Hi,
My husband and I have different tastes when it comes to mattresses. I grew up on an orthopaedic mattress so I tend to prefer firm ones, and he likes them soft, but not too plush. Over the years I got used to something softer he already had. Then there was a big move and we needed to get a new one. We had a hard time coming to a consensus, but found one that seemed to work for both. There was a 90 day return policy, and after about a month I felt like it started to sag. So we went back to the store to find a new one. There was nothing we both liked, so the seller suggested we bought the firm one they had, which was a bit too firm even for me (since Iād been sleeping on something softer for at least 4 years by then), and that we purchased a softer topper to make the bed more comfortable. We accepted his suggestion, although they didnāt sell toppers, so in a rush we ended up getting one at Ikea, since no mattress stores in my area sold toppers, at least none I could try.
Since most Ikea toppers seemed to have memory foam or felt hard I gravitated towards the Tistedal model (latex). I have had latex pillows since I was a child and am very familiar, and happy, with the way it bounces back. I absolutely hate memory foam, and my husband isnāt a fan either. Besides hating the sinking feeling, I move a lot in my sleep and hate the fact it takes so long to spring back. And I also sleep hot.
Anyway, fast forward about 6 years, weāre both heavier and I have now developed bursitis on both my hips. The set up already wasnāt the best if Iām being honest, but it was enough. But now it feels too hard. The topper is 2"tall with the cover, so the latex layer itself is less than that, and it just feels too firm for my sore hip. The mattress is still in great shape and changing it would also be a great expense, so we decided to get a new topper, a better one. Iāve settled on latex because I believe the problem is with what I have and not latex in general.
The base we have, the mattress, is a Stearns & Foster Estate La Castello I Luxury Firm. It was a 2016 model, no longer available. The label says itās polyurethane foam 91%, Polyester fiber 3%, and 6% the other stuff on the cover (rayon, silk wool). The information I was able to find about it was that it has innersprings (individual pocketed coils), edge support, comfort layers (0.5"prima core gel foam, 1.5" marvelux gel foam, 1.6"advanced adapt memory foam), and a quilted layer with maybe 2"of gel foam. To be perfectly honest Iām not sure I ever felt much softness from these layers, and I never had the memory foam sinking feeling, although I only slept on it without the topper for a short while.
I started looking for a new latex topper but Iām a bit confused with which way Iām supposed to go to attempt success. I was looking into Sleep on Latex, itās a good price point for us. I read a bunch of reviews online to see if it would help me find a clear choice, but no such luck. Softness and comfort and subjective, I understand that, but I had hoped to find some clarity. At first I was reading that Dunlop was the way to go and that Talalay is for pillows. Then over here I realised thatās not necessarily true. I think I understood we need a thicker model, so whatever the company Iād probably go with the 3".
Weāre both about 5"7 and weigh, at the moment, between 200 and 230 pounds each. That made me think we might bottom out on the 2". Iām a part-time side sleeper, and so is he. Meaning we change positions. I sometimes like to be on a mix position between stomach and side, but I know during the night I turn on my back and sides. Sometimes I spend most of the night on my sides. Heās kind of the same way. So something very soft would be bad for us. And I dislike the feeling of sinking too much into the bed, which people have reported with a 3"soft. If it werenāt for my bursitis I probably would try the medium, but Iām afraid it might be too firm.
While searching for Sleep on Latex details I found that the soft has an ILD of 20, and the medium has an ILD of 30, which apparently would make it medium firm, and that "firm"aspect is whatās scaring me. Some reviewers say that their soft isnāt that soft, but I donāt know what theyāre are comparing it to. A couple of them said the medium was too hard and the soft was too soft. I feel like Goldilocks. Iāve read a bunch of guidelines and according to them I feel Iām in some kind of firmness limbo because itās said that if you need pressure point relief you need soft, but if you 're on the heavier side, you need something firmer and shouldnāt go for soft. I thought of trying a soft but then the manufacturer says that the 3"will change the feel of the mattress in 80%, and the 2"will change it 50%. Well, I donāt want something that will be too soft, I need the support, but Iāve also read that 2"isnāt enough for heavier people because they bottom out, no matter the firmness. Elsewhere I also read that mattresses with a medium-firm ILD score of 27 to 31 are ideal for average-weight individuals who need more substantial support or some heavier sleepers who rest on their side. Which is it? Iām legitimately confused.
Could someone please help steer me in the right direction? From all Iāve read I feel I need something thatās medium or maybe medium soft because of the hip. Iām afraid of the soft with ILD20, it seems very close to plush. According to online charts that would be around ILD 26. Is there a compromise to be made here with the Sleep on Latex line? Would the firmness of my actual mattress counter the softness of the topper enough to give me a medium feel instead of having to go for the medium firm? And if not, is there another reliable company around the same price point, that perhaps allows a trial month as well, that has something with an ILD thatās closer to medium/medium soft? Should I consider Talalay as well? Might that be better for my bursitis or worse?
I understand this is all very subjective and a matter of taste as well, not just sleeping positions and weight. But according to all advice online my weight conflicts with my positions and my bursitis, especially when you add in the fact I donāt like too soft. Unfortunately I have no specs on the bed I used to sleep on before the move, and that might be a moot point as well since I didnāt have bursitis on my hips back then.
Please help. My husband wants to buy something until the end of the month and it just gets more confusing the more I research.
Thank you.
