Hi,
My husband and I have different tastes when it comes to mattresses. I grew up on an orthopaedic mattress so I tend to prefer firm ones, and he likes them soft, but not too plush. Over the years I got used to something softer he already had. Then there was a big move and we needed to get a new one. We had a hard time coming to a consensus, but found one that seemed to work for both. There was a 90 day return policy, and after about a month I felt like it started to sag. So we went back to the store to find a new one. There was nothing we both liked, so the seller suggested we bought the firm one they had, which was a bit too firm even for me (since I’d been sleeping on something softer for at least 4 years by then), and that we purchased a softer topper to make the bed more comfortable. We accepted his suggestion, although they didn’t sell toppers, so in a rush we ended up getting one at Ikea, since no mattress stores in my area sold toppers, at least none I could try.
Since most Ikea toppers seemed to have memory foam or felt hard I gravitated towards the Tistedal model (latex). I have had latex pillows since I was a child and am very familiar, and happy, with the way it bounces back. I absolutely hate memory foam, and my husband isn’t a fan either. Besides hating the sinking feeling, I move a lot in my sleep and hate the fact it takes so long to spring back. And I also sleep hot.
Anyway, fast forward about 6 years, we’re both heavier and I have now developed bursitis on both my hips. The set up already wasn’t the best if I’m being honest, but it was enough. But now it feels too hard. The topper is 2"tall with the cover, so the latex layer itself is less than that, and it just feels too firm for my sore hip. The mattress is still in great shape and changing it would also be a great expense, so we decided to get a new topper, a better one. I’ve settled on latex because I believe the problem is with what I have and not latex in general.
The base we have, the mattress, is a Stearns & Foster Estate La Castello I Luxury Firm. It was a 2016 model, no longer available. The label says it’s polyurethane foam 91%, Polyester fiber 3%, and 6% the other stuff on the cover (rayon, silk wool). The information I was able to find about it was that it has innersprings (individual pocketed coils), edge support, comfort layers (0.5"prima core gel foam, 1.5" marvelux gel foam, 1.6"advanced adapt memory foam), and a quilted layer with maybe 2"of gel foam. To be perfectly honest I’m not sure I ever felt much softness from these layers, and I never had the memory foam sinking feeling, although I only slept on it without the topper for a short while.
I started looking for a new latex topper but I’m a bit confused with which way I’m supposed to go to attempt success. I was looking into Sleep on Latex, it’s a good price point for us. I read a bunch of reviews online to see if it would help me find a clear choice, but no such luck. Softness and comfort and subjective, I understand that, but I had hoped to find some clarity. At first I was reading that Dunlop was the way to go and that Talalay is for pillows. Then over here I realised that’s not necessarily true. I think I understood we need a thicker model, so whatever the company I’d probably go with the 3".
We’re both about 5"7 and weigh, at the moment, between 200 and 230 pounds each. That made me think we might bottom out on the 2". I’m a part-time side sleeper, and so is he. Meaning we change positions. I sometimes like to be on a mix position between stomach and side, but I know during the night I turn on my back and sides. Sometimes I spend most of the night on my sides. He’s kind of the same way. So something very soft would be bad for us. And I dislike the feeling of sinking too much into the bed, which people have reported with a 3"soft. If it weren’t for my bursitis I probably would try the medium, but I’m afraid it might be too firm.
While searching for Sleep on Latex details I found that the soft has an ILD of 20, and the medium has an ILD of 30, which apparently would make it medium firm, and that "firm"aspect is what’s scaring me. Some reviewers say that their soft isn’t that soft, but I don’t know what they’re are comparing it to. A couple of them said the medium was too hard and the soft was too soft. I feel like Goldilocks. I’ve read a bunch of guidelines and according to them I feel I’m in some kind of firmness limbo because it’s said that if you need pressure point relief you need soft, but if you 're on the heavier side, you need something firmer and shouldn’t go for soft. I thought of trying a soft but then the manufacturer says that the 3"will change the feel of the mattress in 80%, and the 2"will change it 50%. Well, I don’t want something that will be too soft, I need the support, but I’ve also read that 2"isn’t enough for heavier people because they bottom out, no matter the firmness. Elsewhere I also read that mattresses with a medium-firm ILD score of 27 to 31 are ideal for average-weight individuals who need more substantial support or some heavier sleepers who rest on their side. Which is it? I’m legitimately confused.
Could someone please help steer me in the right direction? From all I’ve read I feel I need something that’s medium or maybe medium soft because of the hip. I’m afraid of the soft with ILD20, it seems very close to plush. According to online charts that would be around ILD 26. Is there a compromise to be made here with the Sleep on Latex line? Would the firmness of my actual mattress counter the softness of the topper enough to give me a medium feel instead of having to go for the medium firm? And if not, is there another reliable company around the same price point, that perhaps allows a trial month as well, that has something with an ILD that’s closer to medium/medium soft? Should I consider Talalay as well? Might that be better for my bursitis or worse?
I understand this is all very subjective and a matter of taste as well, not just sleeping positions and weight. But according to all advice online my weight conflicts with my positions and my bursitis, especially when you add in the fact I don’t like too soft. Unfortunately I have no specs on the bed I used to sleep on before the move, and that might be a moot point as well since I didn’t have bursitis on my hips back then.
Please help. My husband wants to buy something until the end of the month and it just gets more confusing the more I research.
Thank you.
