Hi Thrasher,
Your wife is giving you good advice and for some people it certainly is a process. It may also be worth trying your mattress without the wool topper to see if this makes any difference. Some of the other suggestions in post #2 here may also be helpful.
Even if you end up needing to make a mattress exchange … spending as much time as possible (within reason) with the mattress you have will be helpful in helping you decide which mattress you exchange for is likely to work best for you.
Phoenix