I feel like no options I’ve found (even looking here) would really work for me and I’m at a loss of trying to consider resolutions.
-I am 5’1"
-cis female (relevant for body shape I’ll mention below)
-32 y/o-side sleeper
-Twin size mattress
-I am a hot sleeper, but nothing is going to change that in a mattress
-I sleep somewhat close to the edge of my bed because I have cats that like to sleep at my back. While edge support isn’t a massive issue, it can’t be sagging into roll-off territory on the sides
I’m reasonably sure I need a very plush mattress…but I see so many reviews saying plush mattresses have no longevity lasting even a full year without massive sagging. The trouble is, I have very substantial hips. I need a bed that can let me sink in 4-5" in the hips to properly allow my hips in enough that my waist can touch the mattress. My hips are bone, so I have no natural squish in my hips to help soften that. I’m always worried about a mattress sinking in too much and potentially causing back pain or causing my hips to hit springs, but the reality is, if a mattress isn’t soft enough to allow me to sink in by such a margin, I’ll be in pain anyway. I wear a back brace to keep my spine aligned even while sleeping. But, if I cannot sink properly into the mattress at my hips, it will force my back muscles to engage that much more and put a lot of strain on my upper back where the brace doesn’t cover. Currently, I have to wear a waist pillow to provide the support no mattress does for me because nothing allows my hips to sink in enough.
While I rarely suffer from hip pain while sleeping, upper back pain is a major issue for me (again, because there’s where the brace on my back isn’t and my upper back muscles have to engage that much more while sleeping). I also suffer from severe shoulder pain because mattresses just don’t cradle my arm the way I need when lying on it. I am a dedicated side sleeper and cannot sleep in any other position (I’ve tried).
My original-original mattress (found the tag) was a hybrid spring/polyfoam/pillow top. It was a Sherwood Southwest 7311 Maui Plush Pillow Top. I can’t find any information on this mattress anymore as it’s clearly not still being made, though Sherwood is still around. It’s not quite as old as I remember though, made in 2014. And, honestly, I like it a lot. It doesn’t sink in enough even after owning it for 7 years but it’s definitely softened to a comfortable place that has served me well. I just wanted to treat myself to something nicer that was maybe more suited to my needs.
I bought the Helix Midnight Luxe because a lot of reviews mentioned it’s on the softer side of a medium and I thought it may offer me the balance I need. I know it needs to be broken in a bit but, I’m in so much pain, I can’t last on this. I made it 3 days before I had to prop it up against my wall because my pain is excruciating. I can’t survive the break in period, it’s just that painful. It’s beyond the normal aches of a new mattress and into “I will need to see a doctor if I spend one more night on this thing”. I did plead my case to Helix and thankfully they’re letting me bypass the 30 day requirement and letting me get this out of my house this week.
I know I need a plush mattress and I need to get over my fear of that word. I clearly need something soft, but my biggest fear is what I see in every review of a soft mattress and that’s that it doesn’t even last a year. I’m wondering if maybe getting the Helix Sunset (non Luxe) or BB Aurora Soft and just getting a mattress topper (I heard good things about the Casper topper, but it’s out of stock currently) could take some of the burden off the mattress itself and help with the longevity? I really do think either of these mattresses would be the best fit for me (all my research has stated nothing is really softer than these) but I’m so nervous based on reviews that with the amount of targetted pressure it’ll be under that it will degrade incredibly quickly if I don’t use a topper too. I am a bit nervous about the BB Aurora because of the zoned coils…I really don’t think zoned coils are right for me being such a short person who needs more squish where the coils usually support more (hips).
Any advice or guidance is appreciated. I do prefer a traditional bed feel. I’m not against all foam vs hybrid; but options like the Purple would be a hard no. I know many places here have said ghostbed and nest are great but…based on a lot of reviews I’ve seen, they’re really not as soft as I need either.