I’m 5’6" 185. Partner is 5’7", curvy 240.
Have a new, queen firm/extra firm, 12" coil mattress.
How can I make it softer? We are used to memory foan. Can we just get a topper? Any recommendations?
Was looking at 3 inch dunlop or talalay at diymattress.net. Any thoughts? Would that much expense be worth it?
TIA
Hi tdarter, and welcome to The Mattress Underground 
Glad to have you here.
[quote] I’m 5’6" 185. Partner is 5’7", curvy 240.
Have a new, queen firm/extra firm, 12" coil mattress.
How can I make it softer? We are used to memory foan. Can we just get a topper? Any recommendations?
Was looking at 3 inch dunlop or talalay at diymattress.net. Any thoughts? Would that much expense be worth it?[/quote]
Sorry to hear you and your partner are finding your current mattress too firm. Any mattress is unique to the sleepers using it, based on their stats(height, BMI, sleeping position(s) and any underlying health issues) and their PPP( Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and Personal preferences). A topper in a firmness that works for you both would indeed be a solution….as far as materials, you may want to review ourmattress specifications you need to know and the
mattress durability guidelinesif you have not already done so, to familiarize yourself with types of materials and how the hold up over time.
In general, memory foam, if of a lower density and made of inexpensive materials, can wear out prematurely, leaving ‘ruts’ or ‘divots’ which can cause soreness, joint pain and even alignment issues, especially for consumers with higher BMIs. Personally. If a retailer is not transparent about the thickness, firmness and materials used in their memory foam, I do not even consider them. Many find they sleep hot on memory foam, as well.
With that in mind, you’re in luck. It’s relatively easy to “soften” a too firm mattress whereas trying to firm up a sagging or too soft mattress can be nearly impossible and is generally inadvisable.
Latex is a very durable material for mattresses/toppers; Dunlop has a more ‘cradling’ feel to it while Talalay is ‘springier’ or ‘bouncier’. The difference is often described as pound cake (Dunlop) and angel food cake (Talalay) I looked at the DIYmattress.net talalay topper you referenced, it is offered in plush, medium and firm comfort levels at 2" or 3". This could indeed be a softer solution for your mattress. I would say that you may want to try out mattresses/toppers of various firmnesses at an in person showroom, if possible, just to get an idea of what you both would find comfortable. Also, be aware of the return/exchange policy of any retailer you order from – DIYmattress.net has a 60 day exchange policy for example. You also might want to look through ourTrusted Membersof the site, many of which carry toppers, as they are fully transparent about the materials used in their components, and have generous return and exchange policies along with excellent customer service. Many of our forum members use mattress toppers, possibly they can chime in with their own experiences with various products as well.
Hope this helps,
-Basilio