Kiss mattress too firm... Unsure of what to try next?

I’ve had my Kiss mattress made by SleepEz for about 65-70 days now. I chose the “plush” or softer of the two options that they offer. Customer service, product quality, fit/finish, and shipping are genuinely all top notch. However, the mattress is just still too firm for me.

I’m 6’0, 180 pounds and always a side sleeper. I feel pressure in my hips and shoulders when sleeping on my side with this mattress. They offered to send a softer topper but I feel that this would just be a bandaid for the situation and would prefer to try another mattress.

Looking at mattresses for under $1,400 in King size, is there anything worth trying that would be softer? I was looking at the Brooklyn Bedding mattress in the “soft” option but I’m afraid that it won’t be much different than the “plush” Kiss mattress that I have now. Almost wondering if I should go back to an all memory foam mattress.

Hi BN Feelgood,

I’m not sure why you feel a topper would be a “bandaid” since it’s specifically designed to be a solution for the small number of people that prefer a softer mattress than their plush option. If the mattress/topper combination turns out to be a good “match” for you in terms of PPP then it would also have the advantage of being able to replace just the topper without replacing the entire mattress if it softens or breaks down before the upper foam layers in the mattress (the top layers of a sleeping system are generally the first to soften or break down) or if your needs or preferences change over time and a topper can also help extend the useful life of a mattress underneath it as well. It would certainly be worth trying if for no other reason than to confirm that you would do better on a softer mattress.

The first “rule” of mattress shopping is to always remember that you are the only one that can feel what you feel on a mattress and there are too many unknowns, variables, and personal preferences involved that are unique to each person to use a formula or for anyone to be able to predict or make a specific suggestion or recommendation about which mattress or combination of materials and components or which type of mattress would be the best “match” for you in terms of “comfort” or PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and Personal preferences) or how a mattress will “feel” to you or compare to another mattress based on specs (either yours or a mattress) or “theory at a distance” that can possibly be more accurate than your own careful testing (hopefully using the testing guidelines in step 4 of the tutorial) or if you can’t test a mattress in person then your own personal sleeping experience (see mattress firmness/comfort levels in post #2 here).

There would also be many mattresses that are softer but there are also no “standard” definitions or consensus of opinions for firmness ratings and different manufacturers can rate their mattresses very differently than others so a mattress that one manufacturer rates as being a specific firmness could be rated very differently by another manufacturer. Different people can also have very different perceptions of firmness and softness compared to others as well and a mattress that feels firm for one person can feel like “medium” for someone else or even “soft” for someone else (or vice versa) depending on their body type, sleeping style, physiology, their frame of reference based on what they are used to, and their individual sensitivity and perceptions. There are also different types of firmness and softness that different people may be sensitive to that can affect how they “rate” a mattress as well (see post #15 here) so different people can also have very different opinions on how two mattresses compare in terms of firmness and some people may rate one mattress as being firmer than another and someone else may rate them the other way around. This is all relative and very subjective and is as much an art as a science.

In other words … the only way to know how soft or firm a mattress will feel for you will be based on your own experience.

While your own careful testing or personal experience is the most reliable way to know whether any mattress is a good “match” for you in terms of firmness, comfort and PPP or how closely it compares to another mattress … when you can’t test a mattress in person then the most reliable source of guidance is always a more detailed phone conversation with a knowledgeable and experienced retailer or manufacturer that has your best interests at heart and who can help “talk you through” the specifics of their mattresses and the properties and “feel” of the materials they are using (fast or slow response, resilience, firmness etc) and the options they have available that may be the best “match” for you based on the information you provide them, any local testing you have done or mattresses you have slept on and liked or other mattresses you are considering that they are familiar with, and the “averages” of other customers that are similar to you. They will know more about “matching” their specific mattress designs and firmness levels to different body types, sleeping positions, and preferences (or to other mattresses that they are familiar with) than anyone else.

Assuming that the materials in a mattress you are considering are durable enough for your body type and meet the guidelines here … the choice between different types and combinations of materials and components or different types of mattresses (see this article) are more of a preference and a budget choice than a “better/worse” choice. Some people like memory foam and some people don’t like it at all and some people like some memory foam mattresses while other memory foam mattresses are completely unsuitable for them to sleep on. Like all the different types of mattresses … memory foam mattresses come in a very wide range of firmness levels from very soft to very firm.


Did you ever decide what to do? I’m curious because I’m in your general size group, I also prefer a soft mattress and am a side sleeper. We bought a Brooklyn Bedding BME in medium and it’s too firm for me, so we’re looking at alternatives. We’re thinking of the SeepEZ thickest mattress (and I’d go soft). We might also go BME soft or we may put a latex topper over the BME medium we have. Still debating.

So, curious as to whether you got the topper and how it is. Or, did you get the BME in soft? I’d be curious to hear your thoughts on that, as well.