Hippy side sleeper struggling with options. Helix Sunset vs BB Aurora Soft?

Discussions General Mattresses Questions
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I feel like no options I’ve found (even looking here) would really work for me and I’m at a loss of trying to consider resolutions.
-I am 5’1"
-cis female (relevant for body shape I’ll mention below)
-160 lb
-32 y/o-side sleeper
-Latex allergy
-Twin size mattress
-Budget 1.5k
-I am a hot sleeper, but nothing is going to change that in a mattress
-I sleep somewhat close to the edge of my bed because I have cats that like to sleep at my back. While edge support isn’t a massive issue, it can’t be sagging into roll-off territory on the sides

I’m reasonably sure I need a very plush mattress…but I see so many reviews saying plush mattresses have no longevity lasting even a full year without massive sagging. The trouble is, I have very substantial hips. I need a bed that can let me sink in 4-5" in the hips to properly allow my hips in enough that my waist can touch the mattress. My hips are bone, so I have no natural squish in my hips to help soften that. I’m always worried about a mattress sinking in too much and potentially causing back pain or causing my hips to hit springs, but the reality is, if a mattress isn’t soft enough to allow me to sink in by such a margin, I’ll be in pain anyway. I wear a back brace to keep my spine aligned even while sleeping. But, if I cannot sink properly into the mattress at my hips, it will force my back muscles to engage that much more and put a lot of strain on my upper back where the brace doesn’t cover. Currently, I have to wear a waist pillow to provide the support no mattress does for me because nothing allows my hips to sink in enough.

While I rarely suffer from hip pain while sleeping, upper back pain is a major issue for me (again, because there’s where the brace on my back isn’t and my upper back muscles have to engage that much more while sleeping). I also suffer from severe shoulder pain because mattresses just don’t cradle my arm the way I need when lying on it. I am a dedicated side sleeper and cannot sleep in any other position (I’ve tried).
My original-original mattress (found the tag) was a hybrid spring/polyfoam/pillow top. It was a Sherwood Southwest 7311 Maui Plush Pillow Top. I can’t find any information on this mattress anymore as it’s clearly not still being made, though Sherwood is still around. It’s not quite as old as I remember though, made in 2014. And, honestly, I like it a lot. It doesn’t sink in enough even after owning it for 7 years but it’s definitely softened to a comfortable place that has served me well. I just wanted to treat myself to something nicer that was maybe more suited to my needs.

I bought the Helix Midnight Luxe because a lot of reviews mentioned it’s on the softer side of a medium and I thought it may offer me the balance I need. I know it needs to be broken in a bit but, I’m in so much pain, I can’t last on this. I made it 3 days before I had to prop it up against my wall because my pain is excruciating. I can’t survive the break in period, it’s just that painful. It’s beyond the normal aches of a new mattress and into “I will need to see a doctor if I spend one more night on this thing”. I did plead my case to Helix and thankfully they’re letting me bypass the 30 day requirement and letting me get this out of my house this week.

I know I need a plush mattress and I need to get over my fear of that word. I clearly need something soft, but my biggest fear is what I see in every review of a soft mattress and that’s that it doesn’t even last a year. I’m wondering if maybe getting the Helix Sunset (non Luxe) or BB Aurora Soft and just getting a mattress topper (I heard good things about the Casper topper, but it’s out of stock currently) could take some of the burden off the mattress itself and help with the longevity? I really do think either of these mattresses would be the best fit for me (all my research has stated nothing is really softer than these) but I’m so nervous based on reviews that with the amount of targetted pressure it’ll be under that it will degrade incredibly quickly if I don’t use a topper too. I am a bit nervous about the BB Aurora because of the zoned coils…I really don’t think zoned coils are right for me being such a short person who needs more squish where the coils usually support more (hips).

Any advice or guidance is appreciated. I do prefer a traditional bed feel. I’m not against all foam vs hybrid; but options like the Purple would be a hard no. I know many places here have said ghostbed and nest are great but…based on a lot of reviews I’ve seen, they’re really not as soft as I need either.

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Hi akaisha0.

Welcome to our Mattress Forum. :slight_smile:

As a hippy side sleeper myself, I can relate to a little of what you were describing. I can even relate to the cats that like to sleep by your back (although I also have one who enjoys sleeping down by my ankles and she gets mad when I move my legs at night).

Maybe, but maybe not! Phoenix has a super detailed post here about the various factors at play in the microclimate of a mattress that may prove useful to you in some way.

This is false. The issue boils down to durability (or density) over softness. It’s more than possible to purchase a soft but adequately dense and durable plush mattress. You can read more about that in our Durability Guidelines but the short version is that for your best bet, we would recommend that…

-For a polyurethane foam: If your mattress is one-sided then I would look for 2.0 lb per cubic foot density or higher. If the mattress is two-sided then I would use a minimum foam density of 1.8 lbs per cubic foot or higher.
-Memory foam (or gel memory foam): If your mattress is one-sided then I would make sure that any memory foam is at least 5 lb per cubic foot. If the mattress is two-sided then I would use a minimum density of 4 lbs per cubic foot.

If you were to choose instead a mattress with a 1.8 lb (polyfoam) or 4 lb (memory foam) density, you’re still going to get adequate support and a reasonably long life out of your mattress, but maybe not the full “lifespan” which, in most cases, maxes out at about 10 years, give or take.

I tend to be in the school of thought that if it’s not broken, don’t fix it but I can also see that this mattress is probably nearing the end of its durability lifespan and if/when that happens, you may start to experience sagging and pain on the mattress, so it’s good that you’re looking around.

I tried searching for your mattress, but I only found this one. Is this anything like your mattress?

You’re absolutely right. The break in period can be uncomfortable at times, but should never be excruciating. You made the right call in returning the mattress.

I’m unsure of the mattresses you mentioned without seeing their specifications in front of me.

I will say, Nest offers the Alexander Signature Hybrid in Plush.

And I browsed Mattress to Go and found this one that may be worth a look and this one amongst others on their site. These are full sized mattresses though, not “beds in boxes” so the shipping and delivery logistics are a bit more…exciting :stuck_out_tongue:

Keep in mind that no matter who you buy from, it is important to have a detailed conversation with whomever you choose to purchase from and provide them with your stats, body type, sleeping styles, general preferences and history, some general information about your current mattress, or what you have tested, and any other specific information or circumstances that could affect your choice of a mattress so they can help you choose which may be your best fit from their inventory.

I hope this helps!
NikkiTMU

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Hi there. I see your post was quite a bit of time ago but trust me when I say I feel your pain LOL. But I just had an awful experience with the Quantum Edge 8-in coils with a 3 in medium latex and 3 in of soft latex above that both Dunlop. I have since transitioned to a foam base I believe it is 1.8 density and I then placed a 1 in natural latex topper, then my 2-in organic dunlop latex topper and STILL even though I felt the support was good enough me being 5’4 and about 160lb, my arms were still tingling and shoulders so sore in the morning even though my back was feeling supported. So being the strange self I am, I had three fabric toppers at my house. One being a tightly knit bamboo topper, the next being a duck and Company fabric topper, and my last one being more of a fluffy square box fiber filled topper, all with the sheet like fit other than the duck and Company that had the straps. Place those all on top of my constructed mattress in the order I told you them about and finally all that pain in my joints arms and shoulders have disappeared as I now have enough cushion for the lighter parts like my arms while not losing the support underneath me. Yes call me Princess and the Pea LOL but I have chronic lyme disease and severe severe joint pain so figured I’d share what I found to be a solution in a similar struggle you have shared in your post. Hope this helps some!

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I should also mention that I chose to leave my top 2 in latex topper outside of my mattress encasement, as I found it to be too firm if it was zipped in. Having it on top definitely gives it a much softer feel and more of what I remembered from my old mattress.