Hi antics,
Hopefully you’ve had the chance to read the tutorial post here which has all the basic information, steps, and guidelines you will need to make the best possible choices … and know how to avoid the worst ones.
Since you won’t be able to test mattresses in person … you would be skipping step 4 (testing mattresses locally) and replacing it with the optional online step.
You are certainly correct about this and hotel mattresses are considerably more costly than the roughly equivalent consumer mattress made by the same manufacturer and are a common source of buyers remorse (see post #3 here).
While you won’t find any consensus about this and it really depends on each person’s personal “style” … there are probably more people who will tell you that more resilient and faster responding materials like innersprings, latex, and polyfoam will be more “sex friendly” than less resilient and slower responding materials like memory foam. There is more about this in post #2 here.
Unfortunately you are asking the impossible because there are just too many unknowns, variables, and personal preferences involved for anyone to recommend a specific mattress for someone else out of all the thousands that are available in the market. When you can’t test a mattress in person then the “experts” that you would need to talk with and that are in the best position to help you and suggest a specific mattress is always a knowledgeable and experienced online retailer or manufacturer who has your best interests at heart and who will know more than anyone else about which of their specific mattresses is the most likely to be the best choice for you based on a more detailed conversation on the phone (see mattress firmness/comfort levels in post #2 here). The more information you can provide them when you talk with them the more you will help them to help you make the best possible choice although if you aren’t clear about your preferences and haven’t tested different types or mattresses or materials then there will always be some risk involved so their return or exchange policies may also be an important part of your personal value equation just in case “best efforts” aren’t as successful as you hope. I’m always happy to help with “how” to choose and the pros and cons of different materials or mattresses but the specifics of “what” to choose is up to each person.
There is a link to a list of the members here that sell online in the tutorial post and if you look through their sites then I would talk with the ones that make or sell the types of mattresses you are most interested in. There are four of them that make and sell innerspring mattresses of various types.
Most retailers or manufacturers will suggest which type of box spring or foundation would be suitable for the mattress you are considering and there is also more about box springs and foundations and which types tend to work best with different types of mattresses in post #1 here.
Phoenix