2 years and I don’t remember the last night I had a good night sleep. Every morning I wake up with lower back pains, and a stiff neck which takes a good half hour to alleviate with stretching exercises.

The last mattress we got two months ago is the Aireloom Hotel Gel firm, and I believe I only slept decently the first night we got it, then it went down hill with the same issues which worsen every day. I am doing something wrong in choosing my mattresses and I need to get educated to make the best informed decision I can and finally stop the insanity.

I wake up 3-4 times at night from pains in my neck and lower back, only to finally put an end to the nightmare every early morning.
I will ship the Aireloom back to macy’s if I have to, and I don’t care for the ridiculous 15% restocking fee they have.

Hi Antonio1,

The first place I would start and perhaps the most important post in the forum is post #1 here and the information it links to. Scanning (not studying) this will give you the basic information you need to go in better directions and make good choices and it will also help you eliminate most of the worst choices you will be exposed to.

The goal is to use this information as a reference point and to help you identify the people who have the knowledge and experience you are looking for that can provide you with the help and guidance you need locally. Finding the “experts” is much more effective than trying to become one :slight_smile:

I doubt there is much at Macy’s that is particularly good quality/value and they certainly are not “mattress people” and they also won’t know or disclose the quality of the layers in the mattress they sell which is one of the most reliable indicators of the better retailers and manufacturers.

Once you have read the basic information … then if you let me know the city or zip you live in I’d be happy to let you know of any better options or possibilities I’m aware of in your area.


Great info the Phoenix. My zip is 08831 in NJ. I should have known not to buy from them when I had to wait 45 mins for a copy of the mattress specs.

Thank you. Much appreciated

Hi Antonio1,

The better options and possibilities I’m aware of in your area are in post #7 here.


Thank you Phoenix. I was wondering what kind of mattress a person with such knowledge of mattresses such as you has. You don’t have to answer if you feel my question is too personal.
By the way I ordered an inspection to deem whether my mattress is defective, but Macy’s was giving me a hard time because they can’t believe the mattress could sink 1.5 inches in 1 month. This is because I ordered an inspection for a stain spec my wife noticed when it got delivered and we wanted to make sure it would not invalidate the warranty. They say that they took measurements of the mattress and took pictures of that but I was with the technician when he came and he did not take any measurements.
They are saying that if the pics show they did take measurements they won’t allow another inspection and I will be forced to pay a 15 % restocking + $75 deliver back fee ($400 total). I am waiting for them to tell me they won’t allow an inspection to unleash hell! These people are rediculous!

People stay away from Macy’s when it comes to buy mattresses.

Hi Antonio1,

No problem … It’s been asked a few times :).

The details about my mattress are in post #4 here.

This is fairly typical unfortunately. In the case of the major manufacturers … mattress warranties and their conditions are more to protect the manufacturers against claims than they are meant to protect consumers. Stick to your guns! In most cases they will “allow” a second inspection (with the fee of course) after 90 days.

In many cases the lower cost, better quality, and better value of other mattresses made by smaller independent manufacturers can more than make up for a restocking fee … not to mention the better quality of sleep that can come from a mattress that matches your needs and preferences and will stay closer to its original specs for much longer.

Some of TD-Max’s posts in various threads (I deleted his main thread in error when I was deleting some spam and still need to restore it) and Hobotrader’s posts may be worth reading as well (you can just click the links) as they have recently been posting about similar warranty issues.

It’s not just Macy’s


It looks very even and certainly not like mine (with hills and valleys). This is my dilemma I really lost track of what fits or feels good to my body. It has been so long that I can’t remember the specs of the last good mattress I had. That said I guess I would benefit of posts of people like me that wake up with lower back discomfort and neck tightness and that have been able to find a good mattress to get an idea of where to start looking.

Hi Antonio1,

The post I linked in my first reply will give you information about how to test mattresses in the store so you can test them more objectively. This will greatly improve the odds of making a good choice in terms of how suitable a mattress is for your needs and preferences.

You may not have been able to find out the specs anyway if it was a major manufacturer or a manufacturer that doesn’t disclose them. Even if you did … things can change a lot over the years both in terms of your own needs and preferences and in terms of mattresses that are available to you so knowing what to look for and how to test mattresses can bypass trying to “duplicate” another mattress that may not be your best choice any more anyway.

It is very risky to go by what works for other people because each of us is unique. What works very well for one person may be completely unsuitable for another … even if they have a similar body type and sleeping style. There are too many variables and differences between people to go by what works for someone else. What’s important is knowing what to exclude … some basic information that lets you know how to make meaningful comparisons and how to tell quality vs marketing stories … how to test mattresses so you can tell what is most suitable for you … and perhaps most importantly when you are starting out, how to find the “experts” so that you can benefit from their knowledge, experience, willingness to educate you about mattresses, and the quality and value of the mattresses they sell.

All of the above is in the post I linked and the information that it includes.

Hope this helps


Hi Phoenix,
I just wanted to thank you for all your help. I did get a latex mattress from Sleepez and it was a wonderful customer experience, Sean is really a great guy and very knowledgeable.
We went to visit a savvy rest retailer in Princeton NJ, to have an idea of how the mattress would feel. We know all so well that to really see if a mattress is good for you is to sleep on it a few nights so we were not basing our decision solely on that visit. The prices at Savvy Rest were outrageous so we diverted to Sleepez.
The Mattress is three layers Dunlop Firm, Dunlop Medium, Blended Talalay Soft. While the top layer is not split the layers under nit are. This is our third night sleeping on it and unfortunately my wife and I are still lamenting lower back issues, and especially me that I wake up in the middle of the night tossing and turning.
It could be that after sleeping all my life on springs my body needs time to adjust but I think I will give Sean a call today. It feels to me Iike my lumbar region does not get much support and in fact I have to get up from the bed to walk around 10 -15 mins and give my lower back a break. I am thinking to order a a Dunlop firm middle layer to replace the medium. Thoughts?
I will keep you posted!

Hi Antonio1,

Post #2 here along with post #6 here and post #45 here may give you some insights into fine tuning and re-arranging layers that may be helpful. the first step though is always to call the manufacturer (in this case Shawn) because their suggestions will have the most direct experience with their own mattresses behind them.

As you mentioned … your body will also take some time to adjust to any new sleeping surface and “unlearn” it’s old sleeping habits (see post #7 here) so it’s also important to make sure that you have spent “enough” time on the mattress before you begin making changes and to make sure that any changes are incremental and not too many in a short period of time so you can identify which changes are connected to which “effect” and your body has time to “catch up” to each change.

I would also do some “re-arranging” before exchanging layers such as switching the firm and medium layers so the firm is in the middle as a first incremental step to test the effect of improving deep support first … but only after you have given things “enough time” with your initial configuration (I would suggest a minimum of 2 weeks if possible). This thread may also be helpful where one of the forum members has included pictures of their alignment and the effect of re-arranging layers.


Antonio1, Have you seen a physician or chiropractor to check if you have a physical problem, like undiagnosed arthritis that might be contributing to your night time pain? My sister in law was diagnosed with degenerative arthritis in her 20’s and it first presented as back pain. Just a thought. Good luck on resolving this.

Hi! I’d like to add to other comments that perhaps shifting your pillows around (or replacing them) and making sure that the stiff neck problem could be aggravated by the wrong angles- I have learned from this site how to better align my neck to the body - and that each mattress can cause a need to replace or adjust pillows. Also, some people find stiffness can set in because- they are NOT tossing and turning as much as they used to though it does not sound as if this is what is going on with you. just a thought;

I have problems with nerve endings and I have had rotator cuff surgery. I now use both a myPillow and a latex shredded pillow. The latex pillow is extra soothing when the neck and shoulders are firing up. New pillows have really made a difference for me and perhaps this could help you and your wife too
Good luck!

Thank you everyone.
Phoenix I will look at your links tomorrow a little better but your suggestion coincides exactly with the one Shawn provided: Wait a few more days see if the feel improves otherwise switch the firm layer on top of the medium layer. \Wow! impressive.

Lew, I do go to the chiropractor every week as I work on computers all day long. No arthritis so far that I know of, although it would not surprise me.

PrincessandthPea, I thought of the pillow too and I ordered two latex pillows with the mattress, which I love. However, they come too filled and they need to be adjusted as well.

Will keep you posted of my progress (or regress).

Thank you

5th night on the mattress and it was a great one like we did not have in months. I think it’s actually happening, we are getting used to the texture of latex. 6th night a little stiffness in the morning but slept good with no interruptions. We need to tweak the density of the pillows and I think we are gonna be all set. :woohoo:

Hi Antonio1,

That’s great news … and thanks for the update :slight_smile:


Thumbs up!