Hi ccg101,
I’m sorry to hear that the mattress you chose didn’t work out as well as you hoped for.
While it’s not possible to “diagnose” mattress comfort issues on a forum with any certainty because they can be very complex and there are too many unique unknowns, variables, and complexities involved that can affect how each person sleeps on a mattress in terms of “comfort”, firmness, and PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and your own Personal preferences) or any “symptoms” they experience … there is more about the most common symptoms that people may experience when they sleep on a mattress and the most likely (although not the only) reasons for them in post #2 here (at least to the degree that any symptoms are the result of a mattress and not the result of any pre existing issues or circumstances).
Having said that … based on your comments it sounds like your mattress is too soft for your own unique needs and preferences.
it’s also possible that your symptoms on the mattress could be the result of a pillow issue because one of the most common causes for neck and shoulder issues is the pillow you are using. A suitable pillow is an essential part of good alignment for the head and neck and upper body and can reduce some of the pressure on your shoulders because the gap between the head and the mattress and the curve of the cervical spine needs to be supported just like all other parts of the spine. Like mattresses … there are certain “needs” that depend on body type and sleeping positions but with pillows, personal preferences plays a more important role because the face is much more sensitive to textures, temperature, smells, and other more subjective “feel” based properties of a pillow. There is more about choosing pillows in the main pillow topic here.
Memory foam is also a slow response material which can be more motion restricting than other types of foam (such as polyfoam or latex) that are more resilient or “springy” and can make it easier to move or change positions when you are sleeping on the matttress so the feeling of being “stuck” in a mattress is more common with memory foam than with other types of foam materials and it’s also possible that you may prefer a mattress that has a more resilient sleeping surface.
It’s not really possible to quantify the sleeping temperature of a mattress for any particular person with any real accuracy because there are so many variables involved including the type of mattress protector and the sheets and bedding that you use (which in many cases can have just as significant an effect on sleeping temperature as the type of foam in a mattress) and on where you are in the “oven to iceberg” range and because there is no standardized testing for temperature regulation with different combinations of materials … there is more about the many variables that can affect the sleeping temperature of a mattress or sleeping system in post #2 here that can help you choose the types of materials and components that are most likely to keep you in a comfortable temperature range.
While many of the more modern memory foam or gel memory foam formulations will tend to be more breathable than older formulations of memory foam so most people don’t have temperature regulation issues on memory foam mattresses … in very general terms memory foam will tend to sleep warmer than other types of more breathable foam materials and components and for those that tend to sleep very hot it may be a good idea to consider other types of mattresses that don’t use thicker layers of memory foam in the top layers of the mattress.
While I can certainly help with “how” to choose … It’s not possible to make specific suggestions or recommendations for either a mattress, manufacturers/retailers, or combinations of materials or components because the first “rule” of mattress shopping is to always remember that you are the only one that can feel what you feel on a mattress and there are too many unknowns, variables, and personal preferences involved that are unique to each person to use a formula or for anyone to be able to predict or make a specific suggestion or recommendation about which mattress or combination of materials and components or which type of mattress would be the best “match” for you in terms of “comfort”, firmness, or PPP or how a mattress will “feel” to you or compare to another mattress based on specs (either yours or a mattress), sleeping positions, health conditions, or “theory at a distance” that can possibly be more reliable than your own careful testing (hopefully using the testing guidelines in step 4 of the tutorial) or your own personal sleeping experience (see mattress firmness/comfort levels in post #2 here).
I’m not sure what you’ve read since you found the site but just in case you haven’t read it yet … the first place to start your research is the mattress shopping tutorial here which includes all the basic information, steps, and guidelines that can help you make the best possible choice … and perhaps more importantly know how and why to avoid the worst ones.
Two of the most important links in the tutorial that I would especially make sure you’ve read are post #2 here which has more about the different ways to choose a suitable mattress (either locally or online) that is the best “match” for you in terms of “comfort” and PPP that can help you assess and minimize the risks of making a choice that doesn’t turn out as well as you hoped for and post #13 here which has more about the most important parts of the “value” of a mattress purchase which can help you make more meaningful quality/value comparisons between mattresses in terms of suitability (how well you will sleep), durability (how long you will sleep well), and the overall value of a mattress compared to your other finalists based on all the parts of your personal value equation that are most important to you.
If you are considering online options then the mattress shopping tutorial includes several links to lists of many of the better online options I’m aware of (in the optional online step) that include many different types and categories of mattresses that use different materials and components in a wide range of designs, budgets, firmness levels, and with different return/exchange policies that may be well worth considering as well.
If you are considering local options that you can test in person before a purchase then if you let me know your city or zip code I’d be happy to let you know about the better options or possibilities I’m aware of in your area.
Phoenix