Hi CW,
I’m making just a quick post here… Make sure you first read the first post, which is an excellent starting point written by Phoenix on how to find the best mattress for you. That link is here:
https://forum.mattressunderground.com/t/how-to-look-for-and-find-the-best-mattress-for-you-read-first
Also, similar to another thread going on, you may find a split mattress helps you create a mattress, so that your side and your wife’s side are most appropriate for your sleeping styles, and allows you to more easily address the weight difference between you. Also, depending on your shoulders, you might find a zoned bed helps address that. See this link for side-to-side split mattress:
https://forum.mattressunderground.com/t/designing-the-right-mattress-for-us
And re zoning, the only link I know is FloBeds vzone.