HELP! Tired of spending thousands...

[phoenix]

Hi OUGrad05,

Welcome to the Mattress Forum! … and I’m glad you found us :).

The first place to start your research is the mattress shopping tutorial here which includes all the basic information, steps, and guidelines that can help you make the best possible choice … and perhaps more importantly know how and why to avoid the worst ones (including all the major brands such as Sealy, Simmons, and Serta … see the guidelines here).

Two of the most important links in the tutorial that I would especially make sure you’ve read are post #2 here which has more about the different ways to choose a suitable mattress (either locally or online) that is the best “match” for you in terms of “comfort” and PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and Personal preferences) that can help you assess and minimize the risks of making a choice that doesn’t turn out as well as you hoped for and post #13 here which has more about the most important parts of the “value” of a mattress purchase which can help you make more meaningful quality/value comparisons between mattresses in terms of suitability (how well you will sleep), durability (how long you will sleep well), and the overall value of a mattress compared to your other finalists (based on all the parts of your personal value equation that are most important to you).

My wife generally likes it ok but has recently started having back pain. I have struggled with the mattress since the beginning, sometimes getting good sleep other nights waking up numerous times with back, neck or shoulder pain.

It’s to the point now where a couple times a week I get up to walk around or stretch for a couple minutes in the middle of the night and then go back to bed. Last night I slept reasonably well, same for the night before, but I also spent 3 or 4 nights last week waking up with pain. I’m really getting tired of this.

The most common cause for lower back pain is a mattress that is too soft for your body type and sleeping style. Sometimes this can be because you chose a mattress that was too soft for you when it was new (or close to the edge of being too soft … see post #2 here) and other times it can be because you chose a mattress that uses lower quality materials that will soften or break down prematurely (particularly under the heavier areas of the body) which can result in the loss of the comfort and support that was the reason you purchased the mattress when it was new. Neck and shoulder pain can also be a pillow issue if your pillow doesn’t keep your head and neck in good alignment in all your sleeping positions.

Outside of PPP (which is all about how well you will sleep on a mattress) the most important part of the value of a mattress purchase is it’s durability and in terms of durability a mattress is only as good as its construction and the type, quality, and durability of the materials inside it (which is all about how long you will sleep well) regardless of the name of the manufacturer or the name of the mattress on the label. In other words I would always make sure that you are able to find out the information listed here so you can compare the materials and components in a mattress to the quality/durability guidelines here and confirm there are no lower quality materials or weak links in a mattress that would compromise the durability and useful life of a mattress before making any mattress purchase. I would also only deal with retailers or manufacturers that are both willing and able to provide you with all the information about the quality and durability of all the materials and components inside a mattress that you need to make an informed choice.

I’m 6ft 6 and my weight fluctuates between 180-200lbs generally speaking, though I’m typically in the 183-193 range. My wife is 5’4 and weighs about 115-120lbs. So there’s a bit of a difference in height and weight. I also have relatively broad shoulders despite being rather slim.

I’m tempted to just get a cheap mattress and try it, however, I’d really like to just find a mattress that I can sleep on and get a good nights rest. There’s now a “sleep spa” in our area, they supposedly take measurements and find the “right” mattress for your size, weight, etc.

The first “rule” of mattress shopping is to always remember that you are the only one that can feel what you feel on a mattress and there are too many unknowns, variables, and personal preferences involved that are unique to each person to use a formula or for anyone to be able to predict or make a specific suggestion or recommendation about which mattress or combination of materials and components or which type of mattress would be the best “match” for you in terms of “comfort” or PPP or how a mattress will “feel” to you or compare to another mattress based on specs (either yours or a mattress), sleeping positions, or “theory at a distance” that can possibly be more accurate than your own careful testing (hopefully using the testing guidelines in step 4 of the tutorial) or your own personal sleeping experience (see mattress firmness/comfort levels in post #2 here).

There is more about the bed match system in this topic and you can read a little more about pressure mapping systems in post #2 here and post #4 here. While they can be helpful … I would be cautious about overemphasizing their importance compared to what your body tells you and using the testing guidelines in the tutorial because they can help more for pressure testing than spinal alignment (pressure relief is not the same as spinal alignment and a mattress that does a great job relieving pressure is not necessarily the best choice in terms of alignment). They also won’t tell you anything about the quality and durability of the materials inside the mattress.

There is also more information in the first part of post #2 here about some of the different ways that can be used to accommodate a couple that have very different body types or sleeping styles or that for other reasons have different needs and preferences in a mattress.

Once you reach step 3 in the tutorial if you let me know your city or zip code I’d be happy to let you know about any of the better options or possibilities I’m aware of in your area.

In its simplest form … choosing the “best possible” mattress for any particular person really comes down to first finding a few knowledgeable and transparent retailers and/or manufacturers that sell the types of mattresses that you are most interested in (either locally or online) and that can provide you with all the information you need to know to make an informed choice and make meaningful comparisons between mattresses and then …

1. Careful testing (hopefully using the testing guidelines in the tutorial) to make sure that a mattress is a good match for you in terms of “comfort”, firmness, and PPP … and/or that you are comfortable with the options you have available to return, exchange, or “fine tune” the mattress and any costs involved if you can’t test a mattress in person or aren’t confident that your mattress is a suitable choice.

2. Checking to make sure that there are no lower quality materials or weak links in the mattress that could compromise the durability and useful life of the mattress.

3. Comparing your finalists for “value” based on #1 and #2 and all the other parts of your personal value equation that are most important to you.

Phoenix