Hi oldschooler,
Welcome to the Mattress Forum!
Iām glad that youāve found us!
Iām sorry to learn about your pains. Even without seeing your current mattress, Iād tend to agree with you that itās probably served you well and is quite a bit āpast its primeā. While it may not necessarily be the cause of your issues, an uncomfortable mattress can exacerbate such conditions.
Latex can be a good material to provide both good pressure point relief, as well as support. It has a feel that is different from conventional polyfoam and memory foam (itās more buoyant and point elastic), so it might be worth your time to try and find an all-latex mattress close to home and test it out in person to see if you have an affinity for such a product.
The good news is that there are many knowledgeable online manufacturers (including many of the site members here) offering quality latex, some of which are even in customizable configurable systems.
Iām assuming that placing the pillow between your legs is something you do when sleeping upon your side, which can be common for people using old and new mattresses, as it can take some of the pressure off of the tensor fascia latae and iliotibial band (outside of the thigh) when sleeping on the side, as the flexibility in this area tends to decrease as we age, and also varies with the Q-angle of the hip. The use of the pillow may be something youāre currently doing to compensate for a lack of support, comfort, or both, in your current mattress.
Thereās more complete information about tips for different sleeping positions in this article. Side sleepers general desire a bit more surface comfort to allow their shoulders and hips to āsink inā a bit more, but not to the point of causing poor alignment. When you sleep on your back, youāll also need to allow your hips and shoulders āsink inā a bit, but this usually wouldnāt be quite as much as a side sleeper, so youāll want to test out or find something that is suitable for both of these popular sleeping postures.
One thing Iāll recommend is that when you canāt test a mattress in person or decide to shop online, then the most reliable source of guidance is always a more detailed phone conversation with a knowledgeable and experienced retailer or manufacturer that has your best interests at heart and who can help ātalk you throughā the specifics of their mattresses and the properties and āfeelā of the materials they are using and the options they have available that may be the best āmatchā for you based on the information you provide them, any local testing you have done or mattresses you have slept on and liked or other mattresses you are considering that they are familiar with, and the āaveragesā of other customers that are similar to you. They will know more about āmatchingā their specific mattress designs, options, and firmness levels to different body types, sleeping positions, and preferences (or to other mattresses that they are familiar with) than anyone else.
While I know youāve been reading a bit here on the site, you may have run across me discussing that while I can certainly help with āhowā to choose ā¦ Itās not possible to make specific suggestions or recommendations for either a mattress, manufacturers/retailers, or combinations of materials or components because the first āruleā of mattress shopping is to always remember that you are the only one that can feel what you feel on a mattress and there are too many unknowns, variables, and personal preferences involved that are unique to each person to use a formula or for anyone to be able to predict or make a specific suggestion or recommendation about which mattress or combination of materials and components or which type of mattress would be the best āmatchā for you in terms of ācomfortā, firmness, or PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and your own Personal preferences) or how a mattress will āfeelā to you or compare to another mattress based on specs (either yours or a mattress), sleeping positions, health conditions, or ātheory at a distanceā that can possibly be more reliable than your own careful testing (hopefully using the testing guidelines in step 4 of the tutorial) or your own personal sleeping experience (see mattress firmness/comfort levels in post #2 here).
If you havenāt already, make sure you read through the mattress shopping tutorial here which includes all the basic information, steps, and guidelines that can help you make the best possible choice ā¦ and perhaps more importantly know how and why to avoid the worst ones.
Two of the most important links in the tutorial that I would especially make sure youāve read are post #2 here which has more about the different ways to choose a suitable mattress (either locally or online) that is the best āmatchā for you in terms of ācomfortā, firmness, and PPP (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and your own Personal preferences) that can help you assess and minimize the risks of making a choice that doesnāt turn out as well as you hoped for and post #13 here which has more about the most important parts of the āvalueā of a mattress purchase which can help you make more meaningful quality/value comparisons between mattresses in terms of suitability (how well you will sleep), durability (how long you will sleep well), and the overall value of a mattress compared to your other finalists based on all the parts of your personal value equation that are most important to you (including the price of course and the options you have available after a purchase if your choice doesnāt turn out as well as you hoped for).
Outside of PPP (which is the most important part of āvalueā), the next most important part of the value of a mattress purchase is durability which is all about how long you will sleep well on a mattress. This is the part of your research that you canāt see or āfeelā and assessing the durability and useful life of a mattress depends on knowing the specifics of its construction and the type and quality of the materials inside it regardless of the name of the manufacturer on the label or how a mattress feels in a showroom or when it is relatively new so I would always make sure that you find out the information listed here so you can compare the quality of the materials and components to the durability guidelines here to make sure there are no lower quality materials or weak links in a mattress that would be a cause for concern relative to the durability and useful life of a mattress before making any purchase. If you do decide to stay with an all-latex product, that would generally be something using good quality and durable materials.
In its simplest form ā¦ choosing the ābest possibleā mattress for any particular person really comes down to FIRST finding a few knowledgeable and transparent retailers and/or manufacturers (either locally or online) that sell the types of mattresses that you are most interested in that are in a budget range you are comfortable with and that you have confirmed will provide you with the all the information you need about the materials and components inside the mattresses they sell so you will be able to make informed choices and meaningful comparisons between mattresses and then ā¦
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Careful testing (hopefully using the testing guidelines in the tutorial) to make sure that a mattress is a good match for you in terms of ācomfortā, firmness, and PPP ā¦ and/or that you are comfortable with the options you have available to return, exchange, or āfine tuneā the mattress and any costs involved if you canāt test a mattress in person or arenāt confident that your mattress is a suitable choice.
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Checking to make sure that there are no lower quality materials or weak links in a mattress you are considering relative to your weight/BMI range that could compromise the durability and useful life of the mattress.
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Comparing your finalists for āvalueā based on #1 and #2 and all the other parts of your personal value equation that are most important to you.
If you have more specific questions after reading through this and/or having discussions with retailers/manufacturers, Iāll do my best to be assistive.
Phoenix